death of a loved one
Your hands were cold
Your eyes had drifted close,
There were two of us,
But I knew I was alone.
I battled against numbness;
Our memories too valuable for me to lose.
I sent my happiness after you;
You were free of needles, of pills,
And stubbornly silent rooms.
You stood beside me as I said goodbye,
Lingering even as the saintly shroud signalled the end of the rites;
But your face was that of a stranger,
Hauntingly severe, and utterly indifferent to my cries.
Even my senses turned against me;
Testifying for wishes that never solidified.
And I disowned my faith,
Guilty of using it to feed on lies.
Regret proved loyal:
Fiercely guarding me from Sleep,
Time who raced to the finish line when you remained with me,
Slowed down, in an ironic show of pity.
I investigated into your case,
Desperate for inconsistencies in your love for me;
For reality came with an unbearable ache,
The reality that you could never be replaced.
Time picked up his pace once again,
I covered my ears and played blind,
When he pointed to the road ahead;
For I still clung to you,
However stranger to me you grew.
And although Time may continue on his course,
Grief had become a friend,
And Living had become a foe.