218 posts
  • stansteel63rd 7w


    As i sit in a cell in a daze, I continue to see my life as confusing, I've spent 22 years locked in this cage, working to be a better man, praying intensely for forgiveness, and self grooming,

    I've work so hard to find grace, as I contemplated about the lives I've ruined, I've studied the path I've laid,and my unsympathetical life steps, I feel I was forced into chosen,

    The destruction I undeniably made, or gave, selling cocaine, doing robberies, and growing up astray, in the streets, alone afraid, stopped me from being human,

    And everyday my soul, spirit, heart and mind as a kid, began to lose touch,
    with the reality of any positive thoughts or conclusions,

    I seemed to be feeling up with nothing more, than criminal knowledge and thinking anything someone said to me, that held emotion, was a manipulative, deadly intrusion,

    I had no choice, but to form barriers and voids, because I was raising myself, amongst, killers, pedophiles, and drug users,

    I never imagined, the depths of the shit I was doing to survive and eat, would soak so deep in me, that it would taint and fuck up my future,


  • stansteel63rd 7w


    Blockboi's, bustin back, ballin big, no brakes, no breath, bleedin the block, bullying the best, better be built bulletproof, or God blessed,


  • stansteel63rd 7w

    "What Is Racial Injustice"

    It's to be born in a country where you're judged by the color of your pigment,

    What is racial Injustice?

    It's before you take your first breath or steps, you're hated and deemed insufficient,

    What is racial Injustice?

    It's to be labeled and treated disposable, by your country's justice system,

    What is racial injustice?

    Its to grow up wary of the people that take oaths, to protect and serve you, but you know, for your kind, it's different,

    What is racial injustice?

    It's to be left dying in the streets, after being pulled over by the police, for what they would claim, is a casual, or a random traffic incident,

    What is racial Injustice?

    It's to be beaten and fogged, marching for peace and to get rid of, the hateful White American traditions,

    What is racial injustice?

    It's to be killed in your home, or to be suffocated in the streets, raped, branded and sold, or hung, because a race believes implicitly that their privileged, or they have superiority,

    What is racial Injustice?

    It's to be breathing the same air, as those that hate my color, but it's also, hard to live day after day, knowing they hold the power, to worsen our struggles,

    What is racial Injustice?

    It's to join the United States military, to leave the ghettos, and wind up fighting or dying, for another's civil rights and liberties, but yet, you come back home, to endure, the same traumas,

    What is racial Injustice?

    It's to grow up in fear of an early death, because this world made it a curse, to be anything close to being BLACK…. WHERE'S THE JUSTICE IN THAT??

    RIP: to all those that died enduring slavery, racial Injustice, Discrimination, Bigotry, Concentration Camps/Gas chamber's, Hate crimes, for/or (Gender identity, Creed, Color and Sexuality orientation,)


  • _fifty 7w

    The Lament Bird

    Euphoria dove
    die in grief
    singing in my garden
    a caveat
    'The Good die Young
    & Still , borns in vanity,

    Tomorrow is not obvious
    while solitude are in darkrays
    we wash ourselves
    everyday cleanly
    or perhaps to live under the rain
    Our lies don't change our
    tough we didn't remember,
    each other even for a moment,

    And there might be no tomorrow
    in god we trust
    through all this pain and sorrow.


  • stansteel63rd 7w

    Spare Me Time


    I know I've been a criminal most of my life, engaged in dope buys and drive-bys, entrapped in a life of crime,/

    Never gave a fuck about shit, just stacking my chips, making it big, and trying to live lavish,/

    But u got to remember Lord, I had no father, he was a dope head, alcoholic, heart robber,
    I was left alone to die when I was a kid, no father, no mother, just me and my fucking sins,/

    I had to survive, it was Do or Die, Ball or Die, fuck elementary, the streets is where I need to strive,/

    Forgive me, Lord, for those who died in pain, from my finger on the trigger, could you forgive me for those days?
    I want to change, so help me get up out this game before a nigga get caught

