just a useless lesbian who can't spell very well writing sapphic love poems

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  • lesbiabken 167w

    I wear sunglasses inside
    Hoping that it dims your resplendence
    So I need not dare myself to look away
    Before your raw beauty kills my retinas
    And renders me blind
    Or maybe
    I am already blind
    Maybe you shine so bright
    And I look so closely
    That I miss every warning
    That the sun will soon be covered
    By storm

  • lesbiabken 169w

    I can't breathe
    Laugh for me my dear
    Anxiety has twisted itself like a snake
    Or a disease within my guts
    I can't breathe
    So smile for me love
    It feels like fear
    fear itself is dragging it's sharpened
    Claws down my throat
    I can taste blood I think
    I can't breathe
    Look at me hunny
    I'm a foot away
    I'm drowning
    Your face is so clear
    But I'm drowning
    I might as well
    Be a continent away
    I can't breathe
    Please say something
    I can't
    Because I can't even breathe

  • lesbiabken 169w

    I like angry women
    Maybe it's because they come to life, passion filled and ready to fight

    Maybe it's because they drag my heart from my tired chest
    Maybe it's because at their willingness to feel they show me time and time again that it's okay to feel every emotion
    Maybe it's because I'm envious of the freedom they feel
    Maybe it's a cycle of abuse

  • lesbiabken 169w

    I used to thank the lessons that brought me to you

    Now you're just a lesson.

    Thank you.

  • lesbiabken 169w

    In letting you go I think I let go a piece of me

    But it's okay I think I'm stronger without it

  • lesbiabken 169w

    I knew I was over you the moment I stopped looking for your zodiac when checking my horoscope.
    I knew I was over you when I started to thank you for the lessons loving you taught me like to look before I leap and that confusion is alright but I deserve consistency and asking someone not to drag my tired heart in the dirt behind them is not asking too much I'm just asking the wrong person.
    I knew I was over you when I no longer hated you for all the ways you did me dirty but instead I almost didn't care.
    I knew I was over you when I realized the soft spot I have for you wasn't so soft anymore.

  • lesbiabken 169w

    I had once held you like the night sky in my gaze. Filled with wonder, excitement, sureity. Behold! Is this a lesson or is this my destination?

    The lesson I learned was to protect my tender heart the next time I blindly fall. Like you they may not be there to catch me.

  • lesbiabken 169w

    What Are You Looking At?

    warmth more comforting and consoling than the memories of warm earth sifting through my tired fingers as I dig soft dark tombs for bulbs clenched firm and gentle within my grasp

    eyelashes; a gentle breeze

     sweeping the sunlights dust off your cheek

    as your brown eyes that bring me all of the comforts of home in a single, hurried glance

    sweep around the room

    What are you looking at?

    comfortable silence settles on your lips

    and I know, I know my eyes are supposed to fixed on this evening's choice of entertainment.  

      Darling, believe me, I know.

    But I can't tear my eyes off you distractedly pulling your lower lip between your teeth and suddenly I am as fixated on the features of your face as you are in the blue glow spilling over the room from the tv

    What are you looking at?

    Fingers; tense and firm digging into the crooks of your sharpened elbows. I'm almost unable to fight the overwhelming urge to pull them within my own and kiss the anger out of them but it passes through me and I can't help but think there is a much better use for those fingers.

     A smile plays at the corner of my lips as I think about your fingers just as tense, buried in the mattress as my head lay buried between your thighs and my heart lay buried somewhere in your chest.

    My knees cross. My hands find each other as I twine my own fingers together the way I long to grasp yours. My eyes sink into them and I realize I could lose myself in a spiral of thoughts but then your laugh, a sound that has brought me more clarity effortlessly than years of trying to hunt for it.

     The eyes I've found home in meet mine.

    What are you looking at?

    i don't know how to explain that before me i see every adventure i'll ever embark, i see the hand i'll grasp in terrified fear as i take whatever steps I take next, i see summers leaving bits of my skirt hanging on barbed wire as I tear through the alfalfa, butterfly net clenched in excitement, I see you like stars directing me home. I just want you to take me in your arms because in them I have found where I belong. You are my favourite place.

    What am I looking at?

    Everything. You. God, what could be my whole future sitting sleepily and stoned less than a foot away.

    Words I wish I could say tangle in my throat like the half abandoned crocheted scarf sitting somewhere in my memory.

    What are you looking at?