◉‿◉ my color is fading ◉‿◉

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  • likealifelessdoll 8w


    I just can't help myself but to wonder.

    When will I grow as a beautiful tree?

    When will my star shine?

    When is my time?

    I did everything to get my works notice and yet, I'm still that little seed.

    I'm already drowning in the water, I get too much sun... they're not helping me anymore to become big, to become as strong as I have to be— I'm just dying.

  • likealifelessdoll 8w

    Make Sacrifices

    You're crying in silence caused by his hurtful words,
    questioning fate why it has to be him out of many shining and good stars?
    Is the ache enough to let go,
    or does the sting teach you to hold more?
    You exactly denying it but within yourself, he's your unalterable gift.

    It is now your time to make sacrifices,
    he has already proven himself and you secretly admit his success,
    let yourself be reminded to change for the better,
    for he is right when he stated about the pain is there.

    Choose your man every day and not just when the two of you are okay,
    be clear from his image when torture happens repetitively to your only one,
    he genuinely loves you,
    so it's your chance to show that you cherish him too.

  • likealifelessdoll 8w

    Each time Leah falls, she cries and not standing again, afraid of always getting hurt.

    Each time Vanessa falls, she cries but stands up again and conquering what she is fearing... getting hurt too.

  • likealifelessdoll 21w


    I don't find any happiness with my current situation and I just feel like I'm wasting our time for each other. Maybe because even from the start, my heart belongs only to someone... the person I'm seeing when I'm asleep and the same one I'm dreaming of in my reality.

    A kind of unfair to the man who is always by my side and letting me do the painful things to him over again and to me who never wanted anything but be with my greatest love. Whatever I do, that old feeling is still in my heart, it is too heartbreaking to teach myself how to feel numb and act as if I'm really glad about what I'm getting.

    My inner me is longing and hoping that at least one day I get to touch the love which I know I cannot have, not even in our next lives. Can I lose my grip on the innocent boy who always enduring the aches I caused? But am I even holding him or... I just assumed that it was?

    There are times that I think I am truthfully not in love with the guy I chose, concluding that I stayed this long because of guilt and convincing myself that I have to pay for my careless decisions including the fact that I stepped overboard causing him to crash repetitively. Yet believing as well that it might love because I cannot stand the view of him... slowly breaking— that I am too willing to offer myself to sufferings to protect him.


  • likealifelessdoll 21w

    Strangers to Friends to Family to Strangers Again

    I maybe prayed the end,
    likes to change the old,
    fills the bad of good,
    continue the morrow of great,
    but not that painful scene.

    Zero is not the number I wished,
    neither one nor two,
    add us but don't give us to them,
    tears flow down to my cheeks,
    if not meant to be,
    if not us 'till the end,
    why let us met?

    Want to count the days with them,
    yet fate cut the tie,
    we have to learn from others,
    we need to accept the present to go on.


  • likealifelessdoll 21w

    Bad Woman

    One day I will deny,
    it is hurtful,
    it might be unforgettable,
    believe me, they're worth it after all.

    One day will come,
    when I will regret what I've done,
    be the gladdest,
    the bad woman has her pain.
    you only have months and years maybe,
    while she's forever guilty.