I leave, before people could leave me because leaving hurts more than losing. I can't love properly. So I've stopped trying because everytime I try, I fail and I end up hating myself even more. I can't explain. So I've stopped explaining myself because every time I try, the things become more intricate than before and I spend many of my nights thinking about them. I get attached too easily. So I've stop letting people to come closer because it hurts like hell when they leave without any reason. I chose to be obscured. So that no one can understand me because everyone judges you no matter what you are going through they don't even care.
And darling if you are still thinking that you know me so lemme correct you, "YOU DON'T...... " You don't even know a bit about me.
Something are just not meant to be together, just like that, Some stories are supposed to be left incomplete . So as ours,
but I had never thought that our story will end like this, neither I want our story to be in the book that no one reads. I only wished that our story to be made up of many
unexpected surprises adventurous road trips( I remember your love for travelling)and full of tragedy and love that brings tears to one's eye but those tears are of joy.
Unfortunately we can’t do anything. May be we are not meant for each other so destiny separate us but I don’t understand one thing why has destiny allowed us to meet if there’s no way for us to be together?
I looked at our old photographs together, and I remembered,
When we both walk hand in hand at night and suddenly when you put one of your hand on my shoulders in insecurities by seeing others to pretend I’m yours,
I remember that moment cuzz it was very difficult for me to hide that smile from you, which came automatically by seeing your cute wiggles, but but as you know am too good at hiding my feelings and you know what when you put your hand on my shoulders at that time I felt more safer.
I looked down at my hands , and I remembered,
How you had hold them in the late winter night , trying to keep them warm . I remember how your hands always felt warmer then mine and the way you used to confess your love for me with a smile.
When I saw our old conversations I remember
How I used to sleep between our those late night conversation and next day opens up my eyes with a good morning text from you. I remember that blushing face of mine after seeing your texts.
You remember when you used to say that “you are afraid of losing me” and with a smile in my face “I used to say that whoever is meant for you will never go away from you”. And and you know what is the reason behind that smile-“your unconditional love”. Your this much of love never allow to come the thought of separation in my mind, but see how destiny plays with both of us.
As you look at the sky above You will fall in love with dove To the moon shinning so bright That it makes everything alright!! The night was divine, as was she The day was hot, as was he The laughter was loud as was the silence Even the day was dark as was the violence Warm was her presence but chilled was her smile Hands in hands, let's go to a mile! He lost his paths into her eyes Her words has magic, some were truth, some were lies Their voids were filled, as if they were suppliments Her beauty was adorable as was his compliments, She is the art and God is the artist Well he..... Ummm he loves the art by the artist!!
That smile of yours made me approach you in a mysterious way. I never felt this before the way you said your name. We both were nervous at first, but this we started talking. Seconds converted into minutes and minutes into hours. Now I am totally addictive towwards you. I can't spend a day with kissing you, tasting your soft and wet lips. I love the way you say things to me, share everything with me. You look so cute wearing my hoodie. And I never thought someone like you is made for me. You really deserved the world baby, I love you baby.
There couldn't be a thing in this world that could replace you. Honestly you are the person from my dreams. I couldn't ask for something other than the angel that you are. How much can I possibly love you? I could ask myself that a thousand times and I wouldn't land you a real answer. The truth is that every other day that answer changes, because I love you even more as each day passes. That may be the only rational answer to that difficult question. I just couldn't bear to imagine myself without you as my confidant. My love for you is the only thing in this plain world that cannot express myself of how I feel.
For what you did to what you ignored For what you tried to what you learned For what you strived to what you received For what you dreamed to what you perceived For what you sacrificed to what you succeed For what you lost to what you won Mom, you've earned my respect not just for warmth but also for existing for what I have been to what I have seen I'm lucky to have someone who will be called as mother You've earned my appreciation not for what you have made me but for what you have done I'm thankful I might not be the one who obeys your every order but I will be the one who can support you in need I might not be the one who can fulfil your desire but I will be the one who you can depend upon I might not be the one who talks sweetly but I will not let anyone scream at you I might not be the one who sugarcoat things but I won't let my honesty hurt you I might not be the kind of daughter you prefer I might not be the one who can fulfil your expectation I might not be the one who can be your favourite And, I'm definitely not the kind of children you would want to have I would never be able to give the kind of warmth and love the way you deserve But, I will try to live even if it suffocates me to death, I will try to forget even if it keeps on roaming around my thoughts I will try to be a better human each passing day I will try to live as a human and not as a someone who just breathe