2 posts
  • chaos2art_and_backagain 9w

    Growing Honesty

    I say that I'm an open book when I know anything I don't wish to share has been penned in invisible ink.
    I will give you enough suspense and drama to leave you feeling filled, but I still hide so much at my core.

    Feeling two faced when I claim to want true vulnerability but am scared to give it.
    Been too hurt to let down walls enough to let anyone see over, all while demanding to see their secret gardens with my own eyes. 

    My heart has debated the risk so many times but determined it too deadly, we just aren't who we used to be. 

    I still can't stand to cry while others are around, the only thought in my hanging head is to run. 
    I am enamored by the thought of being close to another, but I am fearful that the process to get there will only lead to heartbreak. 

    Oh lord, you know every tear I shed or smile I have given. 
    You know the constant tug of war in my heart, mind, and soul.

    I am growing tired of this loneliness, you created me to be with others. 
    So I give you my past, the hurts that others left when they did. 

    I will slowly give you each stone in my wall so that you are the only one standing between them and me.
    You are all the protection I have ever needed, let me give it all to you.
    Let me be honest in saying I just don't know what to do. 

    I am too much of a mess to function on my own, my garden has been overgrown for sometime now. 
    So you bend down and help me pull up the weeds, thorns poke my skin but it needs to be done. 
    It is then I realize we are not alone, others have come. 

    My neighbors have started to dismantle their walls and come to help me pull out what I thought was too unsightly to be seen. 
    I can see the same invasive species among the others’ flowers and my heart skips a beat. 

    I water the ground with my tears as I realize I was never alone, you have always provided me with others; I was just too terrified to simply look and see.    


  • chaos2art_and_backagain 10w

    My Everything

    I feel you in the breeze, a gentle reminder to calm my soul, breath you in and refocus.

    I see you in the rippling waters, showing me you are constantly moving even when I may not be paying attention.

    In the sun rays I feel your insurmountable love and the joy you hold for your creation.
    How I love your child-like creativity, believe the stars are proof that even God likes to play with glitter.

    Your musical talents are unmatched, only you could harmonize all of creatio to sing your praise.
    How generous you are in the giving of variety, from trees and flora to mentality and interests.

    How humbling is the power you display in storms, the bellows of thunder and blinding strikes of lightning bring me to my knees in awe.

    How overwhelmed am I by your mercy.
    To save those, who sit in constant rebellion, from such an awful yet fitting fate of everlasting death.

    Your awesomeness is beyond measure, you surpass time itself.
    You were before existence, so far beyond my mind's competition.

    You rain grace and blessings upon us all though we are so far from deserving.
    Out of all this it is still mind blowing that you came and sought out me.