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  • jennis 4w

    Receiving love

    Strange how we always talk about love
    And how every human loves differently
    We address we admire we love
    The different ways of expressing love
    But how
    How
    We never talk about different ways
    Of receiving that love
    Yes there are people who take care of the love
    Keep it safe in their little hearts
    And yes there are some clumsy people
    Like me who crave for love to touch
    Their skin and soul
    And doesn't know how to hug back
    Who longs for someone
    to take them for long rides
    But feel scare to hold that hand
    People like me take longer to accept that love
    We stare at it for long
    Long enough to believe it's presence
    To feel it in our hands
    Without realising that it's slipping away
    That it needs to be saved
    In our little hearts too
    And there are also people
    Who never care about the love
    They don't care if they have it in abundance
    Or less than the last drop of tear
    resting on their cheeks
    Without realising that they too
    Are alive for this love.
    ©jennis

  • jennis 30w

    Sapne or papa

    सपने तो सब देखते हैं
    बस पापा हाथ थाम उन्हें
    पूरा करने का साहस देते हैं
    मैं थक कर हार जाऊं कभी
    वो मुझे हार जाने पर भी प्यार देते हैं
    पिंजरे में बंद एक डरी हुई चिड़िया को
    खुदके पिंजरे से आज़ाद कर
    सपनों से सजा आसमान देते हैं
    वो पापा ही तो है जो अपने सपने भूल
    हमारी मीठी नींद के लिए
    राते काम कर निकाल देते हैं
    जो हल चल रहती है मन में
    एक डर जो आंखों में कैद रहता है
    प्यार से मेरा माथा चूम कर
    पापा उसे भी भुला देते हैं
    कहते है मैं गर्व हूं उनका
    जो मेरी हर छोटी से जीत
    पर प्यारी सी मुस्कान देते हैं।
    ©jennis

  • jennis 32w

    Younger self

    To my younger self,
    This is going to be fiddly
    Because you know in school
    You wrote letters to your family
    Bestfriend, cousins, the unknown editors
    But never learnt to write to yourself
    Thanks to the school for teaching me
    To tell them each time I'm doing good
    that I grew comfortable lying about myself
    But I failed to lie to you
    I know how you dreamt a beautiful life
    And I told everyone I'm working for it
    Only you knew that I'm not
    You changed plans for me
    Watched me lying
    more and more about them
    There were things I promised you
    I would never do but I did
    And there are things I promised you
    I'll do at any cost but I didn't
    I hurt you either way
    I broke your dream
    Moment by moment
    Day by day
    You kept knitting new dreams for me
    And I kept lying about them
    And years ago when l left you
    in old pages of the little pink diary
    And locked the drawer
    I thought I'll forget about you
    And you too with time will forget
    About Your dreams
    And now when I have this pen
    In one hand and the keys to the drawer
    In other, my fingers are shivering
    And my eyes are shedding tears of shame
    Because I know you were waiting for me
    And I'm here empty handed
    Lost in the other world
    Wondering if it's too late
    Or if still you can take me back?
    ©jennis

  • jennis 33w

    When the kind hearts bleed,
    Universe is watching the ones laughing.
    ©jennis

  • jennis 33w

    I remember last time when we talked, when I was on my knees holding onto to your red checked shirt and you said , "Don't make a scene it's not a big deal , people split up, nothing's forever " and I replied with " okay" and moved out of your room, your life, and maybe from your memories too.

    That night I said okay, but that wasn't all I wanted to say but it was all I could. That night I wanted to tell you that people breaking up isn't a big deal but you lying in my lap holding my face and telling me every night that I'm the most beautiful girl you ever met and still falling for someone else is a big deal.

    People breaking up isn't a big deal. I know. But you lifting my tee, pulling me closer and whispering in my ear that you would love to love me forever in these rainy nights and still leaving me all drenched in the torrents of your memories is a big deal.

    Yes. A big Yes. People breaking up isn't a big deal but taking every bit of love, a human heart could hold, with each little kiss and leaving someone
    with a big empty cavern unable to think of loving again is a big deal.

    You moving on with your life isn't a big deal. But never thinking back about the life we dreamt together walking on the unknown roads and promising to reach the destination together and you slowly pulling your fingers out of my hand , telling me you'll come back and leaving me alone in the horror of waiting on the roads , where I can't trust anyone to lift me up and walk me towards you is a big deal.

