gelukzoeker

~the worst thing that i ever did,was what i did to me~✨❤️

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  • gelukzoeker 2w

    This feels incomplete, just like me without you?
    Ah whatever.

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    At a very young age,
    I learnt to fix things I didn't break,
    Like mending hearts I didn't shatter,
    stitching the scars,
    I wasn't responsible for.
    ©gelukzoeker

  • gelukzoeker 5w

    Yes, I'm alive and somewhere in between.
    Hope y'all doing good❤️
    @miraquill thankyou for the feature again❤️

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    You made me feel everything i believed love was.
    ©gelukzoeker

  • gelukzoeker 10w

    I'll probably not blame myself for what happened to you, because that is something I promised to someone who is kind of what you were and will always be to me.

    When you left, you took away everything.
    Hours feel like days, days feel like months, months feel like years and everything is still the same, just that you're not there to make it any different,
    cause you were the only one who could.
    It gets heavy and I've no idea what to do now.
    How did you make it so easy for me?
    How did you took away the heaviness that suffocated me?
    You were always there,
    holding onto me,
    never left my side,
    Even when we had our stupid fights or
    Even on the nights I pushed you away,
    You held me like the light in the darkness.
    I had you, all of you and now,
    I have just the memories,
    which we don't make anymore.

    You're the reason i know love,
    You taught me what love is,
    You taught me how to love,
    You showed me what its like to love someone without any expectations.
    You taught me that you don't give up on the people you love.

    //I gave up on myself, while you never did.//

    How could you be the only one that made everything better, not temporarily but permanently.

    //Sometimes I think the universe was jealous of us, and that's why it took you away from me.
    Because in this temporary world, we were a forever, weren't we?//

    You're the reason I look up at the sky and cry a little more, cause somewhere out there,
    i know you're there too.
    I try not to look up anymore,
    But
    I still do,
    Cause whenever I look up,
    I feel like you're looking at me too and in that moment, I feel whole.
    -gelukzoeker

    #left @miraquill @writersnetwork

    Take care dear reader❤️

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    You're the reason i know love,
    You taught me what love is,
    You taught me how to love,
    You showed me what its like to love someone without any expectations.
    You taught me that you don't give up on the people you love.





    //Sometimes I think the universe was jealous of us, and that's why it took you away from me.
    Because in this temporary world, we were a forever, weren't we?//

    ©gelukzoeker

  • gelukzoeker 15w

    I can let go of you, I think.
    But how can I let go of the way your hands fit in mine,
    You,
    being the missing piece of my puzzle.
    How do I forget the sound of your laugh that used to light up my dullest day.
    How do I make myself understand that I can't look at you the way my heart desires.
    How do I stop feeling what I feel for you,

    //How do i make my heart understand that it can't love you anymore//

    That it needs to let you go for it to heal.
    But it won't, it loves to love you.
    It loves to be in love with you even when it can't get your heart in return.

    ~It's fine with being the only one in love~
    All I ever wanted was for you to look at me the way I look at you,
    All my heart ever wanted was to love you forever
    and a little more than that,
    All I ever wanted was you to love me the way I did,
    even if it was a little,
    It would have been more than enough.
    A little love was all I asked for.

    All my heart wanted was your heart in return of mine.
    -Gelukzoeker

    You can't make someone love you.

    And ahahahhahah idk what is this.
    Just a rant.

    @writersnetwork and one more time.
    all you do is like and run away
    Surprise me, for once.

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    How do i make my heart understand that it can't love you anymore?

    That it needs to let you go for it to heal.
    But it won't,
    It loves to love you.
    It loves to be in love with you even when it can't get your heart in return.


    //It's fine with being the only one in love//

    ©gelukzoeker

  • gelukzoeker 18w

    @sse7enn
    I'll start with the very first impression you made-
    Huh this guy is a smoker and looks like he has no intention to quit.

    Yes that was the first thing.

    At the very start, we never really talked and then one day, you're gone.
    You deleted all your posts and then after awhile decided to start again I guess.
    We just read each other and nothing else.

    Now this is something I never told you,
    the thing that really got me, that made me interact with you more,
    was the post you wrote about panic attack.

    It got me, it got me real bad.
    I somewhat know how it feels and that was the time I was like you don't deserve this.
    It's unfair, you go around making everyone laugh but only few do that back.
    But that's how this started❤️

    From Aditi to Adi to DR to DBR,
    From Dipanshu to Dip to D to DB to BDB to CBDB (Ah😂👀) it was big long ride.

    And this is CBDB day today, so how can i just let it be?
    Happy birthday CBDB❤️
    Calling by your name now sounds weird after CBDB😂
    Happy birthday to the guy who compares his hotness with the Sun🤦🏻‍♀️💀

    You are one of the sweetest guy I know here,
    You think you're smart, but lemme tell you,
    You are dumb more.
    But it's a good thing.
    To be dumb and a kid at heart,
    You're someone who showed me that happiness can be found even in the smallest things.
    You have a heart of a kid,
    And the strength of batman.

    You're the book
    That's filled with lame ft funny jokes.

