#selfhate

338 posts
  • geo_dude 4w

    Self - hate

    What happens?
    If I treat people
    Like "they treat me?"

    What If I do so?
    Am I a true person?
    According to my heart??
    Is that my style?
    Definitely NO !
    I don't have guts
    To stand for my self
    To treat people like shit!

    What if I do so?
    What if?
    Just few seconds later,
    I'll be dying in guilt \(°o°)/
    That's me (。ŏ﹏ŏ)
    Sometimes......
    maybe most of the time,
    I hate this me in me ┌(・。・)┘♪

    ©geo_dude

  • mindscapeofamy_95 6w

    There are days,
    When you just want to stay in bed
    And do nothing.
    The world ceases to exist
    The chatter of people seem distant
    The things you cared for don't matter anymore
    The ones trying to hold conversations with you
    Unfortunately are speaking to themselves.
    You don't know why it is so
    You cannot find the starting point
    Or fathom how it would end.
    Or would it?
    You want to scream
    You wish to shatter a glass
    You want to rip something apart
    You wish more pain to yourself
    Than already exists
    Sigh! Am I depressed?
    ©mindscapeofamy_95

  • kingwordss 9w

    I Forgive Me

    "A Dirty filthy manipulative trash " I call myself names like that,
    A hypocrite that gives out all the love, that he himself doesn't have.
    "A dirty filthy deceiving trash " I tell myself I'm exactly that ,
    A bully that uses tricks,to get all the love he wants to have .

    I'm a victim of a war against myself,
    I'm the villain that wants the hero's glory,
    I'm the one that place curses on myself ,
    I'm the maleficent of my Disney story.

    I say I hate myself for things I have done,
    I say I deserve pain and every bad thing that comes,
    I kill myself daily because some deeds can't be undone,
    But now I'm a prisoner that is ready to move on .

    I deserve better than this self hate,
    I can end up better than my imagined fate ,
    I've hurt people but I'm only human,
    I am not God but I'm definitely no Satan .

    Kingzwordss
    ©kingwordss

  • samridhi_sometimes 12w

    Today she is starving herself just to fit in those jeans, look at herself in mirror and bleed her eyes till she neglects and abandons herself once again.
    Today she is starving herself to point where her skin starts to crave her bones and her body let's her go, away from what feels like home.

    ©samridhi_sometimes

  • poetryfaith12 13w

    Addicted

    She slowly inhales the gray smoke
    The burning sensation intensifies
    Her nose becoming raw from all the coke
    The redness is slowly overtaking the whites of her eyes

    Blood no longer flows
    Short raspy breathing
    Body thin, organs disposed
    My lungs deflating and the oxygen is bleeding

    Exposed thoughts causing pain
    Not only to me, but my loved ones
    Marijuana heals my brain
    From the curse speaking in tongues
    ©PoetryFay12

  • broken_halo 13w

    You don't know me

    You don't know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep and never want to wake up
    You don't know what it's like to cut yourself just to lash out because you can't lash out to anyone else
    You don't know what it's like to stand in the mirror and feel worthless
    You don't know what it's like to be called names that echo in your mind to the point where it actually feels like they are the real you
    You don't know what it's like to hate yourself for just being yourself
    So don't tell me you know me...
    ©broken_halo

  • tokingbetweenthelines 17w

    Why do I write
    when everything I have to say
    has already been said
    so much better, so many times?
    Too much time alone
    is no good,
    no good for any man
    who's trying at the race,
    who's taking part in the performance.
    I thought I wrote poetry,
    but really, I just berate myself
    with written word
    and pin it up on the wall
    for you to swipe away;
    a strange, modern age
    social media sadomasochism
    that does nothing for me.
    I wanted my words to bring life
    into the ones I love,
    I couldn't bear to see them
    subjected to slow murder
    and accepting it as all there is.
    I wanted to show them art,
    I thought I could help;
    but I lack it.
    The resilience,
    the drive,
    the talent;
    whatever it is,
    I don't have it.
    I'm nothing at all.
    Just dried shit on
    the sole of your shoe.
    Scrape me off,
    I'm finished.
    ©tokingbetweenthelines

  • dark_sunshine_01 17w

    I am right..... Right?

