#ocd

157 posts
  • gli_tch111 32w

    OCD

    Walking 

    I take a step 

    Crunch 

    I stop 

    A leaf 

    “Do it again” it whispers 

    “Do it again, or else” 

    I lift my foot 

    Crunch 

    I continue walking 

     

    I take a sip from my straw 

    And 

    I feel it 

    “Do it again” 

    I don’t feel like it 

    “Do it” 

    I take another sip 

     

    It’s time for bed 

    I close my door 

    But 

    “Tap the knob” 

    Why 

    “Do it” 

    . . . 

    “Now” 

    I tap it. 

    ©gli_tch111

  • complicated_prsn 33w

    Personal life is usually destroyed when you are not sure of what professionalism takes from you..

    #bipolar #ptsd #trauma #lonely #weird #sad #angry #ocd

    Read More

    I am afraid of me..

    I am not really sure what all personalities I have within and what all dramas I am capable of..
    HJ©complicated_prsn

  • ananya_writes_ 38w

    Game

    Ah another new song
    To write to once more;
    Ah another broken heart,
    I’m upset again, something you adore

    Here’s to another risk,
    I take in name of our story;
    To forget how you hide,
    Crawling out when you like; it's that easy?

    Through those mixed signals,
    Are you trying to lose me too?
    Promising me again and again,
    Are you trying to love me? Be true

    Had held onto your hand,
    To smile more, to craft few more dreams;
    But this game of hide and seek,
    I am so lost, where do you run to, whose realms?

    Shadows circling my sky
    New fears every day, ever again
    Are those echoes of my past?
    Or are they sirens of your game?

    Frozen at your indifference
    Melting with songs you sing;
    Where do I go now?
    How do I escape this boxing ring?

    I can see you honey,
    For a change, I’ll be your villain,
    I’m tired you see, waiting,
    So I’ll be playing with you, your own game..
    ©ananya_writes_

  • ananya_writes_ 39w

    Musings

    A new fear every other day,
    A new magic you show;
    A new dress I wore today
    Just another day I try to let you go

    Fears you face, I’m sorry,
    From someone who belongs to me;
    Within moments of smiles
    I lose you again, it’s not easy

    I’ll be there even if you’ll leave
    Even if I’ll be fighting my nightmares;
    I’ll chose you over my fears yet,
    But I’m worn out, I too need some care

    Another poem I wrote today,
    Another song I found last night,
    Another dream I crafted for us,
    Who do I tell now, against my mind, how I fight?

    I’m sorry I’ll give in to
    My fears now, I’m tired;
    Call my name, when you’d want,
    I can’t see right now, everything's blurred

    If you could see me
    If you'd known I'm hurt again;
    Waiting for you to smile once more
    I'm losing mine away, with the pain

    Even if you’ll forget me one day
    I’ll keep you alive in my musings;
    Even if I’ll not exist to you one day
    You can be sure you’ll be in someone’s writings
    ©ananya_writes_

  • devilgodwin 47w

    Now

    What will be,
    Holds my now
    What was, killing it again and again
    The never ending pain of thoughts,
    sucking the life out of me and is making me insane.
    Now, is lost for now,
    Hope I can find it again

  • anushhkaaa 49w

    Her mind is a spider's web,
    It is all tangled and even horrific,
    It made the real unreal, and unreal real
    Her false memories and fear of something bad, holds herself into the loop of compulsions,
    She might look crazy to others, but she isn't crazy,
    It's her disorder!

    She opened the box of vulnerability to her friends,
    But she smelled the stink of absurdity,
    She decided to be the warrior alone,
    She already knew somewhere no one could understand her,
    But, she isn't a victim,
    She is a warrior,
    She believe she could overcome those monsters someday, and she will.
    ©anushk_a
    #ocd #farcry #wod @mirakee

    Read More

    .

  • rachanarithu 52w

    Demons of Pandemic and beyond.

    Will I ever get to see the people I love, one more time ?


