faith in the future they/them

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  • lemon_eyes 24w

    Now kiss me under the lilac skies

  • lemon_eyes 24w

    It's gone forever

    Dreaming of the past like it's going to come back

    Trying so hard to clutch those moments where nothing mattered

    Failing to grasp the days where "suicide is always an option" wasn't in my mind

    It's such a horrible moment when you realize that you will never get yourself back

    It's a string of pained fibers when you realize that you're stuck in the television series of unfortunate blank days

    Days where addiction is the only memorable experience

    When you catch yourself laughing in moments when you should be crying

    The touch of other humans or breathing beings is painful but it's still something I crave more than air

  • lemon_eyes 27w


    They did not live happily ever after for this world is not perfect and no one can live to have a happy ending especially without the one they love.

  • lemon_eyes 28w

    The World Is A Grave

    Brown broken branches
    Souls lost in thought
    The weary world was dying

    All humans are no more
    For the pain took their souls
    They gave up after sorrowful years of trying

    Trying to escape the broken fate
    Of our bitter sweet tales
    And stories we thought would go undying

    But here they lay
    In the grave of the forgotten
    Lost in valleys of human remains

    They fought wars in hopes of peace
    Looking for great in the wrong places
    They never found their peace not even in the lonesome cold rain

    Little trinkets that were once ones joy
    Lay on the ground age taking the beauty away
    Faded into nothing with whistling restrain

    Holidays never to be celebrated
    Or to be marked on a picture calendar
    Never to be remembered again

    Mumbles in caves
    And water soaked dirt
    Whispering winds flying past old forgotten places

    Humans left with utter refrain
    Trying to survive yet they lay on their death beds
    Leaving the world with their many broken ancient traces

    Cold Stone towers and skyscrapers all fallen
    Paintings covered in dust
    The faded art with unrecognizable faces

    Mountains covered in frozen bodies
    All those souls were in hope of finding life outside the cities
    But non survived the climb of the rocks or they're journey to space

    Good bye we all had to say
    Warm tears on dried dirty faces
    As we said goodbye to this home that was not our place

  • lemon_eyes 28w

    Cracked Sanity

    Clocks ticking, sucking life out of their ears
    Cold fingers shaking, blood rush, brushing away the tears

    Silence breaking all his sanity, his mind running from what's inside. Can't run far. Far, he can't run far

    Nevertheless he tries, falling, breaking, smelling the old blood as it dries

    Cracking whips as he tumbles. Grabbing air trying to catch a glimpse of the darkness.

    Bad bandages covering his own self inflicted wounds. Brushes become knives, breathes become dead lives.

    He's slipping out, out of his own grip. His soul gone, ripped

    Black air, broken dispiar, cracked bones. Life on hold.

  • lemon_eyes 28w

    Soft Falling Rain

    I fell in love with the soft falling rain
    When I'm under the dripping sky is when I feel the most sane

    When the moon is behind the clouds
    Is when my thoughts are the least loud

    When the stars are scattered across the angelic blue night
    Is when I decide to hault my fight

    But I am not letting go or ending my life
    I am taking a moment to stop scraping the knife

    I'm breathing in the life of the world
    I feel like Im finally the one that's holding the sword

    But when I'm not under the soft falling rain
    Is when the darkness starts feeding the flame

    The flame of worry the flame of purposelessness
    The flame breathes inside me it eats me alive it feeds the dreadful numbness inside

    The flame is not kind
    The flame lives in my mind

    This is not the flame that you can kill with water
    This is the kind of flame that only ends with sorrowful slaughter

    My slaughter, my slaughter is what would put an end to this horror
    This life that I cannot continue no longer

    I am dieing inside sometimes slowly and sometimes faster then the flying light
    No matter how hard I try when I look into the future I am nowhere in sight

    Because when I think of my story I cannot pas the present time
    I cannot make my life longer then my current story line

    For my suicide is what ends it all
    My suicide is like a ticking time bomb

    That will have to explode sooner then later
    I feel like my life is a flying crater

    My lifes story is made to crash
    And it will break, not in half

    My life will end my my own hand
    And my story will be buried in the earth's guarded land

    In the end what difference does my death make
    The sun will not stop burning, our own planet is not at stake

    The earths greenery will not stop growing
    The Stars will not stop brightly glowing

    The sun and the moon will not stop their cycle
    The skeleton will not lose its grey skull

    The broken will not smile
    The died will not come to life

    Our country's leaders will not stop lying
    The ones at their death bed will not stop dying

    Nothing will change only my life will be removed
    From the ones that I have hurt or that i have bruised

    I can't carry this anymore, the hurt I hold when I try
    Is bigger then the greatest lie

