39 posts
  • maxedson83akalyricalslouch 54w

    Lost Again:

    I suffered severe illness both mentally and physically so i had to lay down the pen. I went quite some time without writing and as i now try to i feel like i lost my "knack" for writing. As if i have lost the ability to compuse heart thumping emotion and display what really was my only talent. I feel seperated like a part of me has been lost and i can no longer connect fluently with passion and power. Each time i suffer an illness or life altering situation i seem to lose a bit of myself. Im scared to feel but i feel too much. Anxiety flows through me, depression drowns me, and i feel so terrified that i I can't even sleep, even with the strongest of sleep medication my brain just wont tune off and allow a moment of peace. I dont know but theres one moment in my life i can compare to all this mental disarray. When i was a child, very young probably 5yrs old at the most and i was in a shopping mall and somehow i got seperated from my mother and i was lost and terrified not even knowing what emotion meant at the time but i was completely scared and terrified i would never find her. I wondered about crying and looking and eventually my mother found me. But thats how i feel now and it makes sense my mom passed 6yrs ago and i have been lost ever since, but this time there is no finding her and without her i wasn't ME.

  • maxedson83akalyricalslouch 54w


    I find myself dealing with a return of my insomnia. At one time it crippled me driving me to have hallucinations and turning delusional . My actions while in that state of psychosis acting out in inappropriate manners where i turned to the hospital because, "where else was i I supposed to go" so i was admited as psychotic and then when i then acted psychotic. I was arrested for a crime i did while dealing with hallucinations and i acted out in an extremely out of bounds behavior but went to the hospital because i know i was irrational. Now i have had to been rated on a tool that categorizes a person in certain categorizes. So im being rated as to whom i am due to an action in psychosis. Even the jail said i was psychotic. So im being based as a person on a Action i did while pschotic. Is that an accurate interpretation of whom i am. Ive tried to get into psych wards 6 times in various towns and no psych ward will take me due to past problematic issues after an intake in their psych ward.
    So i end up sitting in the e.r. for 10days till they get sick of me and basically have me leave. Then i hear repeatedly on t.v. and in the news how the government has funded units to be accessible for people, psych patients of my type whom are difficult to deal with
    i still cant get in one when i need it. Where are these psych units designed specifically for people with of my cases and how do i get in if the "Damn hospital" can't get me in. And i am admitting what i did was wrong. but it is also a fact that i was in a state of psychosis. But i own up to my part and am paying my price and i will continue to do so as the person i really am not the psychotic patient i was. I WISH I NEVER WENT TO A HOSPITAL FOR HELP!

  • benny_lambchop 58w

    I am a rock on a cliff
    Waiting for a wind to blow
    Drowning in the water
    Dissolving into sand
    Reconstructed into microbes
    Life is ever changing
    Death is just a step
    Rebirth to start again
    The universe is inside my mind
    Perception ultimately makes me blind
    I am just a conscious in my brain
    Trapped in the mortal plane
    This is where I chose my cell
    A representation of my own hell
    In which I am left alone
    To learn that all is one
    And that one is all
    To accept it as the ultimate truth
    Would be Freeing
    #shrooms #freedom #psych #death #rebirth #life #trippy

    Read More


    I am a rock on a cliff
    Waiting for a wind to blow
    Drowning in the water
    Dissolving into sand
    Reconstructed into microbes
    Life is ever changing
    Death is just a step
    Rebirth to start again

  • hmbteas 74w

    You don't
    get to hurt us
    and demand forgiveness
    from us.


  • hmbteas 74w


    Don't believe in society's lies.
    And their judgmental eyes.
    You're an amazing creature.
    With a remarkable feature.
    Don't let them take your truth away.
    You don't really have to always say you're okay.

  • thewonderpoets 80w

    #Twenty one pilots
    # Grey's Anatomy
    # Firefly Lane
    # Billie eilish
    #doctor who
    #Donna Nobel
    # Amelia Pond

