WARNING: THIS IS A VENT POST
You could have just told me you hated me..
That you didn't want me.
Need me
Or loved me.
But why did you ever tell me you did?
Why why why why why whhhhyyyyyy
To break my heart?
To leave me here shattering to pieces once I realised that yes! It was all just a lie. That it was all fucking FAKE.
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BREAK MY HEART?
WAS IT NECESSARY?
DID YOU HAVE TO GO THIS FAR?
DID YOU HAVE TO KILL ME INSIDE?
UNTIL I COULDN'T BREATHE.
UNTIL I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY FUCKING NIGHT.
UNTIL MY HEART BROKE INTO PIECES AND BLED AND MY CHEST HURT LIKE HELL.
Tell me.. did you have to make it so hard for me to just breathe now..?
Did you have to break me.. like this?
Did you have to.. leave me bleeding and hurting? And breaking to pieces?
Did you have to lie to me.. tell me you loved me.. when you absolutely didn't give a fuck about me..
When I finally believed that lie and fell for you.. you had to leave me. Because it wasn't ever true.. your promise that you'd stay because no.. why would you.. you never even wanted me.
Now I wish I could say fuck you to your face. But how can I? Because even though yours was a lie.. mine was not. I did love you. Immensely. With all of what I had in me.
And then you broke me.
YOU BROKE ME.
©dreamer_4
#venting
330 posts-
dreamer_4 2h
-
Troubled
Pissed off with myself
Trying to get off from your thoughts
But stuck
Cause I have attached you to
Everything
Around me.
©jazzpanda -
For my ex
I am not scared of you. I am afraid of what you'll do to ones I care for. I'm not emotionless nor mentally ill.. I AM SOMEONE WHO GIVES EVERYTHING TO OTHERS TO MAKE THEM SMILE. I'm nothing like you.. So stop.. Your not a dictator anymore.. You just a simple girl who needs help.
©moodswingchild -
in_fragments 14w
"Time keeps moving on too fast.
Everyone I love just keeps getting older.
We are all dying. We are all so decrepit.
I just want to be held like a child again.
My mind keeps moving on too fast.
Nothing is real, and minutes don't pass
properly inside of me.
I am stuck in so many different places.
You stole my past and ruined my future.
The present is hanging on
by a razor-thin, weakening thread.
I just want to be safe again, clean again,
innocent again.
My childhood is missing.
Why am I not allowed back there?
I don't remember what any of this feels like.
It all seems unattainable,
like some distant memories I've let rot
and left to be forgotten.
Why did I have to forget?
Time marches on so unjustly, so unfairly.
Time saw what happened to me,
it saw them destroying me
and did nothing but pass to haunt me.
If time was never on my side,
is there any reason why I'm still alive?"
©in_fragments
~~~~
In an abusive relationship with time.
#pod #poem #trauma #venting #cptsd #abuse #time #thoughts @mirakee @writersnetwork @writersbayTime/No Time
We are all so decrepit.
I just want to be held like a child again.
©in_fragments -
Seems like the
only time people care
is if you
accomplish something
©mrsalikattyoung -
Hypocite
"Hes a druggy, he does drugs. Let me take my medication" -
Sarcasm
"Oh so sneaky " -
This aint the way to live.
When you want to work out or go to the gym
But you dont have the energy to do it.
And you cant work because your head always bugs you.
Thinking people are being sneaky
Or people who u seen from last jobs with their appearance being different.
So instead u sit and smoke and get fatter
Just waiting for the floods or more fires to come.
Knowing you wont be able to lift yourself back up when it happens. -
I Guess i never really had friends
Even though i use to considered everyone i was friends with as sister and brother.
I guess my image of them was different to their image of me.
