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  • kae_mar 13w

    I don't remember|I don't know

    Have you ever struggled to
    See yourself
    Remember what you like
    Remember who you are
    Know your face
    Feel your feet
    In your place?
    Have you ever failed to
    See yourself
    Remember your dreams
    Remember your tastes
    Sit by yourself
    Feel the wind
    On your face?
    Do you like apples?
    Do you prefer books to movies?
    Hiking to swimming?
    Simple snacks or big meals?
    Who am I?

  • kae_mar 13w

    Down in the valley

    I've been in the valley for so long
    The ground has changed
    It's boggy now, muck and sand
    I lost my shoes
    I've fallen, struggled to stand
    There's mud on my face but
    I can't feel it
    I just want to get out
    Free of this quagmire
    Which way is out?
    How do I get out?
    Can someone take my hand?
    No one is coming.


    ©kae_mar

  • kae_mar 26w

    Take me back

    I want to go to the park
    And sit on a low swing
    A little too small
    Drag my shoes in the dirt
    And think about
    Times of innocence
    Remember childhood freedoms
    And laughter.

    I want to go to the shore
    And sit just where the waves
    Don't reach
    Sift sand through my fingers
    And remember the hopeful
    Days of new adulthood
    Remember how big the world seemed
    Almost limitless.

    I don't want to sit at home
    Facing disappointments
    Thinking about
    All my failures
    Remembering childhood joys
    And youthful possibilities.





    ©kae_mar

  • kae_mar 28w

    Moody

    Mood one: Eek Omg huff huff
    Panicked, anxious breaths

    Mood two: Idon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcare!

    Mood three: . . ./Elevator music/Pause/Please hold for the next available emotion

    Mood four: Pfffttttt, shrug
    Nothing matters anyhow.



    ©kae_mar

  • kae_mar 29w

    Martians

    So many things
    In life I don't understand
    Chief among them are
    The ways of Man



    ©kae_mar

  • kae_mar 30w

    Resignation

    I've always felt
    I could die any time
    Any day
    And it'd be okay
    Maybe
    Because
    What's the point
    Of anything
    Anyway?



    ©kae_mar

  • kae_mar 34w

    Anonymity

    Sometimes I feel like
    I want to run away
    Away from everything
    And everyone I know.
    I feel, if I can lose myself
    Amongst strangers
    In a new place
    Where I've made
    No memories
    Where no one knows me
    I can better pretend
    Not to know myself.
    I can more easily bury
    Everything I know.
    I feel, I want a new self.
    I want to learn about her
    And come to love her
    A little more each day.
    I want to invoke
    Specific amnesia.
    I want to be anonymous
    Even to myself.

    ©kae_mar

  • kae_mar 35w

    Joie de vivre

    Something is draining
    My energy.
    There's a weight
    Pulling me down.
    I don't care.
    I don't want.
    I don't know.
    Listless
    Dispirited
    Apathetic
    Anxious.
    It's Life.
    Life is killing
    My will to live.

  • kae_mar 35w

    Being

    What is your purpose?
    Why are you here?
    What do you do every day
    That is worthwhile and worthy
    Of note?
    Who holds you in regard?
    Who is it who is grateful
    For your being?
    Do you see yourself?
    Are you pleased?
    Are you content?
    Are you satisfied?
    Are you glad
    To be you?

  • kae_mar 36w

    Trust me

    I tell myself a lie every day

    It's ok

    I'm ok

    I say

    But my mind is all awhirl

    Thoughts flurry

    Feelings swirl

    Anxiety

    Worry

    Regret

    I can't be calm

    My heart beats fast

    My patience snaps

    I'm angry

    I'm sluggish

    I don't want to do

    My favourites

    I pace rooms

    Touch things

    I'm restless

    'It's ok'

    I say

    I tell myself

    'You're ok'

    I lie to myself

    Every day

    ©kae_mar