#venting

330 posts
  • dreamer_4 2h

    WARNING: THIS IS A VENT POST

    You could have just told me you hated me..
    That you didn't want me.
    Need me
    Or loved me.
    But why did you ever tell me you did?
    Why why why why why whhhhyyyyyy
    To break my heart?
    To leave me here shattering to pieces once I realised that yes! It was all just a lie. That it was all fucking FAKE.
    WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BREAK MY HEART?
    WAS IT NECESSARY?
    DID YOU HAVE TO GO THIS FAR?
    DID YOU HAVE TO KILL ME INSIDE?
    UNTIL I COULDN'T BREATHE.
    UNTIL I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY FUCKING NIGHT.
    UNTIL MY HEART BROKE INTO PIECES AND BLED AND MY CHEST HURT LIKE HELL.
    Tell me.. did you have to make it so hard for me to just breathe now..?
    Did you have to break me.. like this?
    Did you have to.. leave me bleeding and hurting? And breaking to pieces?
    Did you have to lie to me.. tell me you loved me.. when you absolutely didn't give a fuck about me..
    When I finally believed that lie and fell for you.. you had to leave me. Because it wasn't ever true.. your promise that you'd stay because no.. why would you.. you never even wanted me.
    Now I wish I could say fuck you to your face. But how can I? Because even though yours was a lie.. mine was not. I did love you. Immensely. With all of what I had in me.
    And then you broke me.
    YOU BROKE ME.
    ©dreamer_4

  • jazzpanda 1w

    Troubled

    Pissed off with myself
    Trying to get off from your thoughts

    But stuck
    Cause I have attached you to
    Everything
    Around me.
    ©jazzpanda

  • moodswingchild 11w

    For my ex

    I am not scared of you. I am afraid of what you'll do to ones I care for. I'm not emotionless nor mentally ill.. I AM SOMEONE WHO GIVES EVERYTHING TO OTHERS TO MAKE THEM SMILE. I'm nothing like you.. So stop.. Your not a dictator anymore.. You just a simple girl who needs help.
    ©moodswingchild

  • in_fragments 14w

    "Time keeps moving on too fast.
    Everyone I love just keeps getting older.
    We are all dying. We are all so decrepit.


    I just want to be held like a child again.


    My mind keeps moving on too fast.
    Nothing is real, and minutes don't pass
    properly inside of me.
    I am stuck in so many different places.


    You stole my past and ruined my future.
    The present is hanging on
    by a razor-thin, weakening thread.


    I just want to be safe again, clean again,
    innocent again.
    My childhood is missing.
    Why am I not allowed back there?


    I don't remember what any of this feels like.
    It all seems unattainable,
    like some distant memories I've let rot
    and left to be forgotten.
    Why did I have to forget?


    Time marches on so unjustly, so unfairly.
    Time saw what happened to me,
    it saw them destroying me
    and did nothing but pass to haunt me.


    If time was never on my side,
    is there any reason why I'm still alive?"
    ©in_fragments

    ~~~~
    In an abusive relationship with time.
    #pod #poem #trauma #venting #cptsd #abuse #time #thoughts @mirakee @writersnetwork @writersbay

    Read More

    Time/No Time

    We are all so decrepit.


    I just want to be held like a child again.
    ©in_fragments

  • mrsalikattyoung 19w

    Seems like the
    only time people care
    is if you
    accomplish something

    ©mrsalikattyoung

  • eyesick 22w

    Hypocite

    "Hes a druggy, he does drugs. Let me take my medication"

  • eyesick 22w

    Sarcasm

    "Oh so sneaky "

  • eyesick 22w

    This aint the way to live.

    When you want to work out or go to the gym
    But you dont have the energy to do it.
    And you cant work because your head always bugs you.
    Thinking people are being sneaky
    Or people who u seen from last jobs with their appearance being different.
    So instead u sit and smoke and get fatter
    Just waiting for the floods or more fires to come.
    Knowing you wont be able to lift yourself back up when it happens.

  • eyesick 22w

    I Guess i never really had friends
    Even though i use to considered everyone i was friends with as sister and brother.
    I guess my image of them was different to their image of me.
    And now i feel like noone can get my trust anymore
    Noone can get my love anymore
    Noone can get my loyalty anymore
    Because its always "in the wrong hands."

