I wish I told u, I wish I didn't have to lie to you, I wish I spoke as truly to u as u love me, I wish I didn't keep any secrets from you, I wish u knew what I am up to, I wish you knew the actual 'me'.
I wish I didn't have to wish for all of these, and that all of these were not just wishes but actuality, reality. I wish that I sleep as peacefully as you do, I wish I say 'I love u too' - I wish I mean it too.
U ask me what I want from you - I say 'nothing' - how can I ask for anything? It's because of me that you lost everything. I want to speak to you, for you are my lover- but how can I? I am the cheater, I am the sinner. This is what I deserve- high and drunk - I shall be with you- oh yes! now you are the gym's cool punk. I will be with you even if I don't want to, hold your hand, and kiss you- I'll do everything- everything that I never actually wanted to - but now I need to - I have to. For I broke you - this is my way to pay you- make it up to you - I'll surely say 'yes I love you too' but you must know that it's not true, it's one of the 'have tos' I don't 'want to' love you. I don't want you.