  • thoughtsprocess 7w

    In my teens
    I was like
    the mischievous stream
    I was stubborn
    and carefree
    Always giggling,
    was not ready
    to comprises
    on anything
    I wanted
    to live life on my
    own conditions
    But after some years
    I became
    a calm river
    Flowing silently
    Making my way
    without arguing
    with anybody
    The sound of my
    loud laughter
    was lost somewhere
    I learnt to smile
    with my eyes
    I started compromising
    on many things
    I learnt to suppress
    my emotions
    I began to hide
    many secretes
    in the depth of my heart
    I am still flowing
    But I have become
    deep, calm and silent
    I hardly show my true colors
    Nobody knows
    what is going on
    within my heart
    It is difficult
    to fathom
    the depth of
    my inner world
    I am flowing
    constantly without
    I am heading
    towards my ocean
    to merge
    in his deep blue
    I will happily
    lose my identity
    because the aim
    of my life is
    to meet and melt
    into my ocean

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    Ghetto Misery


    It’s too much death in these streets, mothers are praying daily that their babies will make it through this misery or make it home to eat,

    Before the lights dim in the city where jakes and jealous niggas like to live greedy, and play in the darkness, without mercy or no pity,

    It's where gun fire catches innocent bystanders, drug dealers, panhandlers, prostitutes, and corner gamblers,

    Where there's no need for an ambulance, just bring the chalk and the yellow tape, momma sleep at 2:08, Her phone ringing to verificate, another young black soul, will never see another day,

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    Ghetto Misery


    Its tears dropping from my eyes being a witness to homicides and seeing little kids lose their lives,

    Stuck in poverty a money hungry society, screaming 5-0’s when they hit the block smobbing time for hiding,

    Throwing bundles and hitting gates running for the interstate to be free for another day, Thug niggas in this ghetto screaming GUNS UP!!! Life in the fast lane on a paper chase in God we trust,

    Must, I empty this 4-5 to survive ride, or take lives, to move out of this ghetto life?

    I got tears in my eyes for my dead folks, I’m drinking liquor until I’m out cold, and watching the barrels roll,

    For hating sucka and poor niggas with ambitions, for drop vettes, the fame, fortune, and mill tickets, with bloody intentions,

    In a rush for G’s don’t give a fuck about the police I’m ready to squeeze for the currency,

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    Ghetto Misery


    This ghetto misery has got me packing 24/7,and peeking around these corners, ducking and dodging and constantly looking over my shoulders---why?
    Because its innocent casualties being hit, broke youngsters in these streets pissed
    Commenced to be extravagant jacking 50’s harassing me, my momma keeps on telling me to change my ways or meet the cemetery. Been shot four times haven’t learned a dime on how to stay out the life of crime. Infatuated by the high rolling, big time fancy cars and pretty hoes only bring drama
    Young riders get your mind on a mill ticket, penthouse living, fancy cars, jewels, and touching the ceiling,
    I know the feeling being stuck in the fast lane all on the cash game evading the police with a mouth full of cocaine
    And stuck up in these struggling streets its ball or die muthafuckas there is no time for peace just ghetto misery.

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    Spare Me Time


    Spare me time Lord...
    It's been hard and hectic, for so many years, growing up as an adolescent, with aggression, so I never shed many tears,

    But I lived in fear, got shot 4 times and felt my death was near, so before I leave my house, God is the coast clear?

    Cause people getting smoked walking to the mailbox, innocent people lives being clocked out, Lord don't let me be on that early route,

    It's like we living in a pit of hell, this world is a jail cell, to get up out this game u got to die, that's bail,

    So am I hell-bound, or heaven bound? Tell me now, cause it's crazy in my town, on a daily bodies being found,

    People playing for keeps, it ain't no love in these streets, it's murder them, or let them muthafuckas murder me,

    So how?

    Lord you that ain't my style,but if you say sit down, my Lord I'll bow, with no words and no sound my life is yours if you just give me time I vow.........

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    Spare Me Time


    Spare me time Lord.....
    Why do I feel you're calling me early to the cemetery? Don't you think I'm too young to be buried?

