It felt kinda relieved when I tested positive I thought it'll be the end of me and somehow I really wished that it should go to an extreme where there will be no coming back. And on the other hand, It felt I guess not, I need to live, I'll have to live and be better for my people. But now I'm having second thoughts was all worth it? Cuz some people have everything but they have to leave it all behind. It hurts to see when they wanted to live but they couldn't, I wish I could take away their pain and help them out of their misery and mine. It would have been a win-win situation for both of us.