I wanna let you in,
But I end up pushing you away.
My fickle heart,
It wants you,
But it doesn’t need you.
My mind says it won’t participate,
And then it overthinks and makes me hesitate.
‘I am headstrong’. Oh yes! in front of you.
Inside, not so much; I’ll fight with myself again tonight.
I’ll play all the situations that would never happen,
In all of them, wish we be a thing but end up broken.
Just to justify my denial.
To protect me.
Because, in the end, I myself will have to mend it all:
My heart, my sanity and my soul.
So I push you away,
one step a night.
Until there are no more nights,
With you on my mind.