    I know it was wrong for me to pull a gun on my mother, but that was years of pain of her not in my corner,

    But now I'm older, standing tall like a soulja, and I'm seeing things in new ways, so don't take me under,

    I repent for the pain I caused, and bodies that have fallen, and all the cocaine I've done sold to all,

    So could you forgive me? Let me live for a century? I'm only 43 don't put me I'm the cemetery,

    It's bad enough that I have thoughts of suicide, watching my folks die, I know it's soon to be my time,

    Spare me time, to get up out this life of crime, you know it takes time, I just can't change overnight,

    So watch my back, when I'm standing on my track, or packing a strap, or just on a mission for scratch,

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    By Any Means Necessary

    I learned to kill early on in my adolescence, it wasn't that hard for me, and came to me easily, because it was a part of my first survival in them street lessons,
    I didn't have to remove many emotional habits, Because my parents never took the time to dispatch them,/

    They never threw them, so I never catch them, I was kind of glad that it never happened, because my life and struggles to grow up in this world abandoned, at the time I did, would have been extremely more hazardous, out right disastrous,/

    I had enough detachments, enough psychological fucked up mask's, I took to all crimes, come ups and hustle trade's like a pro, because I had too,/

    The OG's and Trappas, said I was born gifted, so it would be a honor and privilege to prepare me for the action, I was flattered, and started to capture, all the game that they could ration, plus still went to my school classes, everyday I got sharper, but some of the spill I had to remastered, I was becoming heavy laced in both worlds, but I knew I had to excel more, in criminal tactics,

    Please listen closely and excuse my candor....

    I became heartless and cold, because I was treated like I didn't matter, I left home as a child to save my soul and not get caught up in the same pattern, I couldn't foresee at 7, the lives I would indirectly and directly shatter, I took to the negative road more, so I could kill and cope, but also, bed the fears that grew in me, when I was being battered,

    Fucked over, and pushed to survive by all means necessary, the quote by Malcolm X, with my guns drawn, and lifted in seconds, with no thought or remorse, getting active,

    Through the years I got more non responsive to peace treaties during funk, or just my greed, or thirst for my desire to live lavish, cause being broke will never be attractive,
    And when your rich, u dont need to many, fucking manners, look at Donald Trump, that bastard far from diplomatic,

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    "A Trappa's Prayer"

    Good morning Lord, I asked that you hear my prayers for my unknowns and knowing wrongs forgive me.
    I also ask you to bless me if I have to continue to do my wrongs and to the knowings and the unknowns. I'm working to grow. My struggles at times are so unbearable. I'm in this world alone. I have no confidant to speak to when I'm on the wrong roads, or about to explode. Dirt,my brother has enough to hold, his mother is sick, he's working on not let the streets control mind, body,heart or soul, the struggles is consuming our souls, the good in us you looking for us to show, but the path we walk in this ghetto lord, clouds our minds, pollutes and stunts our positive growth, I apologise for not being Christ strong, being able to sacrifice and accept being born black, and at the moment having not strength to receive you as a whole, I don't know who to blame for this life I'm living making me cold,unsympathetic, murderous, greedy, and extremely hateful, You woke me up this morning, today I breathe again, and so there's a chance for all you are to take hold, so I thank you my Lord, the holy spirit and my heavenly father, for given me the extra time to figure out the best way to go, I love you Lord and if I die in the midst of negativity or a sin, please forgive me and let me come home…

    I love your Lord, Amen

    Dedicated to; My Big Bruh's, Will and Dave 3rdLife Finest.... trayswaiters

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    Born Trapped

    I just realized that I'm trapped, I've been boxed up for a crime I committed when I was young and off-track,

    I lived strapped.... angry, emotionless, and forced to survive, no time for remorse, fuck love, or pitty, no slack,

    You ask why is that?
    First....it's the norm where I grew up at
    Second, my father fell in love with the bottle and crack, that shit had him overmatched,

    He was lost, and angry, beating my mother on the daily, until she didn't pack, she left everything in her life, and didn't look back,

    Real Talk.......

    True Facts......

    Me and my sister, became the target of his attacks, unspeakable shit, that scars you for life, like a tat, a birthmark, a permanent black patch,

    I wondered where the fuck is God at...
    We were too young, and to small, to fight back, that's the first time I felt Trapped!

    U know how I dealt with that????

