#trauma

781 posts
  • mighty_are_the_fallen 3d

    Enough

    Your an abuser
    You need help
    I tried to give you help
    You burned me
    If you ever come near me
    It'll be violent
    I didn't suffer in quiet
    Just for you to lie again
    What did you expect
    When you hurt someone so dearly
    I'm done
    Stay off my shit
    I've been forced to watch yours
    Because you can't help but lie
    Do it again and the same will happen
    Be happy with what you have
    Move on
    You caused me so much pain
    I threw up for weeks
    I'll say what I want
    When I'm the survivor
    ©mighty_are_the_fallen

  • _n_khan_ 5d

    : Hows life going?

    : somehow managed to go without me...

    ©_n_khan_

  • shivangij 1w

    Fighting over yourself

    Adiós, to negative vibes and emotions,
    the clutches of trauma that haunts me

    I am here to fight back your attacks,
    Bringing out the brave in me

    I know the journey is long with your counter attacks,
    But I have stand brave to improve

    The confidence and courage sides,
    Of mine too become a better version for me
    ©shivangij

  • sunyna 1w

    Trance
    .


    I seem to be the product of all the traumas in my ancestry.
    Some trance was naturally born in me since birth.


    ©sunyna

  • we_are_not_beautiful 1w

    In a lair of curses
    She exhales
    Unapproved demises
    Of last night
    Mourning with morning air
    She lays there
    With clusters of
    Weeping galaxies
    From her peripheral vision
    She saw the wild being
    Coming to get her again
    Innocence in her eyes
    She pleaded, begged, withered
    Cried to the forests
    To cover her delicacy with
    Flowers and leaves
    Cried to the rains
    To wash away her
    Scars, scratches, dents, dots
    Cried to her mother
    Questioning her existence
    Questioning why she birthed her
    Unholy and owned
    She felt with the wild being
    Helpless and scattered
    She might rise one day
    To rule and run
    With the king of forest
    And will forget
    The demises
    Of every night

    -Jayshree

  • ananias 1w

    @writersnetwork @mirakee #sad #trauma

    This is probably my longest poem on here. Hope the background/text doesn't ruin it.

    Read More

    They say I'm avoidant, when I'm dormant
    That I'm broken or confused, when reforming from torment
    Swollen heart with an emotional stint; it risks being burst if I say what I meant
    My body moves through stages of development, but my mind is locked in place, where my love was sent
    You've kept it longer than it should have ever been lent, in fact you should be charging rent
    But you have already taken a toll, perhaps untold, but you know when I show you the hole in my heart that it was you who put it there
    So let's be fair and get things square
    I need everything back from you, even the love you needed; I need it back so you can know how I was treated
    My misery needs company, you could never know how bad it needs it.

    ©ananias

  • reshma_kausar_mohideen 2w

    EXPERIENCE OF MISSCARRIAGE.

    This was the first time, all the pains and aches felt blissful,
    Her perpetual sickness felt like budding roots, soon to be fruitful,
    Every time she fainted, every while she retched or spewed,
    She embraced the flames of twinges on which her dreams were getting brewed.

    Every time, she used to feel healthy and good, she day dreamt,
    Sometimes counting the days remaining, sometimes successfully spent,
    Sometimes she'd caress her belly and bless the tiny blossom inside,
    Changing positions a million times, on the quilt of sleep, her dreams would glide.

    All of a sudden a disasterous wind flew with an enormous force,
    Sharp pangs made her squeak in her sleep's course,
    Causing a crack on the brittle panes of her long awaited desire,
    Bled her heart and soul burnt all night on the ill-fate's fire.

    The next morning as she scaled the road towards her medic,
    The closer she reached, her heart thumped with greater vigour,
    Waiting in the queue outside, she could think nothing but only predict,
    In a quivering voice, she explained, eager to hear good from the doctor.

    The fear that clutched her last night finally gulped her at once,
    On learning that her womb was getting cleansed by itself, she panicked and freaked,
    Choicelessly, she was to witness her foetus oozing out, it's disintegrated organs,
    She still waited for a miracle until the last drop of blood got leaked.

