When I close my eyes,
the non visible fear comes into existence
as a black shawl that provides me
with every extreme emotions
and wraps me up.
It shows me the painful past
and a painful future.
Scares me up with unacceptable situations
and I just allow it to take me….
I went so far that I forgot my peace home.
I got lost and got entangled
in a vicious cycle.
My path back to my place forever got lost and now I walk and crawl
just round and round.
I'm a big girl and I know it's shameful...
to be scared but I am scared sometimes or
everytime to the point of leaving my body.
I do not know actually what am I
supposed to do truthfully.
I just feel like a useless paper drifting
through the breeze in search of
I am mentally alone but
I don't want to be physically alone,
I am just terrified of these thoughts….
thoughts of them leaving me.
I don't want to be scared but
I am scared!