#narcissist

282 posts
  • mmbftd 3d

    Daddy

    I understand now
    Your fear
    Your cowardice
    The way you violently
    Kept us in line
    To make yourself feel important.
    And I've been your sounding board, since I was four years old. I was a wise child even then, because I had to be, to survive your rule.
    Now, even after your coma and near death sequence miraculously gave you more chances to live again ...
    You change nothing
    You have always been a liar
    A manipulative man
    Seeking out sympathy from your daughter before she could even ride a bike.
    Your marital strife, was a saga you versed me in.
    Now, you are almost 90. Ancient. Their should be wisdom acquired by now, but there are only more lies, more boiling hatred for anyone around you who thinks for themselves. Because you are a follower, begrudgingly. You do it to be a martyr. For sympathy.
    But I've none for you old man. I'm to blame. I've coddled you my entire lifetime and I've suffered from it. You never stood up for me, never got to know me, never heard me or cared to question anything. Your weakness sickens me. Have you never been grateful for anything?
    You tell me how you and mom fantasize about how much better your lives could've been if you hadn't had us kids. With glee you told me this! Even if it's true...why speak it? You want me to know that you are sorry we exist?
    We never asked to be here, under your thumbs, manipulated and diminished by your violent outbursts of fists and screams.
    I used to watch you beat my dog through the window. Horrified and terrified and all at once grateful it was not me in that moment. But I loved my dog so much. He was my one spot of joy. You hurt him. You hurt me through him. You planted seeds of terror in my soul. Your eyes black like hollow holes of rage. I could not save my dog, nor myself. You were my father, the secret monster. Smiles and songs for strangers, jokes and laughter to draw them in.
    And then other times you made me sing. Trained me to be your partner in ways my mother could not. You wanted to be famous. You wanted adoration above all else. You still do. And when I was little I sang and thought we sang together for the joy of song. The purity of harmony filling the air around us. But I was your monkey. You fooled me. You pretended to know me. As I tried my best to communicate with you through song.
    I'm so angry all this time later. Mostly at myself. For not seeing through you sooner.
    You created a jester that only a child would accept.
    I kept your secrets because you told me your life depended on them. I grew up angry at a mother you made into my enemy, with your lies. Your groomed me to be your soldier, your mascot, your shield against her.
    And even now, with your second chance at a valuable life...you cannot step into a life lived with integrity.
    You can only brag, about yourself incessantly.
    Old man, I loved you so, idolized you, took punches for you, gave you so much of my time and protection. Above my own life, I cared for yours.
    You are a bad man.
    You are on your own now.
    I can't save anyone but myself now.
    And you'll not even notice me gone.
    ©mmbftd

  • ballu19 3w

    CATHARSIS

    Bright and bubbly, a smile spread all over your face,
    You looked like a sunflower when you first said 'Hi'
    Glowing like hope, you said to me 'I want to be a part of your journey',
    It was compelling enough to break down any man's defenses.


    We started our journey, on wheels of promises and destiny.
    The love, affection and attention- it was more than anybody could ask for,
    Certainly more than I had ever asked.
    'Were things a little too perfect? Too soon?' - simultaneously interrupted by another thought - 'Don't ruin a good thing by overthinking'.
    For that moment, I found completeness in my 'Twinflame' , as you had called me.


    A day as normal as any other, I came up to you with a sweet embrace.
    You lashed out to me with such contempt and rage I froze in disbelief,
    Before I could react, you started crying, like you were just at the recieving end of your own cruelty
    WIthout a second's hesitation, I rushed in to console you.
    'We promised it would be us against the problem, or did you forget?' , a thought passed by.


    A season passed,
    Arguments grew- your words sharper and I bled deeper
    A pattern forming - You pushing me away only to pull me back again as I near the edge.
    Seasons passed,
    I felt helpless, cold and alone than I have ever been
    I had lost track of myself.
    As I slowly regained my awareness, I saw it clearer and clearer-
    The webs spun all around me, a web of lies and deciet,
    The skeletal remains of those who came before me.