    Even in the darkest times,
    Even when you thought you wouldn't survive
    You survived.
    I know at times you feel like you're all alone,
    that you have no one, that maybe this is the end, just know that it's not.
    You'll never be alone as long as DBR is with you, and I'm always with you.
    And by now, I know that you just don't let anyone in, cause that's how the world made you and it is okay.

    Remember the day i thanked you?
    The reason was, when i saw your text, i was crying and that time you made me smile.
    By those silly stupid jokes that you never stop with.
    So thank you.

    It's okay to be scared.
    It's okay to feel alone.
    It's okay to feel what you feel.
    It's just a matter of time and then everything will be fine, it's fine eventually.

    You're such a strong guy CBDB and everyone who knows you, they are all proud of you.

    Hotness ka title toh sun le hi chuka hai ab🤷🏻‍♀️

    From,
    Half cup of tea.
    ( That's the dumbest name anyone could ever give me, but it's so sweet😂❤️)

    Excuse me cause i suck at wishes.

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    @sse7enn

  • gelukzoeker 18w

    I advice y'all to skip this one.


    ~my favourite memory of you~
    My favourite memory of you,
    It's not the regular type,
    The ones that are common.

    it wasn't when i saw you for the very first time that my heart skipped beats,
    the way it danced and
    forgot how to breathe for that few moments because You, was all I could see.

    It wasn't when we had that first kiss,
    when we ended up hugging thrice
    instead of just going for it.
    It was me who hugged you when you leaned in for the kiss.
    I know I was stupid.

    It wasn't when we hugged for the first,
    when i was wrapped in your arms for the first time, that the weight the world had put on me, came off.
    That's when I knew what heaven felt like.
    It was the moment you held me.

    Not the time where i caught you looking at me that you looked away,
    only to look back again and saw me staring at you too.

    Not even the one where you tried to come in my hoodie, at 3 am in the night,
    which made me ticklish that I ended up laughing.
    So you kissed me to stop that loud laugh so that my sister sleeping next room doesn't wake up.

    Or the time when we checked whose hands are bigger and you got the name of baby elephant for those small hands.

    Or the time you finished the icecream just like a little kid.

    It wasn't when i realised that your eyes were not just dark brown eyes, they were the deepest dark brown eyes that i don't mind drowning in again.

    But
    It was the time you held my hand while we were walking that day,
    tho it wasn't the first time.
    8th February,2021.
    I clearly remember that day.
    You held my hand, our hands were so sweaty and you still didn't let go.
    You didn't let go, not even for a second.

    It's my favourite memory because I felt safe.
    Something no one ever made me feel.
    After all these years, i just wanted to feel safe.
    There were eyes staring, and I wasn't scared.
    I wasn't scared for the first time.

    I felt safe, for the first time and it was with you.
    With my hands locked in yours,
    I felt nothing to be scared of and no one can harm me.

    That's all I wanted to feel,
    Safe and that's what you made me feel.

    That's what you make me feel.

    You are and you will,
    always be my safe place.

    ~gelukzoeker

    Take care❤️

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    And for the first time I felt safe,
    And it was when you held my hand.
    ©gelukzoeker

  • gelukzoeker 19w

    That's how it started.
    I sat in the corner and i cried.
    I cried for the girl

    ~who gave up on trying~

    for she was always healing others
    while

    ~no one even tried to be there for her~

    I cried for the girl,

    ~who never wanted to grow up this early.
    the girl~

    ~who always disappointed people~

    no matter how hard she tried.
    The girl they made feel,

    ~that being her,
    wasn't good enough~

    and will never be.
    She gave up on trying
    without giving up on any one she loved,

    ~she gave up on herself~

    Every time she tried to fix something,

    ~she made it worse~

    They never apologized for hurting
    but she

    ~apologized for being hurt about it~

    Every time you think someone loves you,
    they prove you wrong,
    that they just needed you for awhile,
    It's like they are travelling and
    they decide to take a break.
    That break is you.

    //I'm drowing but I've learnt the art of holding my breath//

    They say time heals,
    but the truth is, you get used to it,
    you get used to the scars people gave you,
    you get used to being alone until one day it comes back and then next moment you don't know where you are but just like it came,
    It goes away,
    //Just like the nightmare you thought you'd never survive, you survive this too//

    ~ gelukzoeker

    I don't know what this is,
    Can be ignored.
    Take care❤️

    #redpurple

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    And she felt that,
    Being her will never be good enough.




    ~and while drowning,
    She learnt the art of holding her breath~



    ©gelukzoeker

  • gelukzoeker 20w

    #youarec
    First one ig?
    And this is idk.

    #gelukliners

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    You are the sun that came
    while i was drowning in the dark.

    But you are also the sun
    that left when it got dark.
    ©gelukzoeker

  • gelukzoeker 21w

    I'll love you even when it'll hurt,
    I promise❤️


    #shitalert #blah

    #gelukliners

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    I'll love you even when it'll hurt,
    Because hurt is all I've ever known.
    ©gelukzoeker

  • gelukzoeker 21w

    I was just your another promise,
    that was meant to be broken.
    ©gelukzoeker