    Read More

    Me was supposed to be We

    We were supposed to be Tyler Joseph and Josh dun
    She was my Shawn and I was her Gus
    We were Meredith and Cristina
    she was "my" person
    We were Nellie and Pam from The Office
    she was tully and i was Kate
    I was Donna Nobel and you where the 10th doctor
    You where Amy Pond and i was the 11th doctor
    You where Billy I was Phineas
    We we're supposed to be in each other's lives forever
    not just being in each other's lives but be sisters forever
    We were supposed to
    Backpack  across Europe together
    when each of us got married we would live by each other
    my children would call her aunt and her children would call me Aunt
    we were supposed to be closer than sisters and not only did we view each other as sisters
    But we had an irreplaceable bond that no one could break apart
    At least that's what we thought
    I think that's the problem with life you always make these plans
    and they never seem to go the way you want them to
    No matter how hard you try
    That's what's sad about life
      you want so badly for those plans to turn out
    The way you dreamt them to be
    But  they don't  quite make it there
    Right when you think you're going to make it
    something always seems to happen to destroy that fairy tale you want your life to be
    Since we were little we always  made plans of living in a tiny house together
    somewhere in Norway
    we would plan
    we made real shopping lists of things that we needed to buy when we got old enough to build this life we wanted
    And now we can barely talk to one another
    without feeling awkward
    I think for me friendship
    true close friendship is painful to come across
    Any normal breakup between a couple
    You of course are hurt for a while but you do get back on your feet and you find someone else who cares and loves you like that others person didn't
    With friendship it's not that easy to just replace someone
    who has been in your  life for most of you life
    who is everything to you
    who has made you feel loved and cared for who made you feel needed and wanted in the world
    Sometimes I wish we weren't that close because then it would be easier to let go
    And start fresh 
                    - Me was supposed to be We

  • abhii_mac 119w

    Life was quick
    Time was thick
    Faith was flick
    People are psych
    Running through them was sick
    Surviving under all them was a spark!


  • writtendeliraments 124w

    A brewed hatred, laced with obscenity
    Prostrated, consumed by depravity
    Shadowless, in a world sunk in obscurity

    I'm bewitched here, made prey of my own misery

    Rattling the cages, in this rebellious silence, my agonizing screams rendered powerless
    Biting through the shackles, my naked mind cornered into madness

    Yet, swallowing my words like stones, I howl your name through each and every stage of darkness...


  • cute_vampire 131w

    Water scarcity !

    Take my tears it can fill the ocean

  • ambe_rhead 138w

    And why do my soles itch??
    Did it warn me to walk further?

    Oh, my little 'SOLE'!

  • phanique___snr 145w


    Yew promised to cry along else yew wud be the handkerchief while I shed, now yew are so long gone can't even make a shade.

  • jupitersmoon13 149w

    About Me

    Two of my biggest interests are psychology and writing. Psych is the study of why and writing gives us the answers. Anyone else into psychology also? In my writing i want to touch base on things many us feel that we don't realized we're not alone in feeling. I wanna hear your thoughts. Is writing not our way of crying out for help when our feelings have no where else to go?
    It's my way of dealing with things i can and can't ever change.

  • katemckinley 151w

    You are a fickle friend
    Or foe

    You coax me to binge
    Or starve

    You keep me long awake
    And tired

    You space me into emptiness
    So I can’t make decisions
    On anything
    Even sleep

    You steal time
    Like it’s a luxury I had forgotten
    In my usual contentment
    And I know

    Boy do I really know
    Way better than to trust you.


  • katemckinley 151w

    You’re in my head.
    Prowling the shadows
    Ghosting my night space
    But your heart beats in mine
    As Fingers caress thighs
    With lips kissing lies
    We’re lovers entwined
    Until our hearts beat in time
    As you wrap around my psych
    And pull me under.


  • vandhu 153w


    Its easy to read someone but the most difficult task is to understand

  • cercandolaverita 164w

    but broken minds,
    cautiously did unwind.
    Like fractured notes of your guitar,
    they did run wild, wondering where you are.
    But mystery did hide your soul
    in a place too secret
    for those demons
    to go.


  • aquaria 173w

    I waited, you lied
    Which simply made me cry.
    Leaving me wasn't your toughest thing
    But least you could've whispered me
    those last good byes, hugs and kiss

  • swethaphoenix 176w


    Its complicated when you decide to face the next moment of your life by getting over the psych feel at times of distinct emotions collide on those unreasonable days!

  • nejiya_fahtim 185w

    Way ahead

    Am not living
    more like surviving
    hoping to see the horizon beyond
    If it turns to be a myth one day,
    I would know
    the bad omens with which i woke up
    had meanings..


  • humanityraiseup 98w

    Psychopath - 1

    There are many type,
    But I know one type,
    First they want to be so close to you,
    They make you believe for whatever they say to you,
    Hidden psychopath wants more joynes,
    And they want to see you suffering and that receives them even more joynes.