    And I'm still not okay with it.
    ©Jennis

  • jennis 34w

    कितना अजीब है ना इंसान
    जो है उसकी कदर नही
    जो था उसके लौट आने के
    सपनो में खोया है
    आज की खुशी भूल कर
    आने वाले कल की चिंता में
    पूरी रात रोया है।।
    ✨©Jennis

  • jennis 34w

    To the guy who texted me: I love you
    Lemme tell you that you'd stop
    When you'll see I'm not that pretty girl
    Your mother promised to find for you

    I'm not the one who would doll up for you
    I'd wear full sleeves clothes for weeks
    To hide the cuts I made when everyone slept
    For letting out the pain from my skin

    I'm not the one you thought
    Would walk in room and light up every face
    Because I'll be the one hiding back
    I don't like people or people don't like me
    It's something I still don't know

    I'm not the one
    with whom your FB pics would look good
    I'm that insecure one who won't let you
    Upload them because my forehead looks
    Too big or my arms too broad

    I am not the one whom you'll always find
    Cheering for you in the crowd
    But the one who'd stay up with you
    Working hard for it

    I'll never be the one in shiny dress
    Holding a drink and dancing with you
    But maybe the one who spends
    Entire night listening to your stories in pyjamas

    I'm not the one who'd prepare the fancy dinner
    Every night before you come home
    But the one whose half baked cookies
    Would make you smile

    I'm not the one who'll always be there
    Sleeping next to you in bed
    But I'll surely be the one whose lips
    You would miss everytime you kiss someone else

    I would never look like a trophy
    That you'll be happy to show to people
    Because I won't ever allow you
    Or anyone to ever own me

    I'm not the one caged in love
    I'll be the bird whose nest will be your arms
    I'll go to the places and come back to you
    But not always , would you still love me?
    ©Jennis
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    #poetry #poems #thoughts

  • jennis 36w

    Broken mirror

    I remember being very little ,
    when my grandma once said:
    Don't shout back at your uncle
    Just say yes to whatever he says,
    always say yes to the men
    If you wanna live a happy life
    To which I asked her:
    how will I be happy doing
    what others want me to do
    and she said
    "this is the problem with you
    and your modern girlfriends you can't find happiness in endurance"
    She continued,
    "A real woman never complaints , she accepts,
    She accepts the pain as the part of her existence
    The part that never lets her smile wide
    The part that stays behind her eyes
    The part that fills her mind with anger
    And her heart with love for others
    The part she knows her mother carried
    All her life and her daughter
    Will learn to carry it too
    And so will you my girl
    You'll learn the power of endurance
    And how to hide it beneath your beautiful skin"
    That night I promised myself
    To not become a woman like my grandma
    A few years later
    Now that I'm in my twenties
    Every night I tell myself that tomorrow
    I'll shout back
    That from tomorrow I won't endure this pain
    That tomorrow I'll text my bestfriend
    And tell her to stop crying
    Over the stupid pain given by that man
    Tomorrow I'll hold my uncle's hand
    Before it hits my aunt's face
    That tomorrow I won't ask my father
    To have lunch thrice or
    won't care if my brother had the milk
    Tomorrow I'll say no when I'll be busy
    But that tomorrow never comes
    And every night I fail to understand
    That it's broken mirror
    Broken promise
    Or broken me going to bed with pain.
    ©jennis

  • jennis 37w

    Do you ever feel like dialing their number
    Or going to their place shout ,yell , cry and just tell them they did wrong to you that it may right to the world but you were hurt..but then you know they still won't care and you will eventually make your peace with it with a song in ur heart and a big smile.
    ©jennis

  • jennis 37w

    Pandemic

    Nothing's same anymore , you no longer rush to catch the metro or reach office just a minute before your manager lose its last nerve. Instead you wake up, sit and pray that not today, please no bad news today and get the courage to step out of the sheet that held your emotions all night.
    You take slow steps and wish to see your mother in kitchen but she is still unwell , not worried for herself but for you, you wish to hug her and tease her in the kitchen but with heavy heart you make tea for her.

    You hear your father watching news , see the hundreds and thousands of people , helpless people crying, begging , praying to save lives of their loved ones. It breaks your heart. Their helplessness make you weak. You try not to think about them. You try and you fail. You try again and start hating the system, and you realise you too are the part of it.

    As you go through your social media , you see people helping each other making efforts to save lives , helping unknown people living a thousand kms away , just helping in whatever way they can. You feel happy a little relieved and then again your phone rings and someone close you know is fighting the battle or has closed their eyes crying for help. You lose your hopes again.

    With slothful fingers you turn off the lights and think of all the people you lost in just few days and couldn't wish them a last goodbye , you couldn't say sorry for all the unnecessary arguments , you couldn't thank them for all the laughs and couldn't hug your friends at most difficult times. These times scare you more at night, even the thought of losing your family or your bestfriends make your eyes red and watery.
    The pillow shares all your thoughts and wipes all your tears, even the ones that didn't fall.

    You again pray and sleep for better tomorrow. You wake up in the middle of night and run to check your parents. You again cry at those times I wish I could hug you and cry together.
    ©jennis