    At the centre of the nest, I met your stare,
    Sent shivers down my spine.
    You looked nothing alike-
    Horns protuded out of your head
    A forked tongue darted in and out, spitting 'promises' everywhere like it would never run out of it
    Your smile was still as wide, only this time it gave me an impending sense of doom.


    I gathered strength and hurriedly freed myself
    As I was going to make a leap, I felt a sense of homeliness in your webs,
    Like I had been hit by Stockholm syndrome.
    Reluctantly, with utmost effort, I took the leap.
    'Would you miss me?' I asked myself pitifully, as I crash down.


    It was then, another butterfly flashed before my eyes,
    It sat right on one of your thousand promises, like I did.
    I closed my eyes, a weak smile forming on my face
    For the first time in a while, I sighed with relief
    Instantaneously, my wings of freedom spread out ;
    A moment of catharsis.


    ©ballu19

  • feflourflowers 3w

    I never trust a narcissist but the love me !
    But sorry ill pass


    #mirakee #narcissist #narcissistic # self obssessed ����

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    Narcissist

    Your so self obsessed and does it even bother u to think about the world come on the world doesnt revolves around u !
    ©feflourflowers

  • cicimoon 6w

    Reality

    I bet you wouldn't
    Believe that our realities
    Are so incomprehensibly different
    And, I couldn't begin
    To explain how grateful
    I am that my
    Reality is so much different
    Than yours
    ©cicimoon

  • writtersfeelingz 9w

    Instagram user....

    Nowadays it's the one
    I see everytime someone
    Leaves just because
    We loved them truly
    Lust won the aces
    Breaking my heart into pieces
    ©writtersfeelingz

  • zaesha 22w

    Narcissistic Abuse
    #abuse #narcissist

    So get away
    Your lifeline isn't your lifeline anymore.
    It never was.

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    When you know

    That you don't have to fall to their standards to realize about certain failures

  • asparrowsingspoetry 23w

    I’ve been smited before by a
    wizard of sorts
    he made me hide my shame
    under a cellular blanket
    crafted by fear and
    narcissistic castigation
    a mosaic of ugly stories
    and bruised hips
    I tucked it under my elbows tightly
    so the beast with his feral snout couldn’t find my rosebud, autumn ready and ripe squirted pleas in the game of plucking from the vine
    I once wore his ring which now causes me to sigh
    the whole mess a glitch in time
    a rabbit chased into a hole
    and there’s no air and no way out


    ©asparrowsingspoetry

  • jars_of_saturn 25w

    I want to die-

    Of all the places I can think about,
    Dying in your arms is my favourite
    To think about, obviously.
    This is not a cheesy cliche of some sorts.
    Maybe it is-
    I’d be at peace (finally)
    Losing my grip on life,
    Riding on your heart beat.
    The more I disconnect,
    The faster it gets.
    27 years flash before your eyes
    As I walk towards my paradise -
    The real one.

    I picture you beginning to shiver,
    And losing control
    And you wrap your arms around my neck
    and violently shake me up,
    Only this time, with love
    But you let me fall back down
    The memories of the other times you shook me
    Gush back into your veins
    Is that guilt?
    Probably not.

    Hugging your knees isn’t going to help
    How will you possibly explain
    The death of another mans wife?
    You’d have to talk now
    Can’t fool them anymore
    Sewn lips ripped-
    Tell them about the time
    I cried thinking I can’t listen
    To your heart pumping poison
    And fearing that I’d lose you.
    And about the time
    You put a ring on me
    Saying you’d put one later
    Or the time when I had
    An episode just thinking about not being one- your one.
    Or the promise of forever
    That I never could overcome.
    That I ran back to you
    No matter what they said
    What do they know anyway?
    You’re mine
    And I, yours
    Tell them and they’ll understand
    No one hates the dead
    I lost the ring to someone
    Can you find it?
    I want to be buried with it.
    Angels would cry
    Every author breathing will bow
    To the saddest story ever
    Right person, wrong time
    I like to think that you’d whisper
    Something that only we know
    And kiss my forehead
    Before I’m gone.

