Getting people to do something by asking for the opposite. Reverse psychology is a persuasive technique that involves getting someone to engage in the desired action or response by suggesting the opposite.
This involves emotional desire. Getting someone to experience and feel the guilt so you can feel free and not have the guilt strangling your throat.
By playing the innocent one in the game so that the other person could feel guilty and think they've done wrong. This makes the other person feel guilty and doubt their own decisions. It affects self-confidence.
To the one misusing reverse psychology card, do not misuse it so you could avoid self-guilt. Your instincts would definitely tell you deep down the guilt is still there. Face it and not throw it to an innocent person.
To the one being thrown this card, trust your guts and believe in facts. Don't let emotions fool you to doubting your own decisions. Be strong and take time to digest the information before you believe it all to be true. Don't let guilt overtake your innocence.
Reading a book or attending a session about an Islamic ruling you wish to study on or know more about, give you the opportunity to gain more knowledge about it. Whereas, Shaykh Google gives you just the exact answer to your question but you miss out on being exposed to more than just the answer.
That's why we see ourselves going back to Google next time we have an issue.
Not everything on Google is authentic Islam. You have to sieve through what you take. How would you know what to take and what to leave ?
By having the principles / conditions in mind. You gain those from institutes and centres of gaining knowledge.
It's time we stop depending on Shaykh Google.
The way of the salaf were to gain knowledge from books and lectures. Not everyone's learning preference is reading and listening. I know that. But, you can still use your learning preference to still gain the same knowledge. Whether it's auditory or reading or kinesthetic(physical) or visual or verbal or logical or social or solitary or even just combination of more than one learning preference.
Goodness thrives when we accept to change our future for the better life not just for ourselves but for others as well.
Do unto others what you want them to do to you. Treat all with kindness and love.
Most of those afflicted with miserable childhood memories they tend to protect their children from getting the same treatment. However, they fail to recognise that they are repeating the same behaviour to other people in the name of "Protecting their OWN." When you decide to end it, then end it for all. Don't specify but generalize to all.
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They say, " When you go to Rome, do like what the Romans do." My question is What if that means compromising your faith? Leaving your hijab ? Leaving your niqab ? Just to blend in with the society. It's not a matter of doing what the people of that community/country do.
It's a matter of staying true to your religion, your faith, yourself and most importantly obeying and submitting to the same God whom you were submitting to, before.
Relationships that have an aim of lasting forever together as one, always pose a solution that one of the two arguing has to step down and either forgive or ask for forgiveness.
However, if the goal to formulating or driving this accidental or unintentional drama, "argument," is not to find a solution but other selfish motives then this strategy won't work.
As one of the two parties won't accept to step down.
Rather leading to a back and forth argument that would sabotage that relationship.
Before you wonder why it's an endless argument, sit back and reflect and ask yourself, " Why was I arguing ? What is my motive behind this argument?" "What am I aiming for to gain at the end of this argument?"
The answer to this will guide your way to the solution.
Either forgive or ask for forgiveness if truly your motive is to seek a solution.
Before you utilise your energy to fight for something, always know if it wasn't worth worrying for then it's not worth fighting for.
If your emotions and feelings towards that thing is inclining towards negativity then what's the use of utilising all your energy to fight for something that you truly and deeply don't care nor worry for. It's a wastage of time and energy.
If you truly care for something or someone then worry evolves and you start searching for ways on how to handle or solve the situation.
Usually emotions connect to that person or thing.
But, if there's no spark of emotion which would result in no concern/interest nor worrying then there's no need to fight for it.
Emotions trigger the strength and energy to achieve something. They keep that person moving inspite of all the struggles he/she faces on that path. Just know if there's no emotions to care and worry then it's not worth fighting for.
We do get overwhelmed and distressed at times and our minds don't think straight. That's why we are advised by psychologists to not make any decisions when in an emotional state. Whether angry or very happy ...Do not make any desicion nor do or say anything that would backfire when you are back to a normal and moderate state.
Moderation in Islam is an essential element in any act or word.
amatullah_bm@bushra_sayed indeed Subhaana Allah...Islam taught us these things 1400 years ago but we kind of realise them now when psychologists start getting famous for these same ideologies and concepts. That's why I felt it was best to honour our religion and show the world how these same famous quotes have been there for ages ...we just didn't realize them till some celebrity says so... this isn't fair to our prophet's golden wisdom.. May Allah grant us wisdom and Tawfeeq in all that we do.
When we get informed then we do have questions coming up in our minds, so that we can be able to connect the dots. When we miss a gap to understand the story then that's when salt and chilli made-up stories based on thoughts are forcefully filled in so that we can end the story in a full drama.
However, this is someone's life we are talking about. When you listen then listen to help and not listen to just fill the gap. When you need to ask then ask because you care for that person and are willing to help and not ask just for the sake of being "informed" so you can fill your curiosity gaps. Both ways we do, but it depends on which result you want to choose.
We do worry, we do get anxious about the future and we do get these negative thoughts that linger in our mind which later affect our spiritual belief and hence trigger our yaqeen(certainty) towards Allah. We add Shakk (uncertainty ) and test Allah to see whether He will do it or not. This happens often, apart from being Qadar(destiny), where we make dua about something and we may do the acts involved in this and even say the correct words but with no yaqeen in heart and we see a failure at the end. Let's take an example: Reading the dua:(Words) بسم الله ×3 أعوذ بالله وقدرته من شر ما أجد و احاذروا ×7 And putting your right hand on the pain on your body or someone else's body(action) whilst reciting this makes the pain go away.
But, where are our thoughts? Our thoughts are still stuck on the fact that it's not the dua that will work but the panadol that I drank earlier. You have uncertainty towards the Dua but very certain on the Painkiller tablet you had.
And guess what! You may or may not heal. You are testing and trying on Allah's powers! And He has the choice to either heal you or not. Just try to push the negative thoughts with positive thoughts of certainty that you will heal by Allah's Grace and Mercy.
sumayah_amsMashaAllah tabarakAllah sister....... Such a motivating post towards faith May Allah reward you for this... Ameen... Keep inking religious posts Amatullah and tag me in them if you wish so
amatullah_bm@sumayah_ams Ameen Ya Rab Jazakillah Khairan sister... I see you pen down amazing poetry... you mind joining Islamic Reflections organisation where you can publish and write your poetry to the world...if you are interested please DM in Instagram @amatullah_bm same username or email me Islamicreflections2018@gmail.com ...I would love to have you on board with us ..thanks and Jazakillah Khairan dear sister