124 posts
  • rahoof 1w

    Crustacean people

    Crab man! - crab man! - Crab man!
    They yelled at me on my sister's wedding
    They yelled at me, for they saw me wearing
    A shell over my insecure skin

    They ask me not to hide from my kin
    Must remain comfortable in a family gathering
    surprise not in case we bring a scale
    dont be nervous, fail freely young man!

    Imagine what faces they make
    and how they weigh things with their eyes
    Cant help it When the scale Start tilting
    More and more over to the other side

    Yes, this is the life of a crab man
    who had grown keratin shells for his skin.
    Ask if he's tired of living with people
    who weighs shells with their own judgemental skin

    But just at the end of every occasion
    I grow a shell, thicker than the last one
    Just like a crab changing it's shell
    I prepare myself - for another season


  • cinxcin 2w

    Essential Tremor

    Something is really wrong with my brain, I got ET suddenly for something I usually do.

    Why the f ck my hand trembles just for cutting a piece of paper?

    I really don't know what to do.

  • anarekaeanar 2w

    Social anxiety

    The absolute reason I avoid social gathering...


  • rahoof 2w

    My euphoria of pain

    Of the many pain I have to go through everyday
    The one that I enjoy the most are the ones about her.
    You would ask, how does one pick favourites
    from their sufferings?
    But there is no other answers to that
    other than-
    "I have to go through this everyday."
    Even if I dont want to-
    My mind is packed with toxins for depression,
    And it decides to screw me often with general anxiety.

    Of the many pain I suffer, I like the most when I suffer thinking about her,
    It was always a kind of an euphoric sweet sensation of pain, acceptance and longing.
    One of the most enjoyable pain that I had ever felt.
    Closed chapter or a broken bridge you can call it whatever,
    you may ask for me to move on and spend more time with my family.
    To that I say,
    of the many few who gets me for who I am,
    family is not among them.

    They might ask,
    why are you being so hard on yourself, you have a roof over your head, you have food to eat, you have all your limbs and is not paralysed from the waist down like the most unfortunate.

    Yes, I am grateful for what I have
    But sometimes I crave for something more
    Than limbs more than food more than a house,
    When I crave for peace of mind.
    I think the most unfortunate people are the ones who fail to find peace for themselves.

    My first experience of anxiety was horrific.
    I even struggled to swallow food and water,
    And I got so fed up with my fear of failure,
    Even with all my limbs I had doubted every step I took with them.
    You can be the richest person of the planet and still end up being worthless
    If you cant find peace of mind.
    That's why people often say that money can't buy happiness
    For me, money is essential but its existence was always sceptical,
    It is funny how money often buys friends but not their loyalty,
    Wonder how it makes your father say that he is only proud If you find out a way
    to successfully make it by yourself.
    This often raises a series of questions that scrambles one's mind
    Wasn't he proud of me anyway?
    Wasn't he proud of being a father to a son that he gave life to?
    Why do you always have to be valued off of your success rather than your attempts to get there?

    The neglect, the isolation, abandonment
    Coupled with misfortune really test your will to live,
    Testing your will, for a reason not to take that final desicion.
    people often nearly end up deciding to tie a noose or to take a cold blade to their vein,
    Or an overdose of pills that doze you off to a never ending sleep,
    Or even wishing for a cardiac arrest on their deepest sleep for a painless death.
    All for proving a point,
    To make you people realise that the pain that they brag about everyday were true all along.
    Dont turn down a person even more if they are already feeling low, lonely or depressed.
    Sadly people end up feeling guilty only after the lose of a life.
    Technically this is not murder,
    but from the perspective of the people who end up committing suicide,
    Their experience of last days could never end up being more sorrowful than those lives inside Nazi concentration camps.
    So people should be held accountable for pushing them to that extreme.

    And from a person who suffers from the pain of uncontrollable racing thoughts,
    Who is struggling to even focus on the littlest things,
    who you blame their head is not at all there,

    Of the many things he suffer each day
    The best was always the ones about her.


  • pennamebreez 12w


    You made me feel stuck
    You made me feel gross
    You made me feel unwanted
    You made me feel like an inconvenience
    You made me feel ugly
    You made me feel like a waste
    You made me feel discarded
    You made me feel like a mistake
    You made feel powerless
    You made me feel worthless
    You made me feel inhuman
    You made me feel like a ruined day

    A ruined day that lasts forever...
    And there is no running from it
    There is no hiding from it
    There's just me, unmoving
    Unable to be whatever you wanted
    When I never really had a chance

    You made me feel like gum
    On the bottom of your shoe

    I did not deserve to feel that way


  • candicehasley96 16w

    Dear Anxiety Pt 2

    You're the reflection she see's when she looks in the mirror
    She's like a ghost you can see right through her
    She can't lie because the truth shows on her face
    Maybe she really has become a basket case
    She's keeping this short and simple
    Her anxiety has left her with no support and crippled