    I grabbed my jacket and my hat, I woke my sister Nay-Nay and asked,
    Are u coming? She said, no...I didn't expect that,

    We hugged, I had to hold my tears back, as I walked into the night and emotionally detached,

    I remember the day vividly, it was pitch black, cold and damp, people were everywhere, block boys selling crack, half-dressed women, jumping in and out of Cadillacs,

    I heard gunshots, polices sirens and ambulances echoing from trap to trap, I witness a carjack.... dope fiends fighting, a high-speed chase and a life snatched, just imagine that,

    I wish, I would have recognized, right then and there, what I was feeling and learning in the streets....would later attract,

    Confinement, death, a life of crime, and a heart and soul that's black, a life with no map, Shit!....my moral compass collapsed,

    Damn...I see now that's when I fell into my next trap.... that American race gap.... but I can't blame the white man for that, I was born with 2 nothing ass parents, a stuck up family, and then the world sees me as I am, BLACK...

    SHIT... I took my first breath, and the deck stacked, by the time I took my first steps, I was down 5 laps,

    How can one dream, when you're so far back???? So I had to pick a side and tried to fill the gap,

    The streets taught me that, it's not on me. It's in me. It's the TRAP!!!!...............

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    I'm A Survivor

    I'm more than meets the eyes, why would I lie, I've struggle to survive, and that's with death close behind,

    I was a runaway at 7, in the system by 8, I learned to hustle by 9, and by 10, spot the real and the fakes,

    I continued to graduate, by 12 I had my own plate, a trigger man running into real estate's, every step contemplate,

    Seeing bands up my stakes, officially I'm apart of the crime rate, a young nigga living so fast, everything is press play,

    A young nigga with big mistakes, that's what happens when your left all alone young, with no safe place,

    I remember my family pushing grace, but at the same time they'd spit in your face, they'd steal your faith, and fuck over u every inch of the way,

    By 13 I was bitter, breaded and a winner, gamed up and a daily sinner, who wouldn't lose sleep or miss dinner,

    Go figure….

    I had my first child to feel loved, was scared to introduce her to family, cause they fuck blood,

    I thought having a child would slow down my thug, but it didn't work for long and I got hit with a few slug's,

    Paralyzed for 6 months, no hospital visits, same shit, no love,Fresh out the bed with 2 guns, and ammo in the hun's,

    Renewed and fresh anger, and a worser mean mug, I'm what they call a hard plug, no on or off button, a short circuit, malfunctioning one,

    I grew cocky through the years, I lived hard, I had fun, I jumped out of fancy cars, I fuck with the NRA, I collected gun's,

    I seen money in two commus, I've fucked bad women and lived it up, I did jail time for my niggas, I'm as solid as they come,

    I got shot a few more times, I really should have been one of the dead ones, I caught a murder at 21, and now I sit in prison trying to overcome,

  • stansteel63rd 7w


    I committed to the streets when I was 10, I said my last prayer to God sheltered up, in a porta potty, from the rain and the wind,

    That's when my anger and rage, settled in, and I found myself screaming "fuck'em all," at the top of my lungs, with my clothing soaked to my skin,

    And my heart growing more colder everyday to not even reflect upon my sins,
    Or to push back every underlining compromise to repent,
    Or to let another keep what they have, that would better my life, or to get me closer to how I would like to live,

    I sat in the darkness, that day with my heart and soul in a tailspin, with my tears, flowing like a wave crashing against my cheeks and chin, like the rocks on land, at shore's end,

    I knew that day….
    That moment….
    Or that min….
    I was taking my last breath as a kid,and every meal I would eat from now on, would be because of my own hands,

    There would be no one I could ever depend on,
    No family,
    No friend,
    It was all on me, until God took me in, and I swore on him, I wouldn't fold, break or bend, and I would do whatever it took to contend,

    Fuck another's life,and fuck it, if I had to died trying to live, or win, thats when my monster started to ascend, and I began to lose my adolescence, and I assembled an unkind man,
    That refused to be rejected again,by his parents,or his kin,

    I knew I was lost to the streets then, as I sat in that toilet bin, with my grip tightening around that F/N with that clip extend, taking them deep breaths in,

    The road to my end, had begin, as I dung in to them trenches and fast pay money trends, from the front porch to the backend, bangin, robbin, trappin, to bleeding them streets as a triggerman,

    No prayer could rescind, the humiliation,or horrific life I was forced to live, eating out the trash to clench the hunger, again and again, sleeping whatever the cold couldn't seep in, and keeping one eye open for male figures like my father Stan, a fuckin chameleon, just like a pedophile Bible thumbing uncollared clergyman,

    I refused to be his twin, preying on the innocent, playing with kids, fuck that shit, that ain't no man, I had to run up out that devil's den, and become $elfmade, and my own blend…..

