Feeding open wounds with words is a habit dont @ me please

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  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 55w

    @poetrydelivery @saishankar @writersnetwork @saswatbarry19 #pari_s @black_pearl_ #writingcontest #creativearena

    My mind is the only catfish,
    It likes to deceive people on a daily,
    As if it’s some kind of game,
    Win or lose I always pay the price,
    One cut two cuts three cuts,
    It becomes a habit,
    Four cuts five cuts six cuts,
    It’s a hobby,
    Seven cuts eight cuts nine cuts,
    It’s an addiction,
    Ten cuts eleven cuts twelve cuts,
    I don’t know when to fucking stop,
    I’m so deep within this world,
    I don’t even want to stop.

    It’s become my safe spot,
    My companion,
    My saviour,
    I’m so in love with this pain,
    Don’t get me wrong I am sane,
    But what do I have to gain,
    As it’s only a game,
    Between my mind and me,
    I swear you don’t give a fuck,
    So let me be,

    Dear mind,
    Just have mercy on me,
    don’t step out of your lane,
    Take my heart and take my souls,
    That’s the only things I have left,
    Keep it safe.

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    Dear mind,
    Just have mercy on me.

    (Read the caption)


  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 72w

    I know im a hypocrite but don't cut your skin,
    Its not a peice of lose string dangling from your clothing,
    Dont give up,
    Because your life isn't a game,
    Its more than that,
    Don't cry,
    Because your too beauty for that shit,
    Dont hide beneath that mask,
    Because you're hiding your natural self,
    When talking to someone with mental health issues,
    Thats what we get told
    But in reality,
    Cutting is our only escape,
    Cutting is the only way,
    In which we feel somewhat an accomplishment,
    Giving up is the only route we are familiar with,
    Crying is the only emotion that's our life companion,
    Crying is just a let out,
    What can i say im a pro when it comes to this and that,
    Then again don't judge a closed book.

  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 73w

    Im fine,
    I dont need help,
    Im good,
    I dont need to call the psychiatrist,
    I'm awesome,
    But i still have urges.

    My mind,
    Its like a black box,
    No way out,
    No matter how hard i try to get out,
    I can't because the only door it has,
    Is chained,
    And has extra padlocks for safety precautions.

    Now and then,
    That door opens,
    Without force whatsoever,
    And i feel neutral,
    No saddness,
    All my possible worries,
    Temporarily gone,
    I start walking towards the door,
    But out of nowhere,
    Without any warning whatsoever,
    I get thrown back in,
    And the door shuts,
    The chains intertwine into eachother,
    Padlocks secure the chains with just a turn,
    Then the key gets thrown.

    I go back to square one,
    Become a psycho in my own body,
    I get virtually tortured,
    Abused by my own mind,
    Whipped by my own feelings,
    But because of the endless times,
    My mind deceives me,
    I have no tears left to cry,
    No sympathy to give,
    No facial emotion to show,
    No screams of mercy to release,
    I am just an emotionless statue,
    Who has forgotten how its like,
    To actually give a fuck about herself,
    You're welcome though,
    Thats what you wanted and you'll get just that.

    @poetrydelivery @saishankar @writersnetwork @saswatbarry19 @mirakee #pari_s @black_pearl_ #colour @stygian_

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    I'm fine,
    I'm good,
    I'm awesome,
    I promise...

    (Read the caption)


  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 104w

    It took over me again,
    That thing,
    I always happen to let it,
    Its It's just the easiest thing to do,
    Letting it control me,
    Like the puppet i am,
    I just look at each part,
    My master alters,
    Each part of me,
    That changes,
    Within a gust of smoke,
    Im nothing but an old recipe,
    No use...
    Within seconds,
    It gets old and torn,
    Looked at then forgotten,
    Stepped on then gone,
    The same thing which happens with my hapiness,
    That's forever going to be gone.

  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 107w

    Each time i close my eyes,
    I'm honestly wishing,
    I never open then again,
    Never see the day light again,
    I'm just the black sheep,
    In a field full of white ones,
    The odd one out,
    The freak on the go,

    I try to talk,
    But nothing comes out,
    I try to fit in,
    But each time i try,
    I end up being ten times more different then i was,
    Which gives me another reason,
    To end my life,
    Another reason to cut,
    Another reason to give up.

    I'm just dangling from a rope,
    On a single stand,
    Because each weight on my shoulders,
    Have made the strands of string that makes up the entire rope snap
    It has given in,
    The remaining strand though,
    It can snap any minute,
    Then i wont have anything to hold on,
    Anything to keep me going,
    And this is out of my control...

    @poetrydelivery @writersnetwork @saswatbarry19 @mirakee #pari_s @writerstolli #caption

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    I try to fit,
    In but each time i try,
    I end up being ten times more different.
    (Read the caption)


  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 110w

    Is it possible,
    to be allergic to people,
    Because each time I try to socialize,
    I don't know what to do,
    What to say,
    And it's affecting me as a whole.