    TW: Sexual Abuse, Covid, Mental Health Conditions, Death


    I remember the last time I asked this question to myself.  It was 4 years ago in a far away land where I was forcefully confined to a house during an abusive relationship. Getting physically and mentally abused by someone you trusted is an excruciating pain and to wake up the next day, to prepare food for the same person and pretend like nothing happened until it happens all over again the same evening, is just every description of hell in reality.

    Every single day the torture only increased and over the days, the question turned to a belief that, "I will not get to see anyone else, ever again". Infact if not for a universal intervention and my sister, I wouldn't have been alive to tell the tale.

    I got a second chance at life then in the form of my sister who helped me escape, get help and restart from scratch.  Yet, that incident left  long lasting impact in the form of multiple severe mental health conditions, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Anxiety and mild OCD.

    After changing multiple jobs, places and medications, things were finally  taking a positive turn when I landed a job that I really liked, a super supportive team, psychotherapy and also found alternate effective cure for my condition in Ayurveda. I tried to convince myself that may be just maybe, things might change. While medications and psychotherapy helped, I was supposed to stay away from triggers that would set off panic / anxiety attacks, which if gets worse could end up in me collapsing completely.  While there were many minor triggers, few major ones were good enough to start off major panic attacks, like being  in confined spaces, bound to home for prolonged periods without physically interacting with others, sounds of nadaswaram (musical instruments used in the south Indian weddings), sudden power cuts in the night and so on. I tried my best to stay away from triggers and things were actually getting better.


    Then Covid happened, I was confined to my home in the city, isolated into one of my worst triggers.  With the help of some  very  generous friends, I survived last lockdown, where I had multiple panic attacks and hospitalizations since I lost consciousness as a consequence. 

    This year lockdown is even worse, cases are rising like hell and people  I know or people in general are dying on a daily basis.  Amidst all this asking friends to come over for even emergency makes me feel guilty, can't visit hospitals as they are over occupied already with Covid cases and so on.


    Nights and darkness come along with horrible memories of the past, nightmares brings back vivid details of the trauma that happened, time crawls by in the night, where I stay awake counting seconds till the morning rays strike through my window, assuring some level of safety and may be just may be few minutes of uninterrupted sleep.


    Along with all that,  I haven't seen my mother or grandparents since February 2020, my sister or my brother since before that and by the way things are going on, I don't know if we will ever get to see each other in person anymore. I live in constant anxiety of something happening to my mother who is yet waiting to getting to get her slot for vaccination, my grandparents who can't be vaccinated due to co-morbidities,  because of which, me travelling all the way to them without getting vaccinated can be risky too. I have no freaking clue what will happen if I go down with Covid despite every possible precautions taken.


    The anxiety of all these uncertainties and constant triggers are literally disabling, physically and mentally.

    Everyday I hope that all of us sail through this and live to tell the tale but as the days pass by, the hopes are hammered and lights at the end of the tunnel seems like a mirage. Each day getting out of bed, doing things that a normal person could do without actually even thinking is a battle for me within myself.


    Yet I try my best to breathe through, one second to another, determined to fight back as far as I can. 


    I acknowledge the privilege I have of having a home to sleep, or not being currently in an abusive household,  and am grateful for all that. I am writing this to just let out that despite the privileges, the outward appearances, the shield of projections, many people hold onto, they might be fighting unimaginably deadly demons.

    If you are one who is fighting these battles for whatsoever reasons, your pain is valid as much as all the  collective grief around. Do not feel guilty for feeling pain.


    Breathe. Hold On. One second to another.


    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about"

    ©rachanarithu

  • outta_the_blue 54w

    OCD

    Falling in love and falling in pit
    Both required each other trust

    ©outta_the_blue

  • yours_fortune 57w

    I seriously hate that anyone around me and my family can make me cry, feel bad. But if I say one harmful thing, they make me feel like a monster.

    @the.black_quote

  • shivam_rs_tyagi 60w

    Beauty in Asymmetry

    The liberating effect of embracing asymmetry,
    Clutches no more to this compulsive bigotry.

    An organised orgasm, which can only be chased.
    Confining, refining.... Whining...till the end of days.

    Haven't this structured life made you enough secure?
    Files, cabinets, post-notes with neverending hilighters to lure.