  • candicehasley96 27w

    Turning Back

    I sit silently in despair
    Nothing but a blank stare
    My walls are closing in on me
    I'm slowly decomposing
    What am I to do?
    All this shit I've been through
    It's getting bad again
    Just like how it was back then
    This smile no longer means anything
    What happened to being stronger?
    I can't think straight
    Filled with all this self hate
    Am I really awake?
    Please tell me this is all just a bad dream
    I need to release this anger
    I'm a danger to myself
    Someone help me
    Cause I'm turning back to the person I used to be

  • candicehasley96 34w

    I hate being myself because I can't be myself


  • muted_soul 40w

    Lost in an illusion to be the happiest ever after,
    Same noise everywhere making me anxious,
    Silver plated dinner which never tasted the best anymore,
    Reminded of the duty of unhappiness never paid the priceless before,
    Walls around me started squeezing me asking questions which are out of my league,
    Never letting out the pain trusting the odd world,
    Never finding a gate to let myself go the way it needs,
    Dreamt of a moon which still gonna stay moon and dream as it is,
    Never trying to blend with the tangled up situation,
    Thinking of all this I'm just stuck in a maze of the people around me...

  • _soliloquy_ 40w


    Words shuffle in a closed tunnel
    Phrases adjoin to a kaleidoscope
    A patterned sequence of dialogues
    Projected upon an unfaltered mind

    With every slight twist of tube
    A new pattern displays onscreen
    The randomness of events cast
    A stimulant till the judgement day

    The day unplanned, just as planned
    Well trained yet nervously shivering
    A rigid mindset to an altering system
    On a snap it went, to the panic mode 

    As patterns gush on a single turn
    The mind juggles to capture chaos
    Tries to make sense of the bedlam
    As the shards of words slit through 
    Looking up to catch their response

    A tiny boundary framed by words
    Deeply engrossed in their own circle
    The panel of judges stand eerily still
    Just as baffled by their ignored folly

    Never was there anyone to impress
    Life's mischievous prank well played
    Neither the juror was ever to judge
    Nor the performer ever to perform


  • muted_soul 41w

    Invisibly not fine!

    I feel a huge pain in my throat which blocks me from breathing,
    Tears in my eyes and unexplainable wounds feeding me with numerous judgements,
    I'm not an heavenly angel to be perfect... I'm just a human having flaws like others which aren't the same,
    Large void filled in my mind with arguments of too many running like a tape with which my face still stays in its rest,
    Killing myself with having patience is something unsorted array of living in hell pretending to be fine,
    Body aches by doing nothing is so painful of how it is to live not just being a gender or the flaws but something hits even more hard staying alive bleeding invisibly.

  • rapsnaps 43w

    You ever try and say something you #Thought but when #thinking those #Thoughts you #Process way to much by #Creating a #collision that’s continuously colliding? #overwhelmed & swarmed with #Anxiety lost in that cloud of your #SocialAnxiety 🥴

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    Minds Collision

    The process in thinking
    When processing your thoughts
    Is retrieving that thought
    Before it’s processed then forgot

  • tusi456 46w

    A Pity!

    Head stuffed with nonsense
    Imma lose my innocence
    You know that I've got social anxiety
    Oh, what a pity!

    People twisting their faces in a mock laugh
    But the land around my heart is rugged.
    Still you wanna hear me talk?
    Sorry but I can't!
    Have I become a rock?

    Though your words bring me real pain,
    Constantly grinding my brain
    All you people do is criticize.
    So here I am! Pressing F11
    And all my sufferings minimize!

    Say this,say that
    Talk it out, patpat.
    Grow up! Cope up!
    Put a stop to your hypocrisy
    It makes me wanna throw up.

    Living through this
    A crazy crisis.

    Socializing! Interacting!
    Thinking of these
    Gives me the creeps.
    Oh, what a pity!
    Screw your toxic positivity
    I now choose melancholy
    It at least provides a sense of stability
    And brings me peace.

    —Fatiha Mohsin Tusi

  • poetryly 46w

    Image credit - Bitmoji app

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    Social Anxiety

    Taciturn, she sits among
    her familiar negative thoughts.
    Their relentless voices bringing
    her self-esteem down to size.

    this isn’t the first time
    they hijacked her social arena,
    in a coat of gray.

    If they’re readily given
    psychological carte blanche,
    they would continually clothe
    her in their negated midst.

    causing her to adorn
    her socially inept as
    a forlorn clothing line
    they personally designed.

  • theyellowwallflower 48w

    I'd Rather Be Myself

    I'm feeling incongruous already,when I see you there
    Your perfect posture,your poised air
    You clink your glass for a toast
    Right as I spill wine all over my clothes.
    "Oh shit"I hiss,and am met with sympathetic smiles
    But yeah,I don't miss you rolling your eyes.
    I am used to such disapproving looks and exasperated sighs
    But I am learning how to conduct myself better-trust me,I'm trying.
    The back handed remarks don't help,especially when you just put up a facade of being wise.
    You may call me embarrassing,but atleast my personality isn't built on lies
    I would much rather be a dancing misfit than the Belle of the ball
    I am not afraid of owning up to my mistakes- I'll get back up every time I trip and fall.
    So what if I am a bit of beginner to social cues
    I don't ever put people down if they have contrasting views.
    I might be a weirdo-and someday I'll grow out of it
    But you will always be mean-I have no doubt of it.
    I'd rather laugh too loudly with my friends than suppress my feelings just to look polished
    Shoot me all the looks you want,my joyful spirit won't ever be demolished.

