#heruinedmylife

2 posts
  • amyjoylouise96x 12w

    Wish you could read this.

    Lets talk about all the times you hurt me, God sometimes i wish i hurt you too
    Because everyday i tried to do and be the best for you and after all that we were through.
    All those times you begged me to stay and i did i stayed by your side
    That time you sent me a love song & you pictured me as your bride
    What happened to all of that why couldnt you try to make things right
    I'll never forget that heart sinking feeling when you left me that friday the 13th night.
    You threw away what we had and could have had over a lousy text
    Left me here wondering who was your next
    I begged you to stay and you didnt so i fell down and i've never been the same
    You left someone who would have never given up on you, boy your ass is lame.

    You still hurt me like you did
    & boy you lied about forever
    Because we didnt last that long at all
    Were we ever really together?
    ©amyjoylouise96x

  • amyjoylouise96x 27w

    My story.

    Lets call it 'our valentines' shall we
    The morning after a lovely night at Frankies
    Didnt see it as a big deal until we were no longer together
    Guess i was too blinded by the love i thought would last forever
    Wonder if you remember it yourself
    Doubt it because you only ever cared about you & your health
    On the other hand i always put you first
    Even when an argument would out of nowhere burst
    I was always wrong & you were always right
    I preffered to be in the dark but you continued switching on the light
    Everything had to go your way, never mine
    I always liked the rain, you liked the sunshine
    Anyways i'll continue with that morning shall i
    The morning i was looking out of the hotel window just watching the birds fly
    You woke up, as 'in the mood' as ever before
    Usually it was me who would ask for affection & more
    But no that morning you were a different guy
    Why didnt i see your true colours then, why oh why?
    You walked over to me and put your hands around my waist
    Those hands of yours i never wanted replaced
    I was so in love with you i held on to your touch
    But you didnt just want a cuddle as such
    Which would have been okay if i didnt repeatedly tell you no,
    I was like 'wear protection & your good to go'
    But you ignored me everytime i didnt give you that consent
    Where was the condom? It was supposed to be the main star, it was supposed to represent
    You couldnt be 'bothered' getting one and so you proceeded
    I'm sorry but were my words misleaded?
    After that i remember talking about what happened on the phone to my bestfriend
    She believed me straight away for my words were not pretend
    I was there looking at make at home pregnancy kits because i thought i actually was
    I even refused to sleep on my belly, y'know just because
    But then i had a test before getting the birth control you could have waited for
    Then you wouldnt have had to use anything, just like my ex's before
    I was always the one who fought for us & made the plans
    Excuse me but werent you meant to be the mans?
    Our relationship carried on for many months after that day
    When you left me i wanted you to stay in some way
    So i reflected back on all our memories & thats when i remembered that morning
    & i hated myself for not seeing that as such a huge warning
    I was so desperate to keep you in my life it was really tragic
    I thought by blackmailing you, you would stay as though it was magic
    I only wanted to stay friends & you treat me like a complete stranger
    The funny thing about that was you were the danger
    I couldnt go to the police because i'm not one to ruin anothers life
    Probably would have been less painful if you'd have just stabbed me with a knife
    I stopped living & started hiding all because of you
    & the days went by through & through
    Not one apology, you didnt even care to give closure
    So this is why theres this exposure
    I'm tired of keeping quiet
    & yes it may cause a riot
    But you're lucky you got away with what you did to me
    Not every woman would let you off so easily
    I want to say thanks though for from you i have learnt not to chase
    So if someone wants to hurt me, lets have a race
    First to the finish would be me
    & before they even try i would flee
    For many, its traumatic to remember their assault
    But just because there was a relationship, doesnt mean it was a default
    Its something that will scar me for as long as i'm alive
    But dont worry, for the pain, i 'will' survive.

    ©amyjoylouise96x