fajr_fajr

tellonym.me/fajr__

you never really know someone.

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  • fajr_fajr 1w

    It gets better. It does.

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    It's 3 am.

    I stare right through my ceiling

    and into the pitch black sky.

    There's a cascade

    streaming down my face,

    moonlight enlightens my eyes and

    they glitter with love.

    Love, that was too much for you to

    handle.

    I tend to look around but there's

    nothing but deafening silence.

    I scream into my pillow to kill the

    silence, but my voice echoes in the

    fabrics of pad and dies.


    Lovers are finally fading

    after bearing years of pain,

    Nobody cares anymore

    So why do you?

    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 3w

    Maybe temp. Maybe not.

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    // LEFTOVERS //

    There are words i wish i would've said , and people i wish i would've met. On evenings when guilt fills my throat, and i choke on your memories, i wish i could spill all the blood on the book i read last night. There are leftovers of you on my bedsheet, they cut me open like a blade. Come and get them soon.


    // LULLABIES //

    The worst part about you is that you don't mean alot of things you tell me, and i close my eyes and listen to your stories like a kid. Then? Then i walk down the memory lane and cry myself to sleep.


    // SERENE SILENCE //

    It's so hard to believe when you tell me you love me, because all i have is silence to offer and insecurities ripping me apart. Why would you fall for silence and name it peace. It's wrecking my nerves.


    // 13 WORLDS APART //

    I catch myself sitting and thinking about you constantly, i no longer can focus on a single act, the sky looks beautiful for 13 minutes, there are 13 reasons why i lay on bathroom floor bleeding, 13 people that are about to die any moment, 13 stars in a parallel line since 13 years, we used to gaze at when we were 13, but i was replaced within 13 days.

    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 4w

    // It tears me up
    when you turn me down
    I'm begging please
    Just stick around. //

    -Love is gone.

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    You held me like you'd hold me
    forever,

    And loved me like it'll last till eternity,

    Little did i know,

    our love is fading as time passes by,

    And from

    "you matter"

    to

    "nothing matters anymore" ,

    the journey of love ended in pain.

    // Two strangers who own each other's heart. //


    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 6w

    Non sense. I feel sad.
    Okbye.

    I love rain. Just not right now. Not right now.

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    Does rain bring melancholy?

    Or is it you, looking for reasons to shed tears along with clouds?

    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 6w

    Endings.

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    But the sad part is, even if we go back in time, we wouldn't belong to each other anymore.

    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 7w

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    My ribs are made of anxiety,

    and the muscle that bleeds pain,

    is made of your memories,

    i lay on my couch,

    like a dead poem,

    fighting the urge to cry,

    When a random 6 am memory hits me,

    it's you,

    your voice,

    deep whispers,

    and the promises of forever

    that hurt every single atom i own.

    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 7w

    Is my silence too quiet? Is the pain not prominent enough?

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    You pass my street everyday, like that old library you used to visit daily, like an open book waiting for you, but you don't stay to read anymore.

    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 8w

    I write bullshit when my heart aches.

    Yeah stfu. Thanks.

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    I've mastered the art of silence.

    All my life,

    I've been speaking, screaming, sobbing silently.

    I've been drifting away from people.

    I've been leaving places.

    People i loved hard.

    Places I built homes in.

    I've been fading away.

    In silence.

    I've been disappearing.

    In silence.

    I've been living through my tragedies.

    In silence.



    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 13w

    Another rant.

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    On days when I crave your presence,
    love leaves few bruises,
    the clouds bleed pain,
    my veins circulate hurt,
    few scars kiss my wrist,
    and my soul is shattered into two separate halfs.
    One half screams your name,
    the other half remains silent,
    slowly creating poetries that are left incomplete.
    My eyes shed galaxies,
    since they cannot meet yours.
    Your love healed me,
    only to break me all over again.
    While i sit and question my worth in your life,
    You dance on my wounds.
    Leave cuts that are deeper. Scarier. Eternal.

    Love for me is selflessness,
    Love for me is hurting for them but
    still not returning the bullet wounds.

    While i fight the urge to break,
    I sleep through the worst of nightmares,
    The caution tapes around my heart,
    Were never decorated to keep you out.
    The walls that i built around,
    Were there to protect something
    That still beats, bleeds, and buries blue memories.

    -fajr

  • fajr_fajr 13w

    @writersnetwork
    Thankyou👀❤️
    This was so random.

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    I wiped the last tear,
    held my brush,
    tried painting you.
    But destiny had some other plans
    I forgot your face.
    The only thing i could remember was
    the touch of your soft hands,
    the taste of your lips,
    the warmth you brought with that one embrace,
    how do i portray all this.
    How do i manage to lock my love for you in this empty white canvas.
    I angrily threw all the colors on the canvas, tried decorating them with my clumsy hands.
    Colours like blue. Grey. White. Black.
    It looks nothing like you, but the abstract art is all about feels.
    The random colours feel exactly like your heartwarming presence and your heartwrenching absence.
    I've lost the privilege to
    touch you. feel you. love you.
    So i cover the distances from my soul to your soul through words and colours.
    I hide you in my poetries and lock you in my messy canvases.
    You left ages ago, but I'm making you stay on my own way.

    -fajr