    Has seperated her from the unborn, that devastating miscarriage,
    She still couldn’t find the key to emancipation, unlocking the bondage,
    The wounds on the internal walls of her weakened body have healed,
    Scars that abortive pregnancy left on her soul have still not concealed.

    *Reshma kausar Mohideen.*

    *Instal handle: sword_of_word_86.*

    #misscarriage
    #mirakee
    #mirakeeworld
    #writersnetwork
    #mother
    #poem
    #trauma
    #health
    #unborn
    #pregnancy

    Read More

    MISSCARRIAGE.

    ©reshma_kausar_mohideen

  • ananias 2w

    Moving

    I don't need to imagine, I am able to remember. Leaving house after house, each stay no longer than seeing two Decembers. Always leaving a part of me behind, that I won't need to recall; leaving friends, family, toys and dreams, really I have left them all. Time and time again, as a kid and as a teen. I left everything I knew and had to relearn all the things I have seen. Who likes who? What road gets you where you're going? Is it worth making friends again when I will just move again or blow it? It feels like it is your fault when nobody likes you, even though they don't know much it's like their worst ideas about you might be true. So when I think of moving, I don't think about which house was a home. I think about losing everything and again having to be alone.

    ©ananias

  • suzisavage 2w

    This Still Needs Healing (Part 1)

    I was just 5 when I first met you.
    Mom stole your heart, but you saw me too.
    I was witty, independent, stubborn and smart.
    Instantly, I too, stole your heart.(I'm already crying.)

    I didn't really get the concept of a "dad."
    Besides 8 months, Grandpa was all I had.
    And I fought tooth and nail to keep Mom mine. All mine.
    Yet, you told me if I let you love us we'd be fine.(More tears.)

    It took about a year to break my walls.
    Park trips, bike rides, fishing, camping,
    We did it all.
    And though "Dad" was a name I kept reserved,
    "This is my daughter," with no doubt were your words.

    When I was 8, we found out I would have a brother.
    He was Mom's favorite, but I was your favorite daughter.
    I couldn't foresee how everything would shift.
    A car accident, a slipped disc, addictive scripts.

    Let's fast forward to the time when I was 12.
    You and Mom were turning Heaven into Hell.
    I was perceptive, I watched everything fall apart.
    Your demon, Oxy, finally came out of the dark.

    I kept it in, I didn't want to get taken away.
    All I wanted was for things to be okay.
    (Fuck!)
    Fighting, screaming, lies, deceit became the norm.
    "Just get a divorce," I begged, "Before we're REALLY torn!"

    Three more years went by, I felt you both slipping away.
    I met my birth dad, but it wasn't the same.
    See, in those three years, he was in and out too.
    But for the last 10 years, my father was YOU. (Hold them back!)

    I remember the fight that was the end.
    Your secretary was "nothing but a friend."
    But I read the letter that Mom had found, too.
    Copied and pasted and sent your words right back to you, I knew.

    The next year, you found another to hold your heart,
    Still you promised me we'd NEVER fall apart.
    I still believe it was you that locked Mom up.
    This was the beginning of you losing all my love.

    Two more years, I'm 18, Mom's love didn't fade.
    You pulled her right back in, she didn't see the blade.
    You both danced in a cruel and deadly intoxication.
    She ran away from you and your common fixations.

    Before she got away, this is the part that gets forgotten,
    If she lost you, she had to lose her two begotten.
    So you played the game of "he's mine" with my brother,
    And you dug a trench between me and my mother.

    That girl you got with after the secretary,
    She was your new victim, you were gonna remarry!
    Which would have been fine, if you kept yourself together.
    You made a new family, and left me there to whether.

    "I'm always here, I'll always love you," you fucking promised!
    But you were overtaken long before you made the comment.
    And in the last 6 years, I was already so betrayed,
    I decided I didn't want to risk your blade.
    (Don't do it, B.)

    It remains one of the toughest things I've done.
    Still I saw no choice but to cut you off and run.
    Here we are, 9 and a half years flew right by.
    MOST of the time I block you out just fine.