    Is it possible to constantly have an urge,
    And each time that urge appears,
    I have the need to accomplish it,
    Somewhat do what it wants me to do,
    Like a consecutive sheep,
    A slave,
    My mind is just bending,
    Through all this yet I'm pending,
    On this thin line defending,
    The last piece of me that remains,
    But it's a struggle.

    Is it possible,
    To have not one bit of happiness within me,
    Because I can't pin point one,
    And it's slowly killing me.

    Is is possible to be this good,
    At hiding all my pain,
    With a positive gesture,
    And never get caught,
    I mean a simple smile,
    Says alot,
    Yet that simple smile,
    Hides away agonising cries,
    Each laugh hides the fear I feel,
    And each smile hides the pain I'm feeling.

    If the definition of a freak is what I mentioned then,
    Is it possible to be a human freak,
    Because I'm gradually becoming one...

    @poetrydelivery @writersnetwork @saswatbarry19 @mirakee #pari_s @writerstolli

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    Is it possible,
    To be the way i am...
    (Read the caption)


  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 113w

    @poetrydelivery @writersnetwork @saswatbarry19 @mirakee #pari_s @writerstolli

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    I'm in a dark place,
    Surrounded by nothingness,
    Wherever I turn pure darkness,
    Each step I take,
    Leads me to nowhere but a dead end,
    There's no light left within me,
    It vanished a long time ago,
    Now I'm stuck in the middle,
    Watching from a side line,
    As each part of me breaks,
    Watching myself change into a freak I am,
    I'm stuck somewhere that I can't escape,
    Somewhere I'm not familiar with,
    And I'm beyond scared,
    Please help,
    I can't do this no more,
    My mind,
    It just hasn't made peace with me,
    And I don't know when it will...


  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 114w

    Mirror mirror,
    On the wall,
    Why are my feelings always bold,
    Each pain I feel its excruciating,
    Each tear is like the River Thames,
    Each emotion is like a puppet,
    Dominate to its master.

    Mirror mirror,
    On the wall,
    I'm under a spell,
    Which cannot be undone,
    Day in and day out,
    That spell is becoming stronger and stronger,
    And I'm becoming weaker and weaker,
    Yet this is happening faster and faster,
    Please make it stop.

    Mirror mirror,
    On the wall,
    Do I deserve this pain from them all?
    I don't feel any different,
    And nothing is comparble to it,
    You see I look at you,
    I can see the pain in the eyes of my reflection,
    The cries hidden in the smile,
    And the agonizing screams of mercy within each laugh,
    Tell me,
    What did I do to deserve this?

    Mirror mirror,
    On the wall,
    Would you be mad at me if I say,
    I hate that thing which looks straight back at me,
    Would you be mad If I say,
    I've given in,
    Because i have,
    I've been caught with something I shouldn't have many times,
    Yet I denied my way out of it always.

    Mirror mirror,
    On the wall,
    I wish I could change,
    But my mind Is forever going to he locked in a cage,
    And its never unleashing itself.
    @poetrydelivery @writersnetwork @saswatbarry19 @mirakee #pari_s @writerstolli

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    Mirror mirror on the wall my version

    (Read the caption)

  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 115w

    I'm useless.
    My life is not worth living.
    Fuck me fuck life.
    I'm not worth it.
    Nothing is going to get better.
    End your life.


  • inked_thoughts_of_mine 116w

    I don't know if i should be happy,
    Happy that im able to hide under my mask so well,
    Or just upset that I don't know how to stop it,
    Day in and day out,
    That mask,
    Becomes stronger than before,
    From paper,
    It turns to card,
    From card,
    It turns to wood,
    Then to concrete,
    Now its just made of something that's unbreakable,
    I've become so use to it now,
    So addicted,
    So drawn,
    That i don't know how to let go of that habit

    I've done it once,
    Cut till I bleed,
    I want to do it again,
    But im scared,
    I don't know why,
    It's not important,
    I'm not important,
    It's just,
    No-one knows what happens behid close doors,
    I cry and cry and cry,
    Thinking what will my next action be,
    Should I forfit?
    Give in?
    Kill myself?
    But who knows,
    It could be for the best,
    Well never know until I try...
    I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this,
    Because day in and day out,
    Life is becoming more harder to live,
    Giving me more reasons to kill,
    A soul who wishes shes no more,
    I'm just slowly giving in now,
    Accepting reality,
    I mean I'm no good,
    I just want attention,
    But my concentration,
    With people is off,
    And my reflection,
    Butter sweet,
    I mean I've cut a few times,
    The last time though,
    I bled,
    But it's not important,
    I'm fine,
    I just want attention.

    @poetrydelivery @saishankar @writersnetwork @saswatbarry19 @mirakee #pari_s

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    Read the caption, there are 3 poems but I split it so it'll be understandable when it's a new poem, hope you like, and don't worry I'm fine.