26.12.2020 I am dead in a lively body ! Who knows i will ever be alive again Or will be killed thousand of times Like this again and again; Shall i talk to you furthur or You really felt what i mean What i try to say , what i need to talk Instead what i do is to keep things sum up in my little heart that's been shattered in various ways Okay , this time i let you have a benefit of doubt . I never opened up my thoughts ,my illness , The way i should or The way i need to ? I need an escape Escape from what ? From the lethal life or The thoughts boggled in my mind The sad little me with so many dreams that wanted to fly . Sad but the truth is , I am dead I die daily with so many dreams that i held in my eyes , each single time i am enjoined not to do the things that make me feel good Am i the culprit of my own decisions or I end up as the loser people see in me I am tired of surrendering myself to the universe I need to meet him(almighty god) Want to tell him , Please hug me untill i get peace . The happiness i want , The only thing i want is you and your shelter Please i beg you . I can't live sobbing all day and keeping my face in smiles that hides all my sufferings ! I let you, to hold me ,please . An escape from this lathal life !
Kiss my soul , let it be unpure for the first time. Lick my insecurities, the way i never had them before. Suck the sadness that's been dwelled too long. Hold me close, In your arms The way i felt safe and divine. Caress my tears , Falling from years Kiss my soul , Let it be unpure !
What if i lose myself ? What if again i find myself trembling and scattered ? Is this a place , where i need to hide my scars or to burry my past trauma Where to run, where to seek I traumatize everything related to you Should i cut myself out and be there right behind the moon so i could see you at the night . And let you know my darkling side, that you spilled in my life . My voice get choked as from fear Fear of what ? Getting again into you? No ! It's just the painful agitation Thats all i know , nothing more nothing less Trying to divulge that is Enshroud in my soul .