    ©jars_of_saturn








    @writersnetwork @mirakee @mirakeeworld
    #sad #life #music #lifestyle #inspiration #angel #quotes #bhfyp #quote #loveyourself #narcissist

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  • kemella 28w

    Clingy

    She was a part of me
    She never wanted to leave
    But I fought her
    Threw her in a damn cell
    With the doors locked
    And keys thrown away, never to be found
    She's never coming back
    Because I don't want to be that girl anymore
    I would not let that happen
    The locks are tight
    She's gone far away
    Incase your insensitive ass has forgotten what she used to be
    Well let me remind you
    She used to be emotional
    She wasn't so smart
    Your phone was usually buzzing with series of her texts
    And when ignored, she picks up the phone and call
    With unanswered texts and calls
    She lays on her bed to cry
    Her overthinking spirit rising up to her
    As she drowns in her sorrow
    Crying in her pillow
    Again, she always wanted to see you
    But all you gave were excuses
    You was a jerk
    Well, a jerk she loved
    She talked a lot just to keep conversations
    But you never really cared to listen
    Everything seemed forced
    She was no longer living
    She was a lot of things
    But you know what she wasn't..?
    Herself
    She had lost herself
    With a craving to please you
    She did everything you wanted
    You rarely paid attention to her emotions
    You were selfish and only cared for your raging hormones
    She was a clingy girl in search of love and care
    You were a monster everyone should fear.
    ©kemella

  • mighty_are_the_fallen 33w

    Mirrors

    Calling a broken heart a narcissist
    A tricky game

    I always wanted to die
    To blend in
    I hated the crowd
    But I wanted to heal
    So I forced myself out

    I hated myself
    It's what made me hate you
    Always parroting me
    My worst parts

    You've finally done it
    You switched places with me
    I truly believe
    In your head
    I'm you
    ©mighty_are_the_fallen

  • thepoet_j 33w

    here’s your love poem

    A master manipulator can lie to even themselves, damaging anybody in the process.

    damn
    didn’t I let you manipulate the dance
    pull the words from my mouth
    require me to bleed love poems from my heart
    knowing full well you were going to leave
    maybe I was the fool
    Falling for when you said
    “I wish you would write me a love poem”

    I should’ve heard
    “Please, can’t I win over your heart because I lost the last one”
    “Please can’t I shape you into the one that will help me move on”
    “Please, won’t you bleed for me”
    “Please, won’t you spill that blood out in music”
    “Please I want you to think about me in all the ways he never did”
    “Please, I don’t want my body to remember this pain anymore”
    “Please won’t you fall for my lethal baby blues”


    You were right about one thing, Maddie.
    They were lethal.








    ©thepoet_j

  • _shivoham_ 34w

    Incomplete knowledge is terrible.

    #mirakee
    just stay away from #narcissist

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    The worst feeling in this life is when you are a parrot and everyone is busy judging you by thinking you in a group of cuckoos.

    ©_shivoham_

  • hungryfoolish 39w

    I think being a Narcissist is the thing about me that I'm most proud of. It's a feat in its own way...
    ©hungryfoolish

  • unicornworld 54w

    Have u ever had the misfortune to come across a narcissistic, cheater of a lover ?
    They put up the greatest show of their love for you ,which is actually directed at themselves in a very convincing manner. You being naive and new to this species cannot tell the indirect manipulation at play. But somehow every fight ends up with you apologising for something you never did. Every wrong is somehow your fault. Every mistake is very conveniently made by you. You might catch him doing something shady but its so expertly turned back on you , you forget they were wrong to begin with. You find making amends all the time and eventually its exhausting to a point where you feel nothing you do is good enough to make them happy. They make you feel as though you are incapable for making anyone happy. They punish you and you feel you deserved it.
    And who feeds you this guilt??? 
    This is the worst kind of abuse one suffers from because the signs are not visible and its never a simple obvious red flag
    Please open your eye and re evaluate, you deserve better , you are enough, a thousand times enough !

