to my future self,
hey! have i been on your mind lately? i wish i ain't. i wish these days just vanish into the bermuda triangle i have been weaving for gulping down the tides of strings belonging to the heartbreaks. wherever you are now, i am happy that you could make through it, that you could burn like the candle when they set you on fire. i know you are smiling out there through the dark mazes of puns and hatred, knowing how brighter it is than the labyrinth i am stuck around now. knowing how gracefully you tackled the walls plastered with shards of glass, piercing your soul. iam proud of the smile you are carrying now, 'cause the struggles of finding the rare seashells and gems just to recast it into a real one, paid off. today, i dream of breathing courage like you and feel my skin getting warmer with every sunflower i gift to myself each morning. i today wear rags, saving the threads of all types for the gown of strength you are putting on after every dusk brushing their wind against yours.
my cup of coffee is still warm on my table, and i crave for the taste of your poems under which this letter of mine will be kept. creaking doors, venting rain, starving self... i stay busy among the combinations of verbs, the stars and the leaves. how aesthetically they bind together, be the crown to my drab voices. my lonely self promises you every dawn, the sum of pretty calibres in your future paramour, who will sing you the poems my soul craved in lonely nights. nightsky greets me, takes me to the staircase to you. seven stairs left, steep and sturdy. and soon i will be at the top, merging with you to be a stronger self. find myself in a verse rhyming pain with flowers, darkness with colours, us with hope and grace. and when i reach the top we will smile at myself, over the curses which made us who we are, over the mistakes which shaped our flaws, 'cause after all, i am the sanguine blue hanging from the skyline when the cloudbursts stir you awhile ago.
a beautiful woman in making