    They call you beautiful
    "you're blessed with this gift"
    All they see is this
    When they don't know
    The price I pay

    I break hearts.....
    I hurt people.....
    I choke their feelings
    And emotions to death
    I feel responsible
    For somebody else's deeds

    I burn out of guilt
    And I want this to end
    Only if I could quit
    Being the way I am

    I don't sleep at nights
    I keep apologizing everyone
    To them for loving me
    I am not what you think of me

    My eyes don't turn suddenly blue
    My hair doesn't fly in the wind
    Don't keep these memories stuck as glue
    M not that of a beauty
    which you discover in me

    Them who felt for me were good people
    There were men and women
    They faced something they never deserved
    And They suffered bcz of me


    I know it CANNOT be helped
    No matter how much I try
    I feel sorry for them and
    I never feel tear-dry

    a blessing they call it
    I call it a curse
    When I've intentionally killed souls
    To keep safe mine
    ©dark_sunshine_01

  • paranoidismarie 20w

    Morning Routine

    What in agglomeration this body is
    slapped together aimlessly
    so many pieces to sort through
    let's start with the philtrum
    or shall we discuss my morning routine
    you see this puzzle can wait
    I awake eyes open my soul shivers within white knuckles throbbing
    my spirit is ripped from my body
    scattered about
    lifelessly waiting for today's misery
    choked by my soul as it's force fed back down my throat
    it's volatile and grotesque
    worst thing I've ever wrote
    things never fit the same way once it's shredded and broke
    internally weeping I sigh instead of screaming to my feet I must go
    showing no weakness
    I donnot falter
    I walk barefoot out the door
    as I stare up into the empyrean
    tears stain my cheeks
    I'm fine I lie to myself out of grief
    normalcy is this
    I continue on as my suffering within peaks

    ©paranoidismarie

  • charfire_m 23w

    303 am 100% mothers inside charging
    I feel at my lowest level, I feel like I know I have to use this time to really see who I am and what I want, I can get their; You're only as strong as your weakness link.
    305 a.m. 100%
    ©charfire_m

  • tokingbetweenthelines 26w

    For me

    You think I don't hear your screams.
    You think I don't ache with you.

    Don't you know that
    My heart wilts,
    With every tear you shed?

    Don't you know that
    Our souls are one?

    Don't you know that
    If you go,
    I go with you?

    Please, my sweet;
    I'll kiss the blood back into your wrists
    Hold on,
    Hold onto me,
    Hold onto me.
    ©tokingbetweenthelines

  • pi_infinite 31w

    A wish to the mirror on my wall

    I wish that my body
    Finally felt like my own.
    I wish I could stop
    Obsessively tucking
    At the soft of my sides
    With fingertips stained
    To the bone with judgement
    Leaving hurtful marks
    On aging skin.
    I wish I could stop
    Analyzing myself
    As if numbers could ever
    Do justice to a body,
    Wish I could stop
    Weaponizing the disappointment
    And hate of others
    Against my own reflection,
    Wish I could show myself kindness,
    Wish I could overcome
    The indoctrination
    Of my socialization.
    I wish I could start
    Showing love to myself
    Like I do to the world
    And everyone else,
    I wish I could look
    Into a mirror
    And recognize myself,
    Be happy to see
    That I am doing fine.
    I wish that one day
    I will finally learn
    To appreciate my curves,
    My asymmetries,
    And above all,
    My humanity.

    ~p.t.

  • aishu0319 32w

    Anxiety

    One thing I hate about myself
    Is that I'm never at peace with myself.
    ©aishu0319

  • stevenseidel 40w

    These memories seem to cycle day by day, never to go away
    #trauma #substanceabuse #selfhate #guilt #mentalillness

    Read More

    Dream of a life more mild

    Mother and kin
    Hope's in a bin
    Are suicide pacts all that been?