    Has the "Monica" in you...taken the charge over?
    My advise to you, Opposite direction & Barge this river over.

    For me... "Regina Phalange" is a better path to be,
    What has been persistently present... Beauty in asymmetry.

    P.S.- People who doesn't know who Ms. Phalange is, you're more oblivious than people with O.C.D.
    ©shivam_rs_tyagi

  • outta_the_blue 60w

    Check out Aifer-OCD on YouTube

    #Aifer #OCD #thoughts

    Read More

    OCD

    You have a thoughts,
    it's fine,
    You have a silly thoughts,
    still fine,
    If it's a thoughts it will be fine,
    But what would you do if thoughts persuade you in action?

    ©outta_the_blue

  • psychologygirl 60w

    OCD

    Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions).

    Its not only related to washing hands, rechecking etc.

    It was 7 years back...
    A girl who was in high school, was not happy with her skin colour.
    Better to say she feel little when watching other with fair skin tone.

    Her brothers used to make fun of her.
    How "KAALI" she's and how different she is.


    Hence these "so called opinions" make her feel "OBESSIVE" about her colour.
    These unwanted, continous and unavoidable thoughts make her feeling worst about herself.

    To overcome these obessions, she find a way.
    She started using a "STEROID CREAM"
    (These types of cream are used for lightening skin colour)

    Within just few days of usage her skin colour changed exceptionally.

    Getting compliments was a like Goal Achievement. No more heartbreaking comments.

    This become a "COMPULSION" for her.
    She couldnt stop herself using that cream, as when she stop using it small acne bumped in her face.

    This continous for around 5-6 years...

    Now she's in category of fair coloured people.
    Hurray...

    It was in 2021 she realized her skin was getting thin each day.

    Now it's so sensitive that even lotion reacts on her skin making her face red entirely. There were rashes, uneven skintone , dryness , hyperpgimentation and what's not.

    Her face was more dull than earlier in her teenage.

    She went to the " dermatologist ".

    You wont believe what doctor said :

    "USING SUCH CREAMS JUST FOR 10 DAYS IS EXTREMELY HARMFUL, and you're using it from such a long time. You can understand how much you need to pay for it now. Your skin will take alot of time to get back to normal. As these creams break the barricades of skin and allowing all skin problems comming altogether "

    *These creams also causes Cancer*


    This girl was me.
    And sharing this experience was for only one reason.

    BODY SHAMING can be of any type


    As teens we are filled with n no of harmonal changes which resulted in different bodily problems.

    For this the takeaway is :

    ♒ Stop using these creams as early as possible.
    ♒ Consult the doctor at the earliest.
    ♒Make sure not to reuse these creams again no matter what.
    ♒ Love yourself as you are.
    ♒ As a parent and as a society make sure you don't comment on children's colour or body changes.
    ♒ As an adult you first need to accept harmonal changes is not a taboo.
    ♒ Please, dont make fun of your children.


    ©psychologygirl

  • anushhkaaa 61w

    .

  • tarang_garlapally 63w

    DELUSIONAL

    Never out of order, but just right and in time,
    Too diligent and keen to even lose a dime,
    Striving hard to be true, straight, and precise,
    But losing all the time, thinking things over thrice,
    Checking up on the switch, throwing over a thousand looks,
    I've been losing all my liberty, caught up by these hooks.

    "Turn off the stove and check it if you did!",
    Shouts my mind out on a loop, and I do it even if I did.
    "Walk in the right pattern, or lose the ones you love",
    Says the devil in my mind, on repeat, as he loves,
    Not being able to stop him, I play his prey,
    Asking myself if I'm fine, or delusional all the way.

    Horrified by the upshots, and afraid of getting lost,
    Frightened of the devil, who might make me bear the cost,
    I do whatever he says, being the demon's little dove,
    Acting just as he instructs, staving off every shove,
    Being his mere puppet, controlled by his strings from above,
    As I have to save myself, along with the ones I love.

