What you'll never know
It's killing me
I don't feel like myself anymore
Why is it like this?
I know it's a love I'll never have
And I simply can't bear not having you
And I can't get rid of my emotions either
You don't even do anything
And I'm here mad for you
There isn't a single time I stopped thinking about you
I keep checking your profile
Your last seen
Your dance videos
How did you make me this way?
I was never the type to fall in love seriously
Except celebrities, I have never known no crush
And one fine day you dash in
Without a warning
About the mess I'm throwing myself in
Do you know,how special you are?
Your voice is low,firm yet soothing
Your monotonous Telugu I don't understand
And when we talk other way, somehow it's crystal clear
And I genuinely want to know about you,so much
If there's someone you like,if you had a bad day today
What gives you peace?
You sleeping well? What's your favorite movies?When are you the happiest,the liveliest?
Is anything bothering you? Are you sad?
Can I do something to make you happy?
You love food? Shall I learn to cook?
You like Rajput style? Should I dress up once?
But I could never ask
You never let me
Were my texts bothering?
Because you have hundreds of lovers around
I was probably one of them too
But knowing I was just another
I thought I'll be happy as long as I love you
You needn't reciprocate
But I was wrong
It's paining me in a way I never felt
I have things to get done
Important ones,very important ones
But I'm unable to
All I could think is you
You are a really kind soul
Do you know how rare it is right now in this world?
Never do you shout
And the silent support you give everyone,
Inspite if your awkwardness
It makes me more confident Sir
You know how much I crave your hugs
Your broad built makes me want to feel your warmth
It feels like it would calm me from everything that hurts me inside
I can never stop admiring you
Your tall figure,your dark skin,the yellow eyes
Those eyes,that trap
Those eyes,that actually smile
Those eyes that I first saw,as you were in the mask
Those eyes that I madly fell for
I'm drowning in it, and don't want to be saved
Those deer legs,the gentle walk
The big lips,when you smile reveal your oh-so-pretty crooked teeth
I could go on about you forever
You are the most beautiful person l know
It's only and only you for me
But I never pursue you
I don't even know your feelings
It's a painfully forbidden love
I cried my heart out and decided to end my feelings
But one look,one look of yours
One second I'm smiling,the other I'm bloody depressed
Even if I'm glad I could meet you
I deep down wish I didn't
It's painful,it's really painful
Letting go of what's not mine
What will never be mine
Not liking the emotional mess I am right now
Not able to move forward
The rules I'm breaking
The hurt I'm giving myself
The agony I'm making my soul go through
I can't take it, I really can't take it anymore
How to keep going on?
I can shut my eyes but this heart is a traitor
It wouldn't let me forget you
And I don't want to forget you
Loving you and killing me feels the same
Sir, I am absolutely, unconditionally and madly in love with you
But I don't want to.....................
I really don't want to......................
It's too painful
I can't hold on to my one sided emotions
Take it back
Throw them away
Please throw them away