#racingthoughts

14 posts
  • rahoof 1w

    This silence which I am trapped in surrounds me like an incomprehensible cotton ball.
    Where I find myself held down to a nailed out plank.
    From where I struggle to make a comeback.

    I am lost in a murky lake of blankness,
    in a motionless heathen of debilitating silence.
    I row my boat in hopes of finding Something
    Clear open blue and bright.
    Instead I found my paddles stuck in between
    Muddy roots of a shallow lake.

    -on depression

    ©rahoof

  • rahoof 7w

    Crustacean people
    ..............................


    Crab man! - crab man! - Crab man!
    They yelled at me on my sister's wedding
    They yelled at me, for they saw me wearing
    A shell over my insecure skin

    They ask me not to hide from my kin
    Must remain comfortable in a family gathering
    surprise not in case we bring a scale
    dont be nervous, fail freely young man!

    Imagine what faces they make
    and how they weigh things with their eyes
    Cant help it When the scale Start tilting
    More and more over to the other side

    Yes, this is the life of a crab man
    who had grown keratin shells for his skin.
    Ask if he's tired of living with people
    who weighs shells with their own judgemental skin

    But just at the end of every occasion
    I grow a shell, thicker than the last one
    Just like a crab changing it's shell
    I prepare myself - for another season


    ©rahoof

  • rahoof 8w

    My euphoria of pain
    ...................................


    Of the many pain I have to go through everyday
    The one that I enjoy the most are the ones about her.
    You would ask, how does one pick favourites
    from their sufferings?
    But there is no other answers to that
    other than-
    "I have to go through this everyday."
    Even if I dont want to-
    My mind is packed with toxins for depression,
    And it decides to screw me often with general anxiety.

    Of the many pain I suffer, I like the most when I suffer thinking about her,
    It was always a kind of an euphoric sweet sensation of pain, acceptance and longing.
    One of the most enjoyable pain that I had ever felt.
    Closed chapter or a broken bridge you can call it whatever,
    you may ask for me to move on and spend more time with my family.
    To that I say,
    of the many few who gets me for who I am,
    family is not among them.

    They might ask,
    why are you being so hard on yourself, you have a roof over your head, you have food to eat, you have all your limbs and is not paralysed from the waist down like the most unfortunate.

    Yes, I am grateful for what I have
    But sometimes I crave for something more
    Than limbs more than food more than a house,
    When I crave for peace of mind.
    I think the most unfortunate people are the ones who fail to find peace for themselves.

    My first experience of anxiety was horrific.
    I even struggled to swallow food and water,
    And I got so fed up with my fear of failure,
    Even with all my limbs I had doubted every step I took with them.
    You can be the richest person of the planet and still end up being worthless
    If you cant find peace of mind.
    That's why people often say that money can't buy happiness
    For me, money is essential but its existence was always sceptical,
    It is funny how money often buys friends but not their loyalty,
    Wonder how it makes your father say that he is only proud If you find out a way
    to successfully make it by yourself.
    This often raises a series of questions that scrambles one's mind
    Wasn't he proud of me anyway?
    Wasn't he proud of being a father to a son that he gave life to?
    Why do you always have to be valued off of your success rather than your attempts to get there?

    The neglect, the isolation, abandonment
    Coupled with misfortune really test your will to live,
    Testing your will, for a reason not to take that final desicion.
    people often nearly end up deciding to tie a noose or to take a cold blade to their vein,
    Or an overdose of pills that doze you off to a never ending sleep,
    Or even wishing for a cardiac arrest on their deepest sleep for a painless death.
    All for proving a point,
    To make you people realise that the pain that they brag about everyday were true all along.
    Dont turn down a person even more if they are already feeling low, lonely or depressed.
    Sadly people end up feeling guilty only after the lose of a life.
    Technically this is not murder,
    but from the perspective of the people who end up committing suicide,
    Their experience of last days could never end up being more sorrowful than those lives inside Nazi concentration camps.
    So people should be held accountable for pushing them to that extreme.

    And from a person who suffers from the pain of uncontrollable racing thoughts,
    Who is struggling to even focus on the littlest things,
    who you blame their head is not at all there,

    Of the many things he suffer each day
    The best was always the ones about her.

    ©rahoof

  • loftydreams101 90w

    Surgery

    Put under,
    Breathing sweet dreams through a mask
    A life is in serrated hands

    Through his noxious dive,
    They carve a red path
    To the glutenous growth
    The malignant villain
    Who savors each kill

    Kindred prayers are spent
    Before the night falls swift
    Before the plunge of the scalpel
    Before the monitor’s scream

    ©2020 William Wright, Jr.

  • timyybabs 107w

    Beginning Of The End

    The world is at rest like a peaceful volcano.

    Nature movin' it's waist to the beats of a cyclone.

    Earth opening up for food like a Snapdragon.

    Wonders of the world dressed in a cloth of forlorn.

    This is me listenin' to the silence of the graveyards
    .
    Bodies gettin' stacked like a pack of cards.

    Flesh turnin' cold and pale; sand used as quilt.

    This very planet is gradually turnin' to a filth.

    Our silence speaks volume than our action.

    Lights, camera, gun and the voice of ransom.

    How do I stop writin' if this is the beginning?

    Men too busy trying to make the end worth livin'.