    - The Conscience
    ©tarang_garlapally

  • truman 69w

    When in stress how people feel ... Help them , speak to them


    Correction invited in poem
    #mirakee #meraki #mirakeeworld #writersnetwork #truman #depression #ocd #mentalhealth

    Read More

    Tired of this loneliness
    With growing stress
    Of this and that
    Feel like life is mess

    Nothing comes out of me
    That support what is me
    It's all empty within
    Deep there nothing to see

    Thoughts are running
    What will happen thinking
    What i did wrong and why
    All i lost in the eyes blinking

    People who do all wrong deed
    They are on higher summit
    Why good people always meet
    With all suffers and pain indeed

    Nothing make sense of it
    Making me mad bit by bit
    Feel like life is not worth for me
    Suicide is option sometime i see

    In this emptiness ,in this devoid
    Need someone who can fill void
    Friends , family or counsellor
    Who sense problem n can't avoid

    Mental illness is not a excuse
    In this lonely and nucleus world
    Add by expectation and abuse
    It's like someone caged a free bird

    So identify it,Accept it
    Standby someone
    Help who come
    Saying he feel like numb
    May he have OCD or stress
    depression or duress
    Need his own people around
    Helping him start a new life afresh
    ©truman

  • anetita 77w

    Obsessive Compulsive

    It's the way I'm wired,
    Since I was a child.

    My synapses fire,
    Convincing my mind,
    To touch the knob six times,
    Not five,
    Because four is too few,
    And never an odd number—no seven, no nine.

    Should I fail to abide,
    My brain, on red alert, says:

    "Someone will die."

    If I don't complete the ritual, satisfy the vice,
    It cries, repeating:

    "SOMEONE. WILL. DIE!"


    ©anetita

  • yours_fortune 82w

    Any situation or an incident in life is just not so easy to forget and move on with...there is constant fight between mind and heart. And somewhere, someday we are just clueless.
    .
    .
    #life #lifehacks #sorrow #mindthought #mindtalks #mindfight #hearttalk #heartandmind #giveup #moveon #life #happiness #teara #suicidal #ocd #pschyology

    Read More

    Hey life, why you get me into such a mess!
    Where my mind wants me to stop everything right now, but my heart keep saying me to go on.

    @the.black_quotes

  • thesadteen 86w

    �� " ���������� ���� ���� ���������� ���� ������������������ �������� ������������ ������ ������ ���������������� ���� �������� ��������. �������������� ����������������, �������� �������� ����, & �������� ������ ���� ���� " ��✌��

    #innerstrength #lovingyourself #selflovery #selflovewarrior #selfdiscovery #selfempowerment #youareenough #selflovejourney #loveyourselffirst #selflovequotes
    #mentalhealthblogger #selflovequotes #behappy #motivationalquotes #anxietyhelp #anxietysupport #ocd #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryquotes #mentalhealthmatters
     #loveyourself #motivation #happiness #positivevibes #life #inspiration #instagood #believe #quotes


    #TheUglyPoet#ThePoetOfStreets#DepressedDude

    Read More

    Hey You !
    Yeah You
    The One Who's Reading This
    I Pray That ;
    '' You Stop
    Overthinking
    &
    Hurting Your Soul '' ツ

    ©The Sad Teen

  • _rakhi 89w

    मेरा जीवन तो इतना खराब है कि ढंग के दो दोस्त भी नही मिले,
    जो दो मिले है,
    एक को OCD है
    दूसरा भोसड़ी है।
    ©_rakhi

  • theowryts 102w

    Her very own obsession and her thirst for compulsion.
    #mentalhealth
    #OCD

    Read More

    Obsession and Compulsion

    I act the need to fulfill what's beneath
    To calm the throbbing anxiety to reach it's peak

    I flick the lights on and off
    Counting the numbers 1..2..3..4

    Every step is all painstakingly
    I redo and repeat my movements all tediously

    I aim for things to be aligned
    My perception of neat and proper needs to be in line

    Locking the doors from every room
    Checking what's undone 1..2..3..4

    Reckoned strides is all but measured
    Every move tied to my angled perfection

    A strive for an obscure subsist
    Drowning in the furrowed sea of conquest

    With every wayward step forward
    I return and turn the numbers 1..2..3..4

    ©theowryts