    Can't we just turn down the dial?
    The children are all riled
    Maybe just for a little while?
    To dream of a life more mild

    It's all about to spiral

    So it comes in 1, 2, 3, 4
    But I'm looking for more
    Shaking to the core
    These thoughts I can't ignore
    Loathing in disguise to lure
    To set myself up again just like before
    This must be the cure
    Or nevermore

    It's not just my skin I tore

    Head's breaking
    Vices taking and taking
    Am I just faking?
    What am I supposed to be making?
    Absent every moment, never waking

    It's what from who I'm found taking

    A mirrors' reflection, not myself
    Someone else
    It seems I've been left up on a shelf
    Who is this vile self?

    Pretty colors are supposed to be comforting?
    But this part's suffering

    It's this nothing that needs to mean something

    Head hurting, too loud, maybe I'll curl to sleep
    Into a place quiet and deep
    Surely this I'll reap
    For the guilt tends to creep
    Never to leave for a wink or a weep

    It's a plea for an eternal goodbye slumber, kind and neat

    ©stevenseidel

  • stevenseidel 40w

    From Head to Toe

    Something itching
    A guilt bewitching
    Without choice I surrender any, all resisting
    Old memories hidden beneath mental strewn stitching
    Digging in is blood enriching
    Soul switching

    I begin to see
    The pain that had to be
    There was a she
    Combusting me

    Descending World all but crashing
    Memories flashing

    I see your scars head to toe
    Oh this hurts me the pain you show
    No I can't stand to see you go
    I'm right here don't you know?
    You didn't need to sink this low

    ...

    To what and who do you atone?
    Is it the love you haven't let yourself known
    Your body is all but marks and bone
    Remembering your eyes --it was warmth they'd shown
    Mental picture faded, only see the dead abyssal drone

    So sorry I couldn't help then
    Was forced to condemn
    Leaving you all alone, will you mend?
    All I've ever seen is break, no bend
    Desired self destruction, how will you fend?

    Too scared to see if you're alive
    If you took the deep dive
    Off a cliff with your mind in a hive
    Or did you struggle to strive
    Ending up someone to despise
    Someway I helped in your demise

    This I'll never know
    And this burden I'll tow
    Lest I sink deep in prescribed rocking row
    Taken by undertow

    But a pill's failure could let me last
    Maybe a great big shotgun blast
    Just to escape the past
    Other ways could be just as fast
    This truly, what I've been tasked
    As I sit looking down at an empty flask
    My skin feels but a plastic mask
    Underneath lurks a rot to kill all in mass

    But I'll drown this too
    Just like all these other thoughts, this can't be new
    I'm here now because of you
    Your effects I never knew
    So I'll keep wondering without a clue

    ©stevenseidel

  • lanmakes 41w

    Instagram: @LanMakes

    Trigger warning: self harm, suicidal, mental illness

    Before fourteen
    I remember
    I used to look in the mirror and wonder
    Why is that person such an ugly girl

    I remember
    I used to be in my classes and
    Wondering how my life would end

    I remember
    How worthless I felt breathing
    And how hard it was to keep living

    Life was a warzone and I was surviving
    I am a survivor because I tried my best trying
    Trying, to live and I kept fighting
    Fighting against my own mind
    I
    Had these marks
    that can be considered as battlescars
    Or tiger stripes from the dark

    They were definitely marks
    I drew on my wrist with a pencil
    In the shape of a triangle
    But then it revealed red ink

    I now think,
    I am not a piece of paper to draw on
    I am a piece of artwork
    Who belongs in the gallery
    For being such a beautiful girl

    No one deserves to go through the same pain
    Self love is a journey and I’m still on my way
    I’m brighter than any star in the sky or any flame
    I’m now falling in love with myself every single day

    #cees_tp_chall #mirakee #challenge #topicprompt #battlescars #prompt #selfharm #selflove #selfhate #writerscommunity #writersnetwork #poetry #poem #mentalhealth #mentalillness

    Read More

    I'm a Survivor

    ©LanMakes/theCEOofH2O

  • achos_ 43w

    Not a good writer by any means, but hopefully I got my point across.
    #reflection #love #heartbreak #weak #loss #selfhate #thoughts