    I want to die but do not cry, I won't be dead I will be
    Under the softly falling rain next to a tall brown oak tree

    Singing music as the wind passes so swiftly
    That it sends shivers through my small pale body

  • lemon_eyes 28w

    Empty Poet

    I'm sad
    Do I find that bad

    No but I'm not glad either
    Maybe I could have tried harder

    To be happy in my place
    To have a real smile on my face

    Its not like I don't try

    But I feel like I don't try hard enough
    I mean was I made to not be tough

    You know what I mean, if you don't it's not your fault
    Maybe you do maybe you do not

    I think you forgot that life takes a different toll
    On every clueless wondering soul

    Um what's it like to be happy
    To live life all silly and sappy

    Do you know or is that just what life is like in a fairy tale
    I wanna live in a fairy tale where I can fly where I do not wale

    I cry myself to sleep
    But my life isn't really that deep

    I'm just a sad teenager
    That gives into the anger

    That's fed to them on a daily
    But to the adults that seems to silly

    They call us lazy and selfish
    They treat us like we aren't a lost fish

    They think we left the group of fishes by being devlish
    When they kicked us out ha isn't that rich

    All my life I've been called names or been kicked under the bus
    And they think that's no reason to make such a fuss

    I'm sad but you know that
    You won't do anything till I'm gone but you don't know that

    Because you won't realize that I'm actually sad till I'm actually gone
    And you think your so strong

    You think we're impressed by your muscles naw
    You honestly look as dumb as straw

    So when I die my my own hand
    On who will the damn blame land

    Me? My parents? The bully's? The adults?
    Is anyone actually at fault?

    Sure all the mean names and comments did their painful share
    But there is no true reason as to why I'm in such pain and that isn't rare

    To be sad with no reason to stare at
    So when my life crashes with a splat

    Don't you dare blame anyone
    Not me not your daughter your child or son

    I will die, no stopping that
    But if I die by suicide that's not something you can spit at

    You've been spitting on my my entire life leaving me on the concrete floor
    So why would you stop then when I'm gone when I am no more

    Because regret is greater then gratitude
    When Anne Frank wrote that she had the right attitude

    Sometimes I want to kill myself and scream "goodbye I hate you all' or say at least something

    But other times I want to wither away in silence letting the eerie air drag my apologies into nothing.

  • lemon_eyes 28w

    Creating Another Me

    All the pieces of me
    Left with you
    You didn't run or walk out
    You fought to stay
    Begging with broken cries
    Kneeling down to pray
    Making mistakes
    Trying to hard

    We couldn't lose each other
    Yet somehow life failed us

    And we lost both our souls
    In trying to be one
    I dunno is that it, am I done
    All I can say is it was no fun
    Dying under the warm winter sun
    An empty fall diving between an empty run

    A soul in the galaxy
    A mind in each star
    A traveler on each cloud
    A million deaths per world

    History is a lie
    The future is when we die

    Its a never ending cycle joy and pain
    Find laughs under the showering rain
    Slowly turning into an unwanted stain

    We lost our run
    We are dead breathers
    Running from our problems
    I dunno what to do goddamn
    I've never found a person
    That could be my you

    An imaginary lover
    Taking two in one me
    And creating another
    A devils laugh
    A broken smile with no guiding staff

    Breathing cold air
    Feeling warm air
    Feeding pain with nothing to spare
    Laughing about trauma without care
    At this point being alone isn't rare
    Even in such a world where all they do is stare
    Each with their own opinion to declare

    When people love you
    It doesn't give you a reason to love yourself
    Saying that it should, breaks the loved
    The ones that are completely out suffered

    A lack of breath
    Craving no life but not death

  • lemon_eyes 28w

    A Darling From a Book

    Take your time
    I love watching you
    Undress and do your daily things
    Everything that you do
    It's beautiful
    Done with effortless elegance

    You love the little things
    Green trees and small copper rings
    You like blaring music in the car
    Making fun of country music
    And rapping along to wordless beats
    Oh darling you are my all

    Your the character in the greatest books
    Stories that dance in minds
    Even years after they've read the story
    Your kisses are stuck in my mind forever

    Days go by and I need your laughter
    You make me smile and push my boundaries
    You know everything about a person
    Just by looking into their eyes
    And the wrinkles and creases on their faces
    Darling you are loved
    By the world, I, and everything under and above

  • lemon_eyes 28w

    His Suicide Paper

    Roses and leaves, dark and dead.

    The words sang softly in his head.

    He clutched the paper.

    The paper with his favorite story.

    Or well his least favorite story

    His story

    His ending chapter

    His last word

    His tale gone and done

    His last breath taken