If I could only stick the broken stems together that once supported the foundation of my life and obstruct a tedious process of the dying of summer and letting the cold and dark winter take away my sanity through its creepy grasp.
To face the fatalities, I cut down all the thorns. As they often hurt the ones who wanted to bloom by my side. Thus, I was left vulnerable, without my armour.
How foolish of me to think that detachment could help me cope up with the nosedive I was experiencing. When a flower is left forlorn, segregated from the fragrance of fellow buds, it is an arduous task to survive. To be away from the pack, all alone.
To stride into the cerulean caelum being inebriated by the azure, one feels blessed. Watching the silhouettes of orphic hues. The journey comes to a halt when the melancholic grey encompasses the sky. One suffers a nosedive. And it hits hard.
There aren't any dew drops that kiss you every morning, a zephyr that helps you relinquish the pain, and the dear petrichor that brings peace and serenity. All one has are the scissors of vanquish. Cutting every pulchritudinous memory that once made you feel valiant.
The beginning and the end of a nosedive is in our hands. The power to manipulate it rests with none, but us. To give it a proper ending, or to not give it an ending. Leaving various blanks to fill, according to one's desires. Or to forget that there ever was a nosedive.
//I regarded it as if it had happened years before, or as if it had happened to someone else, or as if I had only heard of it, or as if I had only forgotten about it// The Castle (Franz Kafka).
Bestowing one the power to change everything. And to look beyond the horizons of self-doubt and the cimmerian sky. Towards a yonder land where one is about to bloom, among fellow buds. With just the apt avidity.
eireneThis post has my heart! You know the whole 26 years of my life got reflected in this single post. I agree to each and every line that you have written. It felt as if you spoke my heart out. So much overwhelmed that I am, i wish I could save this post. I read it thrice and propose to read it everyday. ❤️
the_speccy_outsider@eirene Happy to know that you resonated with it. I guess it is the story of most of us. Falling down and then standing up again to face the hurdles. Thanks a lot for the read and words!
Time was running out and so was my "love" for you. You made me believe that you belonged to me and deceived me into the labyrinth of unanswered questions. I started loosing my peace of mind, as you lead me astray. Alas, I couldn't see through your lies and all my dreams came crumbling down like a house of cards. Loneliness eating into my mind as the fear of time started giving me nightmares. Being in love doesn't give you a licence to exploit me. But that is what you had planned since the very beginning. From being friends to getting into a relationship, you rushed it all. Starting things with playful flirts to leaving me with scars for life, you did everything to destroy me. A teetotaler having smoked cigarettes, puffed hookah and even having drunk for your pleasure and at your convenience. Oh.! How I miss my old innocent little self.!
Why do you "act" like being in love when you can't marry a girl or for that matter acknowledge your relationship.!? Why can't you just leave a girl alone and let her be "her" own awesome self. . .
you can't buy a victory in any fight , for that you need patience and force ,
you can't on your own just recreate light , for that you need science and source
pain and grief , they aren't medallions , to flaunt , joyance and delight , they aren't trophies , to vaunt
for , whatever you get , do you think , destiny , it's the only source whatever you achieve , it's when you use your determination , as a solid force
when the counting , of achievers , begins , book your slot , so that the list does not miss you , or otherwise , you are free to indulge yourselves , in all those love poems , in the rants of , miss you
being illusionist with words , at ease or migrating with emotional thoughts , swans and geese , it's up to you , to decide , how to command inner peace
The constant tussle of the demons In my head rarely ever ends Through all the voices in there My thoughts often bend Towards the way they desire While building up feelings inside That makes me want to run away Or get scared and hide. As though I am a bird chained Being forced to stay forever caged What is mine, what is theirs after a while I find very difficult to gauge The troubled times never cease Forever there is strife , a war The tranquility of silence is a rarity Because every whisper is turned into a roar The discord and agitation slowly Turns into disagreements in my head Leaving no stone unturned Or anything ugly unsaid. Instead of the soothing arms of Repose, quiet and placidity I’m transported to a place of Disturbance, unrest and anxiety. I wonder if there will ever come A day when I will be spared From the constant discourse and conversation That leaves me scared . I await a calm day of stillness, Steady serenity and peace When all the chatter in my head comes to an end And all the ugliness shall cease.