#skitzo

3 posts
  • full_auto 31w

    Appointment

    Doctor I have something I need to get off my chest.... you see, you say your interests are for my best... but so far you've only given me pills to take, you seem like you listen but are you even awake... your
    MAKING us INTO A TICKING TIME BOMBs ABOUT TO GO OFF
    1.  BOOM LIKE BOMBS DO and I'm feeling stuck in this room I hate your perfume and can you turn off this tune this has been on repeat since I got here at noon. And the doctor has this to say ,"Beau, I'm sorry no we are out of time
    2. Let's just make sure to take your medications combined 
    3. swallow these you'll feel much better and give it some time
    4. I know it's only nine different kinds this time but just
    5. mix them together because each one is designed
    6.  to kill the thoughts in your mind
    7. so you forget you even wanted to become better
    8.  and if this doesnt make you die or kill another
    9. come back and I'll let you pay me to sit and act like you matter
    10. but I honestly I could care less, you see, I'm just like an actor
    11.   the truth is , I'm not your mother im just a doctor."
    ©beaubearic

  • full_auto 37w

    If you read this entire song I poetically put together I will love you long time

    1. Your just a skitzo like me with no purpose basic--allee/
    2. and it stings like a Bee for you to simply agree/
    3. cuz split personalities dont always see equally
    4.  and we lose focus so quickly cuz of that damned a-d-h-d/
    5.  so we sit here in therapy sessions so they can fill prescriptions that have no intentionz to help me/
    6.  it only numbs me to sleep/waking up more crazy than I was previously/
    7. so my symptoms are worsening/ and they feed me more but less carefully/
    8.  adding to my disorders its disorderly /
    9. conduct inside the cranium what if outside I believe I'm titanium/
    10.  and that's why i blew up that stadium /
    11. and that's why I shot  everyone that got in front of my gun
    12.  that's why I killed those innocent ones along with those deserving some
    13. /that's why you cant explain the evil that was done
    14.  /too much confusion and no reason conceivable to anyone
    15. such a nice boy he WAS, he couldnt OF, because he showed too much LOVE to be the person on the news that their speaking OF
    16. but what if he was drowning in a chemically induce delirium/
    17. and he cried out for help but no one was hearing him
    18.  and having no one on my team and with no shoulder for me to lean
    19.  With dark dreams screaming at me to do devilish and murderous things
    20. And I have No second voice to make me rethink things
    21.  and i thought the drugs would help at least they were cheap /and at least they weren't bought on the street
    22. So my purchase couldnt charge me criminally I practically got them for free
    23. / cuz you see a licensed doctor gave these to me/ told me to take as described and so why wouldnt I take them blind
    24. /not questioning anything he prescribed
    25. cuz he has that PHD you know that fancy degree
    26. so hed never endanger me certainly he will do what's best for me I mean
    27. it was only that one time I came too running from the police
    28. in a stolen car at a hundred and twenty three/
    29.  and it was only that one time I came out of an episode with blood covering me
    30. /that one time got me murder in the first degree
    31. /  it got me life in prison / all because I took what the doctor gave me/
    32.  and I even asked myself in the beginning
    33. what's the worst that could happen clearly
    34.  I'm bullied cuz I'm socially awkward it makes me feel like insanity
    35. Believe me and it's not like I'm wasting my time in therapy
    36.  /now that would be crazy
    37.  remember real heros are the ones who dont sit and watch silently/
    38.  that kid who wont fight back ya that was me
    39. and my antidepressants psychologically made me a psychopath
    40.  I came back to school on a war path
    41.  with a nine in my back pack
    42. clip packed with intent so bad
    43.  and the weapon was so easy to grab
    44.  cuz i know where my step dad keeps it in the night stand
    45.   if only someone had given me a chance and got to know me
    46. maybe that would have kept me from feeling so lonely
    47.   could have kept me from intoxicating my brain activity/
    48.  but unfortunately/ theres no going back in history/ and it seems the path i got handed was perfectly/ paved by major pharmacies/
    49.  and it ended with them locking me up and throwing away the key/ wasnt even lucky enough to get the death penalty
    50. and I'm reaching out to you the abused who became the accused
    51.  more angry evertime you recieved a bruise the one who was assumed to lose
    52.  before they got up to prove/ trying to laugh it off fading with every pill popped
    53.  like a knot on my brain it was the drug companies making me clinically insane
    54. all random events due to careless prescription slips
    55.  and now my family is depressed
    56.  getting dirt on them for being a relative
    57.   it's all flipped into a domino effect
    58. Happened overnight and I dont even remember my crimes
    59. blacked out and when I came too my live was threw
    60. and it's only getting worse
    61.  as long as they take how we feel as symptoms of disorders
    62.  and nurse us with pills to pop
    63.   Dr. POPULATION control should be the one shot
    MAKING us INTO A TICKING TIME BOMBs ABOUT TO GO OFF
    1.  BOOM LIKE BOMBS DO and he has this to say I'm sorry no we are out of time
    2. Let's just make sure to take your medications combined 
    3. swallow these you'll feel much better and give it some time
    4. I know it's only nine different kinds
    5. mixed together and each one is designed
    6.  to kill the thoughts in your mind
    7. so you forget you even wanted to become better
    8.  and if this doesnt make you die or kill another
    9. come back and I'll let you pay me to sit and act like you matter
    10. but I honestly Icould care less, you see, I'm just like an actor
    11.   the truth is , I'm not your mother im just a doctor
    ©beaubearic

  • sincerelychanz 191w

    #struggles #skitzo #mentallyill #learningtolove
    When your mother is mentally ill and it takes you 18 years to deal with it. Jahbless

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    Your world or mine

    I live my life apart from yours
    Although I am a part of yours
    You see the spirit world and things unthinkable.
    To me,
    I see normal and I feel stable.
    What is wrong with you,
    Why don't you see you're not well,
    What's wrong with me why can't I see I am not well.
    Two different worlds,
    We both think ours is the correct one
    All because mine is the same as the next person...
    But different from yours...
    I think my life's more stable than yours.
    When will it be over,
    When will it end,
    When will I learn to be just a friend?
    When will you see me?
    When will I see you?
    When will we understand all things are passing too
    Except love, I love you.
    I know you love me too.

    ©upurnoggin