I would say I hit a new low, but I know that the path might have twisted differently and perhaps I haven't tread on the dirt I sit in now; oh, but I know the stench of sin when it creeps in.
Its musk seems to invade every pore, I know I alone will never wash it out.
It started like any other downfall, the forbidden road calling with its unknowns and “what ifs”, a siren song I couldn't bring myself to resist.
Just a few steps, convincing myself that a peek would be beneficial really, how can I meet them where they are if I don't know where that is?
I drew a line in the sand that I promptly walked past only to do it all over again every few feet.
Each time saying “ I should turn back” only to cave like the addict I am at the loneliest of times, my eyes glazed over with selfishness and pride; grasping for empty treasures.
I ran in the dark, surprised to fall in a trap and now I sit, stubbornness griping me still as though I have the high ground.
I can see the faint glimmer of your holiness in the distance, the only light that breaks through and can illuminate this eternal night.
I don't know what is more telling to me, how far I have run or that in spite of it all your grace has reached me all the way down here.
As tears roll down my face you gather my broken pisces
Through my many mumbled apologies and begs for forgiveness i know i am undeserving of, you lean down with a gentle kiss and make me whole again; saying
“ My child, you have already been pardoned.”
So let me sing your praises to the end of every universe, with all creation we declare your love and grace.
Our voices rise for all to hear, saying:
Oh sweet grace, is there a more heavenly taste, i think not.
The richness of pure forgiveness wrapped in honeyed mercy.
A delicacy not fit for a mouth such as mine, yet you shower it upon me all the more.
Let no other touch my tongue or soul, for after this anything else only leaves a fake aftertaste.
Let me only drink in your purity in utter awe.
Let it transform me from the inside out to be ever more like you.