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    Always A Monster

    I’ve seen monsters at an early age, it was my fathers, both step and biological,
    Both pathological, 2 men that should die alone,

    One on alcohol, and for the other one, crack called,
    The demons in their eyes, the trauma they applied, I would ask the Lord why??

    As I spent time locked in a closet and getting beat to the bone,
    I had to protect myself so I ran away from home,

    I’ve seen these men beat their wives they claim to love,from an inch of their lives,
    I heard their screams,
    I've witness their cries,
    It's still so vivid in my mind, the calls and smells my father used to manipulate my sister to his bedside,
    The craziness,
    The fights,
    I even still smell the bloodshed,and feel your disregard for our lives,

    I've tried to find…
    Something good from those times, but I am coming up empty, and demoralized, and again traumatized,

    I need answers, I need u to be honest, not rectify, or try and minimize all the bad times,to my mother Teresa A. lewis, the question is also applied,

    Why were u worse than the men, u brought into our lives,u never had a keen eye, for the good guys,but u knew when it was time for u to save u, and run and hide,

    Do any of you care? Or are you all just fuckin arrogant? Oh, I know, no one has confronted any of you to make y'all regret it,

    I remember every hole punched into the wall and every broken window, I even have the scars inside and out from every dilemma,

    Go figure 2 father's and not one to trust, all I can say is ashes to ashes and dust to dust,

  • stansteel63rd 7w

    "Change Go Come"

    Death is for everyone, it can be refreshing for some, or to soon, for one, in a world that promotes unprovoked violence, disloyalty and racism,

    I don't even know why we are astonished,or stunned by the violence that is done,
    I'm speaking upon….
    The shootings in our schools, our church,or place of work, to our capital being overrunned,

    I have to say what is done,is done, and can't be undone,the American traditional hate of one's color,and entitlement,We shall overcome,

    The resentment,to the grudges,should not continue to be build upon,nor should the unjust, continue to be precedent,or shone,

    Centuries have gone and come,and there was terror in this country before Al Qaeda, or Extremist Muslims,
    Hate had rose up,and won,the first time this country allowed a black America to be unjustifiably raped,or hung,

    We as black descents of slavery, and African tribalism, salute all colors, sexualities and creeds, for standing amongst and beside US, during this BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT,

    You have witness why we distrust, this government, and/or our justice system, that we help build, but get no credit for or love,

    We've been murdered,or died horrendous deaths for our freedom in this country or for this country in huns,
    Our bloodshed has made this continent a capitalist economic powerful one, and that's while knowing our graves have been predugged…..
    But in God we Trust.

  • stansteel63rd 7w


    I suffer from gang wars, and a lack of parental guidance in my youth,
    I'm living proof, being block made, is hard to re undo,

    As I grew up unattended, in them trenches, with limited choice's in my view,
    I had to put all the game that was given to me good or bad, to use,

    I was first introduced, to manipulative tongue twisting pimps and prostitutes,
    That removed your caution and gave you the feeling to be comfortable, with strangers is cool,

    And then I got schooled, to cooking Coco, like soul food, Stirring and stewing it to crack cubes, and bagging it up to be block distributed, and misused,

    Here's the menu..
    To part of that trap boys mandatory uniform issue,
    One chop, 2 extended clips, and an unregistered pistol, Under 10,
    A walkie-talkie or whistle, that's what make a trap boy official,

    It's also about what you're getting into, and how you handle that issue, and if you catch an enemy slipping, did you bust? It ain't no fen too's?

    This lifestyle provides a few codes, and few rules,
    That should never be, minimized, compromised or abused,
    Snitching is a no go..
    And that includes, hints or clues,
    Respect your oath and/or plague, never fold, remain true,


  • virahela 18w


    We are so different..
    Opposite, divergent
    But completing each other
    How I'm always like the sun
    Dancing bright
    In the morning light
    How you are like the moon
    Soothing calm and mystical
    In the dark of midnight
    We are so different..
    And distance apart
    But still
    Together feel so right