  • jabberwolkii 23w

    I built a house over the years
    An I painted it nice an layered down strong foundation

    I planted pretty flowers an grew vegetables in my garden

    I had a swing to watch over the world as it passes me

    Overtime I had to keep repainting it
    Overtime the rope deteriorates
    Overtime the wood falls apart
    The flowers wilted time an time again
    My garden rotted every year
    An overtime I lost motivation to try
    But time an time again every year I keep painting
    I keep replacing the wood an ropes
    I keep planting pretty flowers an vegetables

    An I keep swinging watching the world pass me by

    An you look an say how pretty my house looks every year but you never asked to come inside

    But I wouldn't want you to anyways because you will realize my house isn't as pretty as you thought

    ©jabberwolkii

  • jabberwolkii 24w

    Tonight the only sound is my heart pounding to the bed

    I felt nothing before that an I sit beside nothing to look at

    The vitamins i take I wonder if it's actually more love then minerals

    Loving myself gets so lonely when I have so many others biting at me

    I don't expect anything anymore but silence

    Just quiet isolating silence to burrow into forever

    ©jabberwolkii

  • eyesick 24w

    Its bin years

    Getting over someone you thought was gunna be "the one" is hard as fckk.
    Its bin years but her name still rings in my ears
    With everyday having flash backs to my smiles when i seen her smiles.
    My laughs was based on the jokes i made just to try to get her to laugh.
    And if she laughed thats what made me laugh.
    Imagine introducing someone to ur mom, then having ur mom say what happened to "this person"
    And wishing u had the answer to reply with but even u didnt know why she left.
    Imagine someone matching your vibe
    Matching ur soul
    Then the next day not even speak to u .
    Like u dont exist.
    Just imagine your at a poker table and u bet all in but the bet u put all in wasnt your money. It was your heart and soul. .... and u lost .

    Now its bin years
    And every now and then i still cant get over that at some point i was by ur side, walking u home.

  • eyesick 27w

    I never win knowingly

    I wish i knew that i was going to reconnect with her.
    Then maybe i coulda had time to prep up what to say.
    But then the time came
    And all i had in my head was negativity from past trama.
    And that drove her away..
    ...again..

  • samitue 27w

    DEMONS WITHIN

    Trapped and confined
    Inside an unbalanced mind

    Sabotage and destruction profound
    Deranged thoughts are often found

    So many demons within
    Unsure of where I end
    and the demons begin

    Regret and loneliness dwell
    Living a personal hell

    I am theirs and they are mine
    We live together in my fucked up mind

    ©chickurdur-(tg)
    10/2020

  • shadownik 29w

    A sorrow

    And there I was, panting and struggling
    In a whirlpool of madness and depression

    While there you were, bumbling and cackling
    Oblivious to my suffering, with a cold expression

    All I wanted was someone to comfort
    To take my addled mind into a warm embrace
    But you only ever felt I was a disgrace
    Why couldn't you see that I was just hurt

    Now that I've won, it is a thing of the past
    But a hint of that soreness has already grown a cast
    My heart doth feel an aversion to love
    And my mind oft question " Is what I know to be love really love "

    Though my beliefs were shaken
    I still abide and try to help and be kind
    Cause I belive in happiness that cometh by following the heart
    It has never been a question of right nor wrong
    That was what I had gathered on mending my addled mind..

    And now you call me heartless and cold?
    You call me selfish and question my heart
    Too say that I am indifferent to suffering
    When what you have suffered is akin to a minor scrape

    Where were you when I was struggling to breathe
    The thing that pulled me out was my calculating mind
    It was the anchor to my drifting mind.

    I get it that you couldn't see it
    I get it that you can't stand me not seeing it
    There's no fault of yours nor mine
    But where doth justice lie...

    ©shadownik

  • ryancier2 30w

    The Corporate Void

    Even if I look
    to the branches
    beneath my feet
    and start a war-cry
    with the little bits
    of utensils near my being,
    would that do ANYTHING?
    As I scream into this void,
    I can't help but feel
    as though it's become even more...
    devoid... of laughter, progress,
    the celebration of sex and the emotional
    streaming of young humans.
    That's all been taken away--
    We're all just...
    screaming into the Corporate Void, now.

  • drifting_soul 32w

    Out of control

    I wish somebody could
    just understand
    You see my anxiety tend
    to take control of me
    Make me do things
    without thinking
    It takes over my entire body
    And your just watching
    Sitting silently with your
    metaphorical popcorn in your
    hand watching the show
    Watching me slowly spin
    out of control
    ©little_miss_deadly

  • eyesick 34w

    They say im the devil
    Yet i dont compete in any challenges that goes on
    Yet the devil still somehow wins the battle
    How am i the devil then??
    If i purposely disqualify myself
    How??

  • eyesick 35w

    I dont lose
    I only choose, when to win.

  • eyesick 35w

    Wish.

    I just had one wish today.
    But of course,
    Like all my other wishes,
    They never come true.
    So now it is just a broken thought
    That caves inside of a broken home
    A broken heart
    With spider webs nesting inside of a black hole.