  • cactuspenguin 49w

    (Oh, if only I could count the number of times I've felt this way. What a time.)

    You watch them smile and laugh. With each passing moment, you hope that someone will pipe up and address you in any shape or fashion. You know you can't do it yourself, because you can already envision the uncomfortable looks they'll give you if you try and force yourself into the conversation, cementing the hatred you know they already have for you.

    Besides, you've never been great at small talk, and small talk is what everybody says leads to friendship, alongside "being yourself", which makes no sense, as you don't know how you can be yourself with people you're supposed to make small-talk with.

    You repeat this thought process over and over again until it's familiar, and the clock ticks and ticks along with your racing heart. Your chest is hot with a dull ache that seems to take away your ability to breathe, making a lump rise to your throat. Tears spring to your eyes, and you have to hold them back, as there's still a million people around, and you know someone will see you losing it. You know they'll take pity on you and always look at you with pity. They'll whisper about you and see you as the lonely loser kid for the rest of your time here. Surely no one will want to talk to you.

    But you can't leave either. Because you want to talk. You want to make friends. You want to be loved. And if you leave, you may miss out on the once-in-a-lifetime chance of someone wanting to start a conversation, or the opportunity to crack a joke, or the incredibly rare yet oh, so priceless conversation where everything happens naturally and you don't have to worry about the other person hating you. You know it can happen. But you have to be in the room first.

    But you don't know how to talk to anyone, so you stay there, silent, festering, wasting away, lonely in a room full of people, listening to that ever-present chatter, hoping for company that never seems to come.

    #writingcontest #creativearena #socialanxiety #sad #anxiety #emo #ahyes

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    The loneliest moment...

    The loneliest moment in someone's life is being surrounded by people and not knowing how to talk to them.

    ©Cactus Penguin

  • miss_lyss 50w


    Tight chest
    Heart pounding
    Can’t breathe

    Mind racing
    Can’t speak

    But what i to say is

    “I’m scared all the time.
    What do I say, how do I sit, how do I look, what are they thinking, am I doing okay, am I coming off as a bitch?

    So worried of what others see and think when I know it shouldn’t matter.

    Why does it matter?

    The things that we worry about are pointless, yet we still worry
    I still worry and get scared,
    Nervous and afraid cause as soon as step outside I feel as if a spotlight is right on me and everyone can see my flaws that I try to cover for the outside world.
    Refusing to show any vulnerability,
    But knowing it would so freeing to be vulnerable.
    How courageous would it be to be authentic and true to myself.
    How brave.

    If only I could allow myself that freedom.
    Maybe I can allow myself.
    I want to allow myself.
    To be free
    To be myself
    How bad could it be?

    But I could be judged
    Looked at,
    No, stared at
    I could be made fun of
    Thrown under the bus, literally and figuratively.

    But I guess I could succeed and maybe even be happy?
    I could be happy...

    I just want to be happy.”

    That’s what I would say.


  • candicehasley96 52w


    Sometimes I want to be loved
    Sometimes I want to be alone
    I'm like a drone up above
    Watching from a distance
    And questioning my existence
    Sometimes I feel alive
    Sometimes I feel lifeless
    I'm like a virus ready to thrive
    Attacking my own body
    And slowly becoming a zombie

  • candicehasley96 52w

    Black Hole

    I found myself reluctantly crawling back to the black hole I had escaped from, and
    I tried to retreat but there is this gravitational force sucking the little desire I had left in my heart; I know I have lost this battle.

  • healednarcissist 62w

    Hi, mates! New to Mirakee... I used to be someone with a very toxic personality, NPD- Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If you are not familiar with NPD it is a mental personality disorder characterized by pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for an admiration, and lack of emphaty.

    Yes! I thought I was born super special that the world needs me. Unfortunately, this was just my distorted point of view. Saddest, it was so difficult for me to love others too, and that does not excludes my family from my case.

    I know some of you may find me ridiculous and disgusting, and I agree, I was! However, this was my past! Through the graciousness of God, I am a changed person now. I am human too! I've learned to love, to care, to emphatize. And, I want to share that there is hope for every narcissist, suicidal, socially anxious and depressive. I've been there so I know. I know you can overcome it too! Talk to me let's be friends! Welp, Jesus is the best listener so I highly advice.

    #mentalhealth #personality #advocate #positivelife #narcissist #closetnarcissism #suicidal #depression #socialanxiety #hope #Christ #Jesus

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    Narcissists Can Change Too

    I was a closet narcissist,
    I was suicidal.
    I was unexpectedly a pessimist,
    I was depressed.
    I used to have a distorted view of myself:
    That, I am unique, superior, and special.
    I used to think people should admire me for that.
    So, I hated them when my expectations were not met.
    I really thought the world hated me
    But, it is I, the first one who have hated the world.
    Now, through Christ here I am changed...
    And, I'll be here for you when you need a friend to listen 'cause that is what we are for.