havic_reminders

wrecking havoc to remember myself

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  • havic_reminders 15w

    expectations
    i dont know whether to have any or not
    it always hurts when reality doesnt meet up with them
    perhaps i just need to have goals
    but those i can never seem to meet either
    maybe im destined for mediocracy and disappointment

    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 15w

    why does the new year never feel new
    it feels just the same as the one before
    its all just a myth to pretend that we grew
    or is it only that i havent grown anymore
    it appears that others think the time flew
    but my environment remained just as sore
    where only my thoughts could i prove to be true
    and through my plans the rest of the world tore

    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 19w

    I can’t wait to fail, it’ll feel so rewarding...

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    ive never felt more violated and fucked over in my life. i cannot even fathom how little care or remorse this motherfucker has for me. a teacher does not deserve that title if they cannot even manage to have a single ounce of patience or understanding for a student. the asshole has graded unfairly, switched up exam format and regulations last minute, blatantly lied about being considerate on exams to uphold some type of facade, and not listened to students questions to try and actually assist them properly. his teaching is all over the fuckin map as he will be writing about one subject and then stray onto a separate topic realizing he hadnt mentioned that yet. his book which he wrote, the one he assigned for this course, is written in exactly the same way; “so theres the introduction of this subject, but wait let me touch on these three subjects first in such a way that we cant see the connection that well, then return back to the initial subject but probably not picking up exactly where we left off.” flakey dumbass. the ego of this man regarding his position as a white man in a place where he is supposed to be influencing many students who have bright minds and futures is astonishing. imagine entering his class with hope and still leaving with it. i simply cant comprehend. the dude cant even remember that he told us the same dumb, unimportant and uninteresting story attempting to teach us a message on focusing on two separate occasions to the class. the story had such a letdown of a climax that it fell worse than an amy schumer joke. i wont torcher you with too many details of the story but long story short there was a protégée in a class of students and the teacher told them to look at a bird, then more birds joined, then the teacher told the students to count the birds and asked how many there were, and the protégée said there was one cuz the teacher told him to focus on the one bird that was there before the others joined. what a fucking boring ass, gullible, goody-two-shoes, teachers pet that protégée was. thats what i learned from the story; protégées are fucking boring and i dont want to be like that loser from the story. this story is a direct reflection of the lack of teaching ability i see in this motherfucking linear algebra teacher. what an unnecessary topic. i couldnt tell you what its use is, even tho it allegedly has one. although ive already called this guy out as a liar so he very well could be lying about the wide-spread use of linear algebra in the field too. the stubbornness of the dudes stance on how he runs the class is apparent when he gets pissed off about being online and not in person in front of a class of college students. very unprofessional. its okay to be frustrated but to verbally address it to a class of students and not apologize for getting angry is completely inappropriate. also, stating comforting things such as “this will be an easy class if you just do what youre supposed to do and i can help you through it” but not giving homework assignments that are reflective of the exam thus causing many to struggle and “if you turn in your homework late it will be okay because i wont grade until the next morning so long as you turn it in before i grade it” and then not accept my homework i turn in the next morning because he graded it so early in the morning that it was before the sun even set. getting back to his book, it wasnt supposed to be a required book for the course and he even mentioned helping students out if they couldnt pay for it. but when the homework is assigned directly from the book then yea im pretty sure that qualifies it as a requirement. he also never got back to me about the free version of the book so i was forced to spend my money on his book, which was never helpful in trying to decrypt topics i couldnt understand from his lectures. im pissed he got my money, let alone my money for the fucking useless class. i should sue him lol. but he would have a university behind him who wants their students to fail and retake classes so they get their money and deletes professor reviews so that students dont know professors such as this bastard are somehow teaching under their “prestigious” organization. for an educational system that in my opinion should value sharing knowledge with the people they really like to withhold important information from those who choose to pay thousands of dollars to get a piece of paper that says theyre smart, but is actually saying “haha we got ur money fuck you!!!” if they actually cared about the quality of the education they were providing this asshole wouldve been fired ages ago. actually he probably wouldnt have even gotten the job to begin with. i legitimately wonder how he did manage to get hired and work his way up to his current position. probably had to do with money and research opportunities, as all college professors purposes for teaching at a university lie somewhere in there as well. at least those in a more academic field like math, finance, engineering, sciences, health, and medicine. the arts programs could not even survive without the best personalities at the helm of the boat. they are absolutely flourishing even during a world-wide shutdown as they possess the most flexible, persistant, and understanding minds in the world. my linear algebra teacher could never. the stubborn asshole cant even make a decision on which platform to host his scuffed online lectures and decides to switch over to a different one three hours before an exam. a platform that of course doesnt allow my camera to work which meant i was kicked from the exam since i was “unsupervised” and promptly received a zero. i was furiously sending emails to the chubby bastard saying that i could see the original program we were using could record me while im taking the exam and he could review that later and when that wasnt allowed that maybe i could join back on if i figured out how to activate my camera and when that was denied i just did the exam and turned it in fully explaining my predicament and how i cant get a zero and that i understand if he cant give me full points but trying to bargain for partial credit. no response to that last email. he just gave up and straight up gave me a zero. the unfair circumstances that i have been through in this course do not end there. the difficulty of his homework assignments are incomprehensible. i signed up for a tutoring session for the very first time in my life (what a motherfucking toll that took on my smartass megamind bigbrain ego) and they couldnt help me with his homework because it delved into the topic in such a strange and unconventional way. i got a zero on that homework assignment. another fucking zero. on an assignment i met with a fucking linear algebra tutor to try to learn how to do. i shouldve known at that point that this class was utterly unfair. i couldnt even get a new perspective on the subject to try and learn the material because his class was geared in such a way that strictly followed his methods that it was impossible to get any outside assistance. and i hope ive made it clear enough already that i cannot follow his methods. it was simply useless for me. i was destined to fail. and im so fucking pissed about it that i dont care. know the feeling? its like im numb. because i absolutely am stuck and cant find a way out. i have given up on this course. im bot sure that i will show up for the final exam because(lol im too broken to do the exact math on that yet) but im pretty sure i cant save my grade at this point. oh well, its too late for me. anything else i try will be in vain. i almost want to fail knowing that its been entirely this fuckers fault and almost none of mine. ive been fucked over unlike ever before.


    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 29w

    here i am again
    stressed and pissed
    a feeling of anxiety
    jittering throughout
    worried about things
    i can’t even help
    just wanting to live
    feeling free to be myself
    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 31w

    don’t stress

    just bless


    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 41w

    this social distancing is simultaneously an introvert’s dream come true and worst nightmare

    this is because no one will come up to you without permission

    but also no one will come up to you without permission

    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 41w

    why should i feel ashamed

    of something i like to do

    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 41w

    everyone’s a hypocrite

    no exceptions

    me included

    let’s just all try to be honest about that

    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 41w

    it’s a shame that beauty is often associated with naïvety

    not for the one that is beautiful

    but for those who are blinded by that beauty

    because they are unable to see the easy manipulation within the calculating mind of that beautiful human

    ©havic_reminders

  • havic_reminders 42w

    isn’t it okay if i want to save some things for myself and not share them with the world?

    ©havic_reminders