    Most. But every-so-often.. That trigger gets hit,
    And in the moment, I'm not okay one bit.
    See, your so consumed by your demons, you're not you.
    I can never tell you what you put me through.

    Opi's your new demon, and boy oh boy! Is he strong!
    He'd find a way to make you right and make me wrong.
    I know my Senior photo still sits in your wallet,
    My little brother recently confirmed he saw it.

    And it's not just my broken heart that keeps me from you,
    How dare you break that bright eyed little boys heart too!(Sobbing)
    How dare you put him through the horrors that I saw!
    Then have the audacity to wonder why there's no calls!

    I wish I could tell you that my love for you is gone.
    I wish I could tell you that I've been done and moved on.
    That's the thing, though your name makes me feel sick,
    I wish it never ever had to be like this.

    I've gotten really good at learning how to deal,
    But I haven't a clue where to begin to heal.
    Cause when I'm all alone and I do think of you.
    Not just my heart, my whole soul rips right in two.

    You won't see this, but if somehow it comes your way.
    I still never really want to see your face.
    I cannot heal, but I have learned resistance.
    Protect myself...by loving you from a distance.
    ©suzisavage

  • scarletrose 2w

    A "Lost Cause"

    Abandoned by a parent,
    leaving both roles filled by the other.
    Neglected
    every other weekend;
    Numbing the isolation
    to normalcy;
    Abandoning responsibility
    to a nobody.

    "It has always been this way."

    A crave for love and attention,
    never a time for healing.
    The numbness to emptiness
    easily replaced
    with the next person,
    the next person,
    and the next.
    Never giving time to register
    nor reflect.

    At a time
    where he should be
    at his prime,
    he left countless
    upon countless of growth
    bottled and resigned.

    Till the moment he was slapped
    did he awoke to
    a pain so intense,
    reality on the fence,
    wondering where he had
    succumbed and lost his sense.

    Pray tell if this lost soul
    can ever be saved?
    Or is it too late;
    like everything in his life;
    abandoned to vicious fate?

    A "lost cause" to many,
    his fight at a standstill;
    Forever unsure
    if his existence
    ever had a will.

    ©scarletrose

  • pi_infinite 2w

    Selection

    The human brain is selective
    And so are our memories.
    I wonder what it is
    That chooses for me
    With dangerous unpredictability
    What events wind up
    Getting caught in the spiderweb
    That is my mind
    And which ones vanish
    Forever.
    There are some things I know
    Despite a lack of recollection -
    The dread of coming home,
    The fear of being too loud,
    Recognizing footsteps in the hall,
    Flinching at the sound
    Of a ringing telephone.
    But my brain seems to filter
    The good from the bad,
    Separates
    The sugar from the salt
    With such ease,
    Until the memories are gone
    And the emotions start to fade
    And suddenly I can't remember
    Why I fled a situation,
    Cannot recall
    Why I cut the devil
    Out of my life
    When all that remains
    Is the shadow
    Of a set of spread wings.
    It is dangerous,
    Terrifying even,
    The realization that I can't even trust
    My own mind anymore,
    Be it through manipulation
    Or my own desire
    For an easier past,
    Because I fear that I will make
    The same mistakes again
    For sometimes bad memories
    Are our only protection
    From new pain.

    ~p.t.

  • pi_infinite 2w

    Wounds

    Frankly, I would find them fascinating -
    The wounds you left
    On my body and young mind,
    Boiling under my skin,
    Unnoticed for so long
    Until the walls I built
    With the little I had
    Could no longer hold them,
    Came crumbling down
    Like a house of cards
    Built by a child
    Blown away
    By a sudden gust of wind.
    I would find them fascinating,
    The way they heal until the scar
    Is barely noticeable on the surface
    Before my old wounds
    Are ripped open once again
    Like a seam that comes undone
    When you tuck on a loose string,
    Staining my clothes
    With the dark blood
    Of old memories.
    Truly, I would find them fascinating,
    Proof and evidence of my strength
    And all that I have endured,
    If only the pain
    Wasn't this unbearable.

