Your love was like a little boy running with a net after a butterfly but you never realised that I wasn't meant to be caught.... I know that what we've had is something special but after high school, I don't want to settle down just yet. I want to go on a trip to Egypt with my friends, or all by myself. It's not that I don't want to settle down, I do. And it's not that I don't want to with you. I just don't want it right now. I hope you understand that this doesn't have to do with our relationship, which has been nothing but magical. It's just that I don't want what you want, right now. It's me, not you.
Looking back at the last line, trying to stifle a laugh at the cliché phrase, Jenna reunited with the memories of her 17year old self. She tried to remember how naive that girl was, how her adventurous spirit lead her to unknown destinations many a times. She also tried to remember how much courage that person had, how confident she was in her own skin to leave the boy who loved her. She also felt sorry for herself. Sorry that she let him go. Sorry that she couldn't hold on to her constantly bubbly, energetic persona.
Many years have passed since the day that letter was written. The letter itself was hardly readable at present, but Jenna knew each and every word. How could she not? She's thought about it for years. Jenna is in her thirties now. Her fiery persona wore out soon after her trip ended, her confidence eroded not much later. Losing her family, she had no choice but to face the scary, dog-eat-dog world. What other choice was there? She had to grow mature, learn to take care of her own world as well as others. Looking back at the scribbled lines, she remembered how she wrote it just before meeting James that day...the last day she saw him.
Looking back brought back so many memories of the jolliness in her aura, the way she could entice people like no other. Maybe, she thought, maybe I changed too much. She decided to decline a job abroad to take care of the family. Although she hadn't had the energy to write back to the firm. She was too exhausted of life. Looking through her box of envelopes, she discovered the battered letter. She felt uneasy. Choosing people over herself had been in practice after that letter ended. Maybe she could take on the job...for herself. For that girl who loved hiking and travelling and.. adventures. If not for her broken self at the moment, she could do it for that reckless menace of a teenager. For right then, with the letter in her hand, painful realisation in her heart for her present condition and tears of relief that she'd refound herself before it was too late, she pressed the letter to her heart and the words were embedded there.
"Courage is contagious" she thought. And in that moment she knew that if not anything else, she still had the same dream as that girl who once wrote that letter~
A Dream to be Free.