    #pod #writersnetwork #mirakee #narcissist

    @writersnetwork @mirakee @readwriteunite

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    Narcissist

    Even if I made a mistake,
    Who are you to make me pay?

    ©xee

  • yayinology 60w

    A boy with sad eyes

    A boy with sad eyes.
    Staring at his ceiling all day long, just thinking about nothing.
    Obsess over everyone who comes along, just to abandon them at the ending.
    Too easy to speak and too kind to be real.
    A boy with sad eyes.
    His love burns as bright as his fears and hate.
    He cries himself to sleep every night blaming all on his fate.
    Too much to put up with and too intense to deal with.
    A boy with sad eyes.
    He's everything and nothing.
    A narcissist who hates himself.
    A combination of both extremes.
    Too weird to live and too rare to die.
    A boy with sad eyes.

    ©fuckeduppoetry_

  • healednarcissist 62w

    Good day! When things seem to be unfolding beyond our capacity, we all have our own ways to protect ourselves and others. This is what they called as the ego defense mechanism as introduced by the Austrian-psychologist Sigmund Freud. According to the Freudians, it is okay to use a defense mechanism when the conflict seems to be complicated to resolve at that moment; however, if it is habitually done it became unhealthy.

    If you are going through something hard right now like mental health condition etc., don't hesitate to seek help. We are not weak when we seek help, in fact that is a sign of bravery. To be able to admit your own flaws and weaknesses, is not easily done by everyone. Pretending to be strong when you're not is not always good (habitual usage of a defense mechanism is unhealthy), there is a tendency that you would be physically and emotionally burnt out. Don't do that, you're just exhausting yourself. Anyways, if you need someone to talk to please feel free to contact me. Or connect with Christ Jesus, the best listener ever. I've been through rough past too (narcissistic) and it was the Lord Christ Jesus who purely help me changed. This I am sharing because it's true. Without partiality nor hypocrisy. I want you to feel better too. ❇️

    Sharing this comforting verses in the Holy Bible:

    Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10). ✝️

    #advocate #positivelife #Christ #Jesus #mentalhealth #personalitydisorder #healed #narcissist #cactus #freud #defensemechanism #psychoanalysis #positive-humanistic #psychology #isaiah1:10

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    Love, Cactus

    Recently I've been a trend
    Bought and tended with care.
    I know I am quite prickly outside
    Makes me wonder
    why people still like me.
    I am everywhere
    Inside and outside your home
    Still I am alone.
    Without peers, I stand firm
    My thirst quenched
    Along with my hard thick skin.
    Inflict wounds in me,
    I'll shed my pure white tears to you.
    Truth, only few believe
    Everyday I am crying inside.
    Deep down I am weak,
    A tale never been exposed.
    My thorns are not made to hurt you
    They are to protect you away
    From my rotting self.
    ©healednarcissist

  • _s__c__a__r__s_ 65w

    Thankfulness

    You should be thankful because you have my company . You will rise ,learn and enjoy with me . If you try something against me, remember, it only takes me a millionth of a second to change from symbiote to a parasite .

    ©_s__c__a__r__s_

  • healednarcissist 66w

    A lovely day to you mates! I would like to know how lovely are you today regardless of those snippets of excruciation. Seriously, how are you?

    Okay! Let me tell that life is full of shits. Shit words, shit fate, shit names, shittiest events, shit fakes, shit SHITS. Shits are all around you big and small. They're present everywhere. To fuck your life.

