I look around, I see black walls! I'm stuck in my brain! Waist deep in the mud while I'm trying to make it out the rain!! My soul is scarred with pain, I bet when people hear this they will say "Dang" my pain and your pain ain't the same! I look in the mirror I start to scream! I'm tired of this I'm tired I want out! Trying so hard but always having doubt! They say you should ask for help well I'm screaming.. but no one listens! Just wanting to hurt while I'm in rage! Sober thoughts are not for me!
Wanted me to go sober so I did, I'm thankful I don't have any kids! What I look like being a failure? Setting no example.. for example here is a sample. Ticking time bomb that's what I am..scars on my body and my hands! Destruction is what comes to mind when I'm working on my self like construction! I just wanna break everything and it ain't right! But this is what my brain deals with when it comes to Night...or Day..I still pray but I feel like the sins I've done won't ever let me be okay.. my brain is really torn apart like it was put through a shredder! This the only thing I can think of to make me feel better..I need help & and I pray one day I get it if not just please visit every now and then I'm 6ft below resting.
When I lost 4 family members in one month it turned me to a different person like a permanent numb...I can't keep a smile if I do I feel dumb. I'm sad I'm scared but in the end, no one will care.