I'm stuck here in my silence unable to stop my heart
from leaking out this pain, I'm beginning to fall apart.
I don't know what I did to have so much in my life go wrong
I wonder if i will ever get to the place where my heart feels I belong.
no one knows the depth of my sorrows or how hard it is to keep up the fight
or the strength it takes to fake a smile almost every single night.
no one understands me but really I don't need them to
all I've ever loved is locked away and I can't find myself until the day he is home to.
I've been trying to fix the aching and the loneliness
but all I want is not here, I'm barley coping with this mess.
why does it always happen, why can I never find my happy place
why do I go through all this hurt always waiting for his warm embrace.
nights are cold and lonely I have a million thoughts run through my head,
I cry silent tears from my eyes alone in this empty bed
when nothing in the world ever goes good and nothing's ever right
how do you keep your head up and not give up the fight.
where do I go when my mind is telling me to give in
how does no one notice that I'm faking it,I'm tired of never catching a win.
for once in life I wish that I came before them all
but I know it's just a dream and still I wait for him once more.
maybe this will be the last time
I pray for that day to finally come
for him to want us more and finally see this lifestyle isn't a happy one.
sometimes he gives me hope but really it's nothing but a thought
because he sits alone in jail now we're both prisoners awaiting our sentence when he goes to court.
when the judge hands out our sentence, once we've done our time
I hope he finally realises it's time to give up the crime .
if love is what he has for me then I should be his first choice
not burried in the shadows and my opinions not be voiced.
love is only one part of a relationship there are more things that make one last
I hope he sees the beauty of life once this is all in our past.
I want happiness and photographs of times spent with our family and friends
I want BBQs and bonfires, not drugs, crime and deadends
if he does not choose us over all of this pain
I know that I have no other option but to leave him as I can't do this all over and over again