    ©timibabs

  • _ilioloustos_ 123w

    Racing Minds

    A racing mind is not what I need as I struggle to find my sleep. A flurry of thoughts always love to race and race and race. But none of them finish first place. Come to think of it...none of them even reach the finish line. Oh how it sucks to suffer with a racing mind.

    ©_ilioloustos_

  • jess5520 140w

    Thoughts

    My mind needs an off switch,
    These racing thoughts are a real b*tch.
    ©jess5520

  • brazenwings 142w

    Her doubts only last a minute..
    Then she liberates herself from her mind's clutches.
    A spirit unstoppable, never to be tamed..
    She sprints forward, for her life does not have to wait.!



    #writersnetwork #brazenwings #youngatheart #racingthoughts #emptymusings #she #aspirittoreckon #young #magical #moments #life #happening #Selfdoubt #behonest

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    Young heart

    Her doubts, only last a minute
    Then she frees herself from her mind's clutches
    A spirit unstoppable, never to be tamed
    She sprints forward, for her life does not have to wait.!
    ©brazenwings

  • rencemal 145w

    Speeding

    You said you knew I was going to drive myself into insanity
    And you wouldn't watch as I got high and made myself worse
    You said you were focused on the what next and I was stuck on the what now
    And you wouldn't watch as my thoughts ate away at me
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This will be the next reason we ask what now
    What are racing thoughts without a track
    No finish line
    No caution flag when we are spun out of control
    Still we want to be faster
    The need for speed drive us
    Moving places
    What place will we finish
    We don't even know where we are to tally, lost
    Yet we continue to speed on towards what is next
    Don't know where that is but we're going awful fast
    Will we stop or keep driving past
    Though my hands are gripping the wheel
    Your hand could grip mine
    If I could I would I guess I'd slow down
    I'm growing tired but I want the crown
    Eyes on the road so busy me a line
    Then both of us will reach the finish just fine



    Speeding
    ©rencemal

  • loftydreams101 153w

    A Strange and Beautiful Affliction

    There’s a melody 
    I can’t shake loose 
    From the branches,
    Sprouting in the dark of my mind 

    A full drawer of sonnets 
    Folded and frayed 
    After many nights lost, 
    Retracing my steps 

    A sprawling universe 
    Of twisted roads, 
    Weaving over and under 
    For a star-crossed dream

    © William Wright, Jr. 2018

  • mmbftd 148w

    The switch

    My mind is broken
    Like a switch
    It flipped
    The dark of night
    Brings fear so deep
    My bones are thick with the grip of it
    And no one else hears
    These thoughts
    The echoing versions
    Of doom and gloom
    Look up
    Look out
    Find a place to hunker down
    I'm not alone
    Lots are talking
    You just have to listen
    And since my switch flipped
    I hear it all
    Like raw nerves
    Picking up signals
    Neurons firing
    Till the flames are bright blue
    With the knowing
    And no one understands
    I don't want to live through what is coming to us all
    Hunkered down
    Squatting in shelter
    Crying
    Lonely
    Devastated by the air
    Saturated with vaporized
    Humans
    And the rat race has desensitized all the rats
    In mazes
    Following that cheddar
    It is flammable and meaningless
    No value
    I feel the value lies inside
    With the love we share
    With each other.
    And I'm here in my own box
    Listening
    To the fear
    Ingesting this
    Day in and day out
    Daylight savings time
    Mandela-ed
    And empathed
    And intellectualized
    And inhaling
    Nano particulates
    The air is toxic but it's saving me from that burning fake sun
    White hot scalder of flesh
    My switch has been flipped
    And my childhood memories are flooding back in
    Places I almost feel again
    Memories like pieces of puzzles
    Trying to align
    It means something
    It leads me somewhere
    I used to dream of seeing my town from above
    I saw things that I could not have known
    Those dreams linked up
    And repeated
    Those tunnels all lead somewhere
    I'm gonna find it
    But I won't go
    I don't want to survive what is coming
    The horror is too much to witness.
    And I'm a switch
    That's been flipped.
    ©mmbftd

  • lauramaria 165w

    Anxiety

    My heart is going to stop or about to explode, my thoughts are racing. I am fidgeting and thinking of all the things I need to do.

    I try to be present but can't focus on anything but how nervous I feel, my stomach is doing flips, hands shaking, just sitting there feeling paralyzed and not real.

    I look around me everyone seems comfortable and chill. I can feel my heart racing, palms sweating and am scared of how I feel.

    I start to talk to the person beside me hoping that will help it stop, only to find out I'm trapped in my body and feel like throwing up.

    I know the only way to stop it is to go and be alone, but that would be giving into something I can't control.

    So I stay there uncomfortably, waiting for it to pass, hoping for the moment when I can feel like myself at last.

    ©lauramaria

  • venomousrose 170w

    Racing Thoughts

    I feel better, now I'll sleep,
    Slight reprieve in vivid dreams,
    Safe from hell while sister screams.
    The key to happiness was suppression
    Til the anger and the vessel
    Exploded with the same momentum,
    A scarring effect upon the victim.
    But hidden stories filled the walls
    And silent voices yelled down the halls
    Demanding strength of others, so naive
    And just when it was time to grieve
    Everyone decides to leave.
    I need to let go of this painful doubt
    That tells me things still matter now.
    ©venomousrose

  • _sabrina_da_spoonie 171w

    ©_riggy_