    ~p.t.

  • koreblack 3w

    defense mechanism I: maternal animal


    I want to tell my mom that even though control rhymes with her name
    it is not a love language

    I want to tell her that instant gratification only leads to debt and clutter
    and if she invested more in being a better person and mother
    maybe her messy house wouldn’t feel so empty

    I want to make her understand there are things far worse than abandonment
    I remember them even if she swears that they never happened

    I want to tell my mom that her problematic daughters share one thing in common
    that while we had different upbringings and different fathers
    we were trauma bonded at the womb

    I want her to know that I’ve spent years in therapy
    so that I could give myself the love I never got from her

    I want to ask her if she knows what love actually is

    I want to tell my mom that when I grow up I want to be everything she’s not
    but there are days when I hear her voice coming from my mouth
    going straight for the throats of people I care about

    I want to tell her that I think of her when I step onto the scale 1-3 times a day
    that her face looks back at mine when I dare to feel okay about the way I look

    I want to tell her that my eyebrows are still full
    but I pick my skin until it bleeds whenever I’m anxious or uncomfortable
    in fact, I want her to know that I’m never comfortable

    I want to tell my mom that I remind myself of her with my need to be loved or distracted
    and how I’m scared of true intimacy and I’m tired

    I want her to see that I’m always tired and always sleep deprived
    I drive myself into the ground to make it all look good from the outside
    just like she taught me to

    I want to tell her that criticism is crippling and I’m so quick to turn defensive and cold
    I loathe these parts of me that can’t make peace with my body

    I always need somebody to make me feel needed

    I want to tell her how I’ve repeatedly put other people before me
    because she raised me to only be happy
    if everyone around me is

    I want her to look at me and tell me that I learned from the best
    to see that even with my shaky breath and bony chest I’ve done what I could to survive

    I want to thank my mother for her spite and strong will
    let her know that I’m still here and what didn’t kill me
    admittedly made me more like her

  • in_fragments 4w

    "Terrified, yet emboldened;
    violated, yet resolute;
    still lost, beholden to knowing- yet-
    perhaps a little freer than before;
    some things, once confirmed,
    lead only to more questions, but
    some things, once known,
    can't ever be denied again-
    is this the evovlement of progress?
    What's going to happen now?


    Have I found you, boogey man?
    Is there a name, a history
    for the shadow
    that's haunted my veins
    all this time?
    Fragments of me,
    hotbrained with stretched psyches,
    they crack their bones like glow sticks-
    children of abandoned memories,
    monsters breaking out of little lairs-
    wandering, forgotten,
    have I rediscovered their existence here?


    Reality- still far too hard to see,
    even when it's talking back to me,
    holding my hand, patiently
    and impatiently waiting
    for me to accept it,
    even as I unleash
    banshee screams into its fresh face,
    telling it that I never will."
    ©in_fragments

    ~~~~
    Nothing to see here, I promise.
    #pod #poem #trauma #memories #forgetting #healing @mirakee @writersnetwork @writersbay

    Read More

    Child of Denial

    Have I found you, boogey man?
    Children of abandoned memories...
    have I rediscovered their existence here?
    ©in_fragments

  • theidealist 4w

    #divorce #trauma #poem #life
    @writersnetwork @mirakee
    *** Inspired by Charles Bukowski. Pretty certain I botched it up though***

    @mirakee OMG! ������ Thank you! Thank you!

    Here's to Charles Bukowski ��. Love you forever and ever❤️��

    @theinkdomain
    You are ❤️ personified.
    @writersnetwork
    Thank you again time for the read and repost.

    To you all who read/liked/reposted, take my ❤️ already.

    Read More

    On the Tragedy of Being a Man

    There's a sob stuck in
    my father's throat
    that refuses to come out.
    and so it stays lodged
    and tickles and tingles.

    Sometimes he staggers
    home in the dead of the
    night and calls out my
    mother's name.