And now i feel like noone can get my trust anymore
Noone can get my love anymore
Noone can get my loyalty anymore
Because its always "in the wrong hands." -
I built a house over the years
An I painted it nice an layered down strong foundation
I planted pretty flowers an grew vegetables in my garden
I had a swing to watch over the world as it passes me
Overtime I had to keep repainting it
Overtime the rope deteriorates
Overtime the wood falls apart
The flowers wilted time an time again
My garden rotted every year
An overtime I lost motivation to try
But time an time again every year I keep painting
I keep replacing the wood an ropes
I keep planting pretty flowers an vegetables
An I keep swinging watching the world pass me by
An you look an say how pretty my house looks every year but you never asked to come inside
But I wouldn't want you to anyways because you will realize my house isn't as pretty as you thought
©jabberwolkii -
Tonight the only sound is my heart pounding to the bed
I felt nothing before that an I sit beside nothing to look at
The vitamins i take I wonder if it's actually more love then minerals
Loving myself gets so lonely when I have so many others biting at me
I don't expect anything anymore but silence
Just quiet isolating silence to burrow into forever
©jabberwolkii -
Its bin years
Getting over someone you thought was gunna be "the one" is hard as fckk.
Its bin years but her name still rings in my ears
With everyday having flash backs to my smiles when i seen her smiles.
My laughs was based on the jokes i made just to try to get her to laugh.
And if she laughed thats what made me laugh.
Imagine introducing someone to ur mom, then having ur mom say what happened to "this person"
And wishing u had the answer to reply with but even u didnt know why she left.
Imagine someone matching your vibe
Matching ur soul
Then the next day not even speak to u .
Like u dont exist.
Just imagine your at a poker table and u bet all in but the bet u put all in wasnt your money. It was your heart and soul. .... and u lost .
Now its bin years
And every now and then i still cant get over that at some point i was by ur side, walking u home. -
I never win knowingly
I wish i knew that i was going to reconnect with her.
Then maybe i coulda had time to prep up what to say.
But then the time came
And all i had in my head was negativity from past trama.
And that drove her away..
...again.. -
DEMONS WITHIN
Trapped and confined
Inside an unbalanced mind
Sabotage and destruction profound
Deranged thoughts are often found
So many demons within
Unsure of where I end
and the demons begin
Regret and loneliness dwell
Living a personal hell
I am theirs and they are mine
We live together in my fucked up mind
©chickurdur-(tg)
10/2020 -
A sorrow
And there I was, panting and struggling
In a whirlpool of madness and depression
While there you were, bumbling and cackling
Oblivious to my suffering, with a cold expression
All I wanted was someone to comfort
To take my addled mind into a warm embrace
But you only ever felt I was a disgrace
Why couldn't you see that I was just hurt
Now that I've won, it is a thing of the past
But a hint of that soreness has already grown a cast
My heart doth feel an aversion to love
And my mind oft question " Is what I know to be love really love "
Though my beliefs were shaken
I still abide and try to help and be kind
Cause I belive in happiness that cometh by following the heart
It has never been a question of right nor wrong
That was what I had gathered on mending my addled mind..
And now you call me heartless and cold?
You call me selfish and question my heart
Too say that I am indifferent to suffering
When what you have suffered is akin to a minor scrape
Where were you when I was struggling to breathe
The thing that pulled me out was my calculating mind
It was the anchor to my drifting mind.
I get it that you couldn't see it
I get it that you can't stand me not seeing it
There's no fault of yours nor mine
But where doth justice lie...
©shadownik -
ryancier2 30w
The Corporate Void
Even if I look
to the branches
beneath my feet
and start a war-cry
with the little bits
of utensils near my being,
would that do ANYTHING?
As I scream into this void,
I can't help but feel
as though it's become even more...
devoid... of laughter, progress,
the celebration of sex and the emotional
streaming of young humans.
That's all been taken away--
We're all just...
screaming into the Corporate Void, now. -
drifting_soul 32w
Out of control
I wish somebody could
just understand
You see my anxiety tend
to take control of me
Make me do things
without thinking
It takes over my entire body
And your just watching
Sitting silently with your
metaphorical popcorn in your
hand watching the show
Watching me slowly spin
out of control
©little_miss_deadly -
They say im the devil
Yet i dont compete in any challenges that goes on
Yet the devil still somehow wins the battle
How am i the devil then??
If i purposely disqualify myself
How?? -
I dont lose
I only choose, when to win. -
Wish.
I just had one wish today.
But of course,
Like all my other wishes,
They never come true.
So now it is just a broken thought
That caves inside of a broken home
A broken heart
With spider webs nesting inside of a black hole.