I am back after a long long time. Actually, I can say that it is my season 2 of the writting era. Season 1 was the time when my mom could recover from cancer. And now season 2 is when I am just lost in my past... Though things are quite straight now, there is stiffness everywhere. I have lost in that despair and that disgrace... I have lost myself in the process of medically healing myself.... I have lost the happiness, to listen to the sound of rain... I have lost the taste of my perfect coffee And infact the desire to make it as well. I have lost hope in all, And amongst all. I have been a machine, Operating on some logics that's all. A slumber deep sleep and a buffet full of food, Topped with cheese, I dont believe in fantasy, In anything above than these...
I have lost the faith, In the almighty, I have lost the cheerfulness, Which was in abundance with me always...
As some sequel have their own charm, From season 1 to season 2, These characters change a lot, A season 1 flashback, Holds in my life as well, I was that girl, happy go lucky, Waiting to flaunt my dreams, Always and forever. Dreaming of something bigger, Deeper and peaceful.
Season 2, this time, The characters and their backgrounds, Are locked same now, But the only thing changes, Is my view, I am that woman now, Who has become independent, To such a core, That now she dreams of nothing, No man can make her happy, Neither she is wanting to give away her happiness To any such stranger...
Seasons change, Leaves have their fall, Skies empty themselves by raining, And the sun rises above all...
Correlating then, I am at stage 1... There are 2 more phases of trauma, For that sun to heal For that sun to come.
Today, 24th may 2021, the most usual day as it would be. I woke up got fresh and started the daily music dose, to bear the regularity of life. Then, i opened my laptop and started to glance through the mails, that will eat up my head today. It was a very boring and a regular Monday morning, everyone was wishing good morning on our group chat, being a work from home culture !!
While my tasks for the day were being planned, I got a message from a colleague, Saying pls do this, She wasn't my boss, Neither any senior, Just as me, the same level junior, It hit me hard as her tone, Wasn't cool, Ordering me, was never her tool.
I was upset and moreover distressed, Monday morning, And such troubling, Was all i could anticipate.
Its with deep breaths, That i got somehow, Back to normal, Carrying out some tasks, Making myself little stronger.
To all the rescue then comes, My best friend, My office survival kit, Is his name, As the name, So is the fame, Work, help and what not to say.
I ranted and ranted, About all the politics, I knew he was the only one, Who could understand, Without judging, I always had a crush on him, More than looks, His deeds, Impressed me.
His nature and always there for me, These things went on adding, That feeling to me, If only i had him, Besides, Not only as a work partner, But someone to say as partner of life, What fun would the act of surviving be.
It turned upside down, When he said, He is looking for a switch, My mind was almost down the rail, Looking and wondering, How to survive, In his absence.
From Dreaming of him, To Being my partner forever, To settling down, With hidden crush, And then office colleague, To a best friend's zone, There was a storm within me, How would i survive, If my kit is lost, I would definitely, Loose in the wait of his hault.
I feel that sorrow, Deep down my heart, I feel that crying would make it a deep clean, Staright from the heart.
That tub of ice cream, Or may that be a great food dining, Or may that be a sound sleep every morning. I acknowledge them all, I agree little things are all worthy of falling for.
But how do I stop myself from dreaming big, For my mind reaches faster than my life's timing. Destiny plays a wired game with me always, She gets me closer and then at a sudden builds a long fence.
People always say, that don't compare with others, For your life is always special, Whether or not it bothers.
I would love to race with time, I would love to keep the pace alive. By the grace of my hard work, I acheived many, Still I dream for big, But my destiny forces me to find happiness in the little.
I wasn't God's favourite from the beginning i felt, Somedays i wept like anything, Forgetting the rest, Why me ?? Why me god ?
Why the moment I settled with a degree, Along with a job paying good salary, I had to see my mom go suffering, They say its all about karma, God has nothing to do about it.
But what about the innocent helps, My mom extended always, Where they neglected in the name of "fortune", by anyways.
Hospital rounds and the endless test, Why me and mom to face this, At such a tender age.
Why me god ? Why me ? I know you came to my rescue, for many times, But still why aren't we your favourites.
Even I want to dream big, Not only dream, Just jump and wake up, To see what I dreamed.
Merely because I am happy with small and little things, Does that mean, your duty for my care, just ends in a spree...? Could you please come to me, Give me those wings, Help me fly high and See the world before I die....
Let me dream big, God please give me the happiness, I always saw as a fairy tale....
Enough of challenges, I feel I have crossed them all, Now make my life a beauty, Like a gigantic waterfall.
Dear God, I trusted in you and your timings, Now please come to my rescue, And let me live big, Cause dreaming, Isn't enough, You have to actually live.