    Read More

    Monster

    A once burning flame so bright
    Even at night the light would shine and keep us warm
    In wrapped in love I thought we were
    Now entrapped
    Snuffing out the flame
    All but me to blame
    Blindly in love but no longer anymore
    Flustered and enraged you curse my name
    Now blinded by your newly fostered hate
    Unable to see me shattered in pieces
    You mistake me for a monster
    A monster through and through
    The monster still infatuated with you
    In disbelief I begin to change for you
    All for you
    And what do you do
    Unable to see past the blinding rage
    Grasping my heart and throwing it away
    No matter the pain you put me through
    I know I’m the monster
    I’m sorry I wish I could change
    Weary and cold with no more flame
    I close my eyes never to wake and buried with all the blame
    ©achos_

  • whatcangoright_7 44w

    I loved you because I thought you could save me by helping me freeing myself from my ugly-fat anxieties but you just try to wrap me in love, but baby having me just for love will not be enough.. free me.
    ©whatcangoright_7

  • ndichuu 46w

    THE BIG TOWN OF MUMBAI.

    It all started with a hi.
    But he wanted something high.
    So he strengthened our bond as time went by.
    Sexy was my thigh.
    But just a minor of five years was what I,
    Was, in the big town of Mumbai.

    This is an outcry of molest.
    A surreal I call a nightmare.
    An ugly picture of abuse.
    A sculptor of hate, disdain, guilt and self hate.
    From a girl in the big town of Mumbai.

    I didn't know what it was.
    I didn't know what was it's cause.
    Painted with the colours of lust.
    Sang with the voices of mourns.
    Woke up with a sore body everyday.
    With my eyes red, writing off the night's history.
    A history that everyone ignored.

    This is an outcry of molest.
    A surreal I call a nightmare.
    An ugly picture of abuse.
    A sculptor of hate, disdain, guilt and self hate.
    From a girl in the big town of Mumbai.

    It was a home filled with people.
    But I was still lonely and feeble.
    The moon always lit the nights.
    But no one saw what happened behind the door.
    His smile symbolised pain.
    And was coupled with his deep set of eyes,
    That dug beyond my underwear.
    And for me, everyday all was too much to bear.

    This is an outcry of molest.
    A surreal I call a nightmare.
    An ugly picture of abuse.
    A sculptor of hate, disdain, guilt and self hate.
    From a girl in the big town of Mumbai.

    Sounds of fear.
    Voices of conundrum.
    Colours of hate.
    Paintings of death-wish.
    A place I was to call a home.
    Broke me to shreds, I had no home.
    Feel the words that are bleeding,
    From a heart crying for stitches.
    And a soul crying for a 'rest in peace'.

    This is an outcry of molest.
    A surreal I call a nightmare.
    An ugly picture of abuse.
    A sculptor of hate, disdain, guilt and self hate.
    From a girl in the big town of Mumbai.

    ~Ndichu.~

    #mirakee #rape #molest #pain #suicidalthoughts #suicide #pain #fear #selfhate #abuse #death #deathwish #sorebody #hate #stitches #disdain #guilt #Mumbai #nightmare #outcry #lust #mourns #underwear #toomuchtobear #restinpeace #redeyes #ignorance

    Read More

    Sounds of fear.
    Voices of conundrum.
    Colours of hate.
    Paintings of death-wish.
    A place I was to call a home.
    Broke me to shreds, I had no home.
    Feel the words that are bleeding,
    From a heart crying for stitches.
    And a soul crying for a 'rest in peace'.

    This is an outcry of molest.
    A surreal I call a nightmare.
    An ugly picture of abuse.
    A sculptor of hate, disdain, guilt and self hate.
    From a girl in the big town of Mumbai.


    ©ndichuu

  • dikshaaverma 60w

    I feel that whenever someone tries to motivate you .. it makes u feel pressurized.. and it kills ur inner inspiration..
    #motivation #inspiration #irony #conflict #selfhate #anxiety #depression #stress #pressure

    Read More

    I feel
    Motivation kills Inspiration

    ©dikshaaverma