    Congrats! 'Cause they smell worse than your mouth. Well, you're a lot better than those shits if, you have not become one of them. Read these tips, they're free:

    Tip 1: Don't act shitty, just because you've been shitted.
    Tip 2: Wear your protection, your mask- the Holy Bible, read them so you would know what are shits, who are the shits, and to know when you're being shitted.
    Tip 3: This is for those who do not understand the shit language. If you're down, feeling alienated, if you feel like there's no purpose in life, and there's no more reason to live, I exhort you my friend to get the Bible, seek the Lord, and the Lord will never leave and forsake you. Jesus is a merciful Lord.

    In this shit world, when we are becoming shit ourselves, there's still a way to be purified. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father before Him. (John14:6)

    The life outside Christ is full of confusions (read James 3:16-18 to know more), I've been there, it's full of shits. So, I am sharing this living WORDS so you may be saved. Don't follow me, don't follow your preachers, don't praise them. For praises is for God. Follow the good Shepherd Jesus. Honor and Glory be to God!

    #advocate #positivelife #Christ #Jesus #Holy #Bible study #depression #mentalhealth #incompetence #healed #narcissist #deep #shits

    Jesus is the Lord, and God raised Him from the dead.

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    Deep Shit

    When shall I start to speak?
    When my mouth has gone
    silently drained.
    When shall I start to listen
    in warnings?
    When my entire body
    utterly damaged.
    When shall I open my eyes?
    When everything
    has gone black.
    Now that I am ready to seek
    the Morning Star,
    I have become less.
    What can I do Morning Star?
    Now, that I have become
    INCAPABLE.

    ©healednarcissist

  • healednarcissist 66w

    Greetings mates! Did you know August is the month when bouquet of roses is less sold? Nevermind it was a joke. Anyways, I always find red roses universally unique. I think if I were to associate narcissists with flowers, roses suit them best. Attractive upfront, but deep down is a pointy personality. Toxic/prickly you may say.

    Despite the enchanting beauty, they do have thorns. I wonder if you know why? Welp, because its their way of protecting themselves. An unhealthy way of dealing with mental conflicts. They hurt others to protect themselves.

    Narcissists are weak, they can't handle reality. If you think narcissists love themselves so much, it's the exact opposite. They hate themselves so very much. They have very low self-esteem, escalating their addiction to be admired and appreciated.

    For narcissists are weak, sharing this Bible verse:
    We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. ||Romans 15:1||

    #mentalhealth #personality #narcissist #psychology #secret #roses #self-esteem #beauty #thorn #Christ #Jesus

    Jesus is the Lord, and God raised him from the dead.Honor and glory be to God!

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    Secret of Roses

    First glance you will see,
    Enticing color of passionate red.
    Deep downward hides its thorny side.
    ©healednarcissist

  • healednarcissist 66w

    Hi, mates! New to Mirakee... I used to be someone with a very toxic personality, NPD- Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If you are not familiar with NPD it is a mental personality disorder characterized by pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for an admiration, and lack of emphaty.

    Yes! I thought I was born super special that the world needs me. Unfortunately, this was just my distorted point of view. Saddest, it was so difficult for me to love others too, and that does not excludes my family from my case.

    I know some of you may find me ridiculous and disgusting, and I agree, I was! However, this was my past! Through the graciousness of God, I am a changed person now. I am human too! I've learned to love, to care, to emphatize. And, I want to share that there is hope for every narcissist, suicidal, socially anxious and depressive. I've been there so I know. I know you can overcome it too! Talk to me let's be friends! Welp, Jesus is the best listener so I highly advice.

    #mentalhealth #personality #advocate #positivelife #narcissist #closetnarcissism #suicidal #depression #socialanxiety #hope #Christ #Jesus

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    Narcissists Can Change Too

    I was a closet narcissist,
    I was suicidal.
    I was unexpectedly a pessimist,
    I was depressed.
    I used to have a distorted view of myself:
    That, I am unique, superior, and special.
    I used to think people should admire me for that.
    So, I hated them when my expectations were not met.
    I really thought the world hated me
    But, it is I, the first one who have hated the world.
    Now, through Christ here I am changed...
    And, I'll be here for you when you need a friend to listen 'cause that is what we are for.
    ©healednarcissist