Here I lie again, in bed. With thoughts and glimpses of you in my head.
Dizzy spells of the past that seem to forever last. I'm Exhausted. At times consumed by the memory of my hearts crippling pain. All those sacrifices just in vain. Shadows of the version of you I once loved still dwell. They make me want to yell. Vision turned into a nauseating delusion. So sick of feeling this way. So much to be said but knowing you could careless anyway. Prayer is my solace. Pain is my darkness. The recent events just broke me even more. I'm so insignificant to you that I'm the one you still choose to ignore. Not worthy enough to be seen by you. So easy to make a promise to but in the end you still choose not to pull through. You're not the man I fell in love with. You've retracted to that insecure man that I met. Instead of building yourself up, you've let darkness be your everlasting breath. In the end, I want to forget. Not love you or loathe you. I just want to not look back with regret. I pray to speed up the healing process to bring forth indifference.
That beautiful notion is all I crave because only then will my heart, mind, body and soul be anew.