    But my mother,
    My mother... She is the
    deafening silence that
    echoes on bare walls,
    the empty spaces between
    the ceiling and the fan.

    and so the pots the pans
    no longer silver now sits
    idly on the sink.
    The hearth, the warmth
    has gathered cobwebs
    and taste like death.

    But father, dear father
    tells me to smile pretty
    on days he combs my hair
    to take me to school.
    Ah, but he forgets to smile!

    There's a sob stuck in my
    father's throat that tickles
    and tingles and stays
    lodged but a man's got to
    be a man.

    If not for himself
    then for his family.

    And so he swallows his sob.

    ©Meri Murry

  • poukii 4w

    THE DAUNTED ONE

    An unsophisticated lass she was,
    with a dazzling smile and magnificent face.

    Her eyes revealed the depth of her emotions,
    they were filled with grief.

    Still she possessed an indestructible life force,
    that rarely went acknowledged by people.

    As she hardly even wanted to
    reveal her authentic self,
    in the fear of being judged by society.

    It was not her fault.

    She sustained an unresolved generational trauma,
    which stopped her from speaking for herself.

    She thought,if she remained silent,
    everyone would accept her.

    The innocent girl was extremely afraid of changes,
    that hold her back for a long time in her life.

    So they labelled her persona as
    " THE DAUNTED ONE".

    But remember my child ," you are enough".
    ©poukii

  • kitty8frost 6w

    Weapons of Destruction

    The knife of trauma
    Pludged into my mind
    Leaving a scar behind

    The bullet of heartbreak
    Buried deep in my chest
    Leaving me with no rest

    The poison of self-doubt
    Coursing through my veins
    Leaving me in these chains

    The arrow of abandonment
    Sticking out from my knee
    Leaving a new fear in me

    The weapons of destruction
    Hindering the construction
    Of myself...

    02/28/2021
    ©kitty8frost

  • mighty_are_the_fallen 7w

    Disguised

    Forgetting the things you said,
    Behind closed doors,
    The image of disguise.

    Forgetting the rot,
    All you created,
    Hiding in bags.

    Waiting for the day,
    When everything spills.

    Your God can see,
    The lies
    The sin
    The beatings
    The waste
    The hatred

    She might not hear it,
    But we can feel it.

    You are not hidden behind doors,
    Behind your confessions,
    Behind all your prayers.
    ©mighty_are_the_fallen

  • in_fragments 7w

    "Meet me out in our childhood ruins.
    We can excavate the home we grew up in;
    kick up energy, history, dust and old spirits,
    the secrets under our stunted skin-
    we'll seek them and learn to live again,
    we'll retrieve all we've forgotten-
    memories resting in washed up coffins
    start convulsing within their margins,
    their roaring, unreachable engines
    starting up after years in the dark;
    they startle you and shake your heart,
    but you must not let it freeze over again,
    you must not let the amnesia win.
    I promise you, my dear, if you follow me,
    closer to yourself than you ever could be-
    you will find what you so desperately seek,
    if you're brave enough to let it in;
    your weary brain can finally begin
    releasing all the horror it's seen.

    Are you prepared to fight for your life?
    Ready to remember what you lost?"
    ©in_fragments

    ~~~~
    What if it's just never coming back?
    #pod #poem #trauma #mentalhealth #mentalillness #recovery #therapy #memories @mirakee @writersnetwork @writersbay

    Read More

    Meet Me in the Ruins

    Ready to remember what you lost?
    ©in_fragments

  • hauntedblossom 7w

    When the Orphan Becomes A Mother

    I hold you in my arms

    and none of my limbs

    act as a cradle would.

    And yet, you leap

    into my grasp,

    bury your face

    in my shoulders.

    I spend the nights

    wondering, as you sleep

    if the darkness will ever

    swallow you whole

    the way it did me.

    If I ever had

    to sever the cord

    connecting one’s

    soul to this world.

    If their grip on you became

    e’er a touch too rough.

    I’d do it for you, my love.

    You are the light that

    ensnares all my doubt.

    And if we had nothing

    but a corpse

    left behind for shelter,

    a house you’d gain.

    And as the house is weathered,
     
    forever would you still remain.


    ©hauntedblossom