hamallaxmi

laxmi-hamal123.medium.com/

Firstly, try to learn to make yourself happy.

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  • hamallaxmi 15w

    What should i tell about when there is gushing thoughts every now and then. The mind has no rest to settle with the running thoughts. The Chaos are overlapping each other with multiple organic disorders. Each organ diluting itself slowing one after other.

    I can say i have been ignoring almost everyone from my life, most importantly friends. have you ever felt that the people you have given your heart out, almost everything to the one person or that one friend who was very dear to you? And all they do is play fair in front of you and bark behind on you.

    People say life doesn't give second chances but the question here is even if there’s a cent percent chance will you be willing to take that? Most of the times we might end up refusing but most other times we definitely will be taking that chance irrespective of what the struggle would seem like. Similar is the case of life and love without being there for each other they won’t survive. Just imagine the life without love in it? with who would you share things to? who would you tease to? who would you fight with? who would you laugh with? with whom would you share your first ride? or imagine a love without life. Isn’t that so sick to even think about it?

    There are times we feel that we have everything with us as we have that perfect Job, family to support, friends to care and life with no struggle. But when the day comes knocking your door with the empty hand and you will have nothing to give. How would you give the day when you yourself don’t have anything except the dark looming picture up on the ceiling and the emptiness filled with chaos, anxiety and stress. Sometimes even after having everything nothing feels good.

    I tried everything from reading to cooking and from meditation to volunteering. Believe me nothing worked. Not a thing. Instead i lost interest in everything. From friends to family, from books to arts. What i never ever lost interest in is traveling. The moment i take a time to even think about it every place gets in front of my eyes. Making me seeking more of it. But pandemic has ruined it all. That will stay forever making it more.

    I am really not sure how things will turn out to be in future but i will try traveling more often because that's the only way i “HOPE” i can heal myself.

    Do let me know your secret of healing.

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    Running Thoughts

    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 22w

    Mask

    The first time I hear people
    Say mask up your self
    The word stuck on my head
    Was suffocation.
    But to my realisation
    Mask was just a peace of
    Cloth
    Real devil is covid
    As it enters our body
    It rules perfectly
    Without giving us a chance
    To listen to our plea
    And nothing will not be in our hands
    Until you mask yourself
    Sanitize yourself
    Let not virus enter your border.

    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 22w

    Origami

    I always fascinated by your creativity
    Of making an art
    I remember when we were 11
    You gave me two piece of paper
    With red in colour and it was in very
    Strange shape
    And you say me make an origami
    With this
    You ask me to think those two pieces
    Of paper as broken heart
    As you say to fix that origami heart
    Then only I have your heart.
    As I figured completing the heart.
    That spark in ur eyes triple with the
    Happiness and you hug me.
    That was my strangest yet bestest origami
    Birthday present.

    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 22w

    Autumn

    She loves being free
    Free from the world of grief
    Sometimes twirling and embracing
    Her embarassment and like consuming
    the kesar thandai with the sprinklers
    Of rose petals.
    Making it ease for being strayed
    In the Woods
    Making distant land a sweet home
    Painting with the delicate hands
    To Full of life
    Kissing the wild flowers a good bye
    Returning to the adventoures journey
    Of mind mapping and
    Resting on your faith of
    Creating
    Love, hope and magic
    With the very own delicacies
    You have been wearing within you
    As how you become agile
    And restless upon the
    Love showered on you.

    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 23w

    I know this journey of process
    Is becoming more and more unyielding
    At one point it seems worthy a risk
    But the other moment it seems more
    Of a tormenting pain and unrealistic
    Every nerve filled with the restlessness
    And hopelessness hovering over the
    Diaphragm.
    My whole system collapsing in the very
    Verge of its existence.
    The anxious me searching desperately for the
    Love in the places And littlest things
    Of someones cold arms

    Read More

    Journey

    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 23w

    Transformation is not a one day or few hours
    Process
    it takes months to form a baby
    It takes year to become
    A tree from a small saplings
    Making a home
    It takes long enough to become butterfly
    From
    The very cocoon of caterpillar
    Even the hai doesn't grow over night
    It takes months together.
    Change is the only constant
    With transformation the world
    Wouldn't be a better place.

    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 23w

    There are thousands of
    Contemplation gushing
    Over my membrane
    Emotionally black mailing
    My heart
    Not to take my side
    And it has been frozen since
    Long not wanting to Be named
    And my whole body starts hibernating
    Finding it's happy space.
    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 23w

    There was a time when you
    To click lots of pictures
    With me
    But I would just refuse
    Saying that none
    Of these will really matter
    Until I am there in your heart.
    You see it's been months
    I do remember the picture we clicked
    In these mirror reflecting us
    That that pictures were perfect
    How that moment was perfect
    Was we have seized in the lens
    Of our cameras
    But now everything of it gets blurry
    The moment we spent
    Those laughter
    That tapri wali chai
    I do remember things
    We did but I don't remember
    Clearly
    You see everything starred fading away
    Is it because of you have moved on
    Or I tend to forget evey possible thing
    For answers you looking in me
    I really don't have.
    I no longer remember your face
    Its all blurry
    And some days I just
    Somehow recollect that
    Face of your
    I get scared
    Scared
    So much that I
    Close my eyes
    And ears and scream
    Scream untill everything fades away.
    I have developed this phobia
    Called pistanthrophobia.
    I am on such verge of life
    That I can't even trust my own self
    You have shattered every Piece of mine
    And throttled until it became the pool
    Of blood.
    .
    .
    .
    #iconography

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    I am on such verge of life
    That I can't even trust my own self
    You have shattered every Piece of mine
    And throttled until it became the pool
    Of blood.

    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 23w

    Light house

    A group of invader attacks
    In the middle of the ocean
    When the strom hit hard
    The cyclonic currents
    Drowned us into the sea
    As everything grew darker
    Only hope of ray was light
    From the light house
    I bounced back to
    One of the wooden twig
    Sailed through the waves
    And reached the bay.

    ©hamallaxmi

  • hamallaxmi 23w

    I
    Am
    Quiet
    And I love
    Being in solitude
    Like the tree who never
    Complains about the heat
    Weather conditions hurricanes
    Earthquakes storm Tsunami cyclone
    No matter what goes in my head and heart
    I tend to handle alone, no one being by myside
    On ly
    My te
    ars be
    ing wi
    Th Me
    By my
    Si de
    Fl aw
    Le ss
    ly be
    ing both strength and weakness in all times of hard ship & happiness without judging me.


    ©hamallaxmi