Sophistication Elegance Calmness Noiselessness Aren't you getting what I am talking about? These are the four pillars of working when mom is sleeping and you have to do something. With elegance you tip toe across the room, Sophisticatedly you close the door, With calmness you walk upstairs and downstairs And Noiselessly you sneeze or cough.
But these 4 pillars crumble down to pieces when the tables turn.
Whenever you're sleeping, mom is like South Indian movie actor. She would bang open the door which would strike the back wall at least 2 or 3 times after opening. She becomes a professional drummer of a famous rock band while beating the clothes even when you have a washing machine. She acts like Kabir Singh who's going to save Preeti with the background music played by herself :
(Explosions in the background ) It's just so close to a rock concert when she throws all the utensils during dish washing if she just do head banging as well damn it would be perfect. I can even listen to the music of banging of dishes in my dreams while I'm asleep.
Being frustrated I woke up, went up to her and asked, " 12 !!???!" Just one look from her with her eyes opening as wide as possible and extending her lower jaw in rage like all Indian mothers do (I don't know how do they do it) and a spooky dreadful silence followed.
|| : We all get our chance to take out our frustrations and anger on someone or something but she is the one who rarely gets an opportunity to do that. Utensils are the only thing on which she gets a chance and I was not letting her do that.||
So, to cover up I said, "Ok Ok Calm down.. I get it mom"
Now you know mom has gone rogue what could I possibly do to change the mood.
Being a music lover, I tune in to my imaginary electric guitar by acting in front of mom as if I'm plugging it in into the switch behind the door, waiting for the right moment and I said, "Cue music" and mom throws and then I joined her by playing the intro of Bekhayali. It just synchronizes with the clanking and banging of utensils.. ((Remember all this is happening at midnight)).. Meanwhile clanks with the plate.. My turn : .. (Ahh! It's all in my head I wish I could show you the jugalbandi.. Damn it's so perfect.. I would ask Coldplay to sign us for a concert... *Suddenly Modiji enters* " " Okkk ♂️♂️ Let's change Coldplay to Shankar Ehsaan Loy.. Sorry Modiji..)
Coming back, I did head banging for her and kept playing my invisible guitar with full feeling. Meanwhile she is looking at me weirdly thinking, " (fretting hand) (strumming hand)" Well, she can't see my imaginary guitar na...
She gives me her disgusting look as soon as I stop while she had stopped way before me and said, "Kya tha ye!!!" And me being Kajol of Kuchh Kuchh hota hai took water from the tap made fake tears and said, "Kuchh kuchh hota hai Rahul, Tum nhi smjhoge"
*Mayday* *Mayday* *Mayday*
These stunts are performed by experts only Please do not try this at home. I'm still running for my life so a small advice for the readers : Do not disturb your mom while dish washing. I repeat‼️ Do not even think about it❗ Otherwise, head banging will become real in your life. With just one difference - your head will be banging against the utensils at home.
P.S. - Kabhi Kabhi khaane me namak barabar hi sahi par tareef kar diya karo.. Apne liye hi sahi.. Dekhna, Agle 3-4 din tak bina jali roti milegi.. Baad me mujhe thanks bolna.
*whispering* You all need to understand all moms become cranky at this age