#denial

378 posts
  • sidharth_jeevakumar 1w

    Denial

    ..
    She brought me joy,
    Being nothing but herself.
    She will deny it though,
    Saying that it is all me.


    ©sidharth_jeevakumar

  • loftydreams101 6w

    A True Love's Deep Slumber

    Laughter sails into the mist
    Giving way to church bells
    Ringing over silent acres of stone
    ~
    Cold and bloodshot stares
    Live in warm summers past
    Turned away from the agony
    Of their desolate march
    ~
    The trail sways in song
    Toward the earth’s black wound
    Slow and steady in denial
    Of their truest love lost

    © 2021 William Wright, Jr.

  • edward_3355 7w

    Denial

    Is there any hope
    Is there any way to stop
    When memories are overwritten
    in denial
    to cope


    ©edward_3355

  • wmbanje 8w

    "i LOST me
    through
    DENIAL
    &
    FOUND me
    through
    ACCEPTANCE"
    -wes mbanje

  • sarie_the_writer 15w

    I wish I can put in words
    How I truly feel about you
    But it's hard to explain
    And all I want is for you to stay
    But these words have the potential to make everything change
    Like it's complicated and confusing
    Any yet theses feelings are all too familiar
    Like Ive been here before
    But I’m not sure if I chose the right door
    My body is consumed with so many different feelings
    that brings happiness but fear
    Cause I created walls so no one could be near
    No one could hurt me and yet
    You are too close to me
    And so I want to run
    Away that is
    But my thoughts are consumed with images of you
    And the taste of you all too familiar
    Even your smell it consumes me
    And I find myself thinking about you when I shouldn't be
    Like in this moment and in the next
    And the sex oh my God the sex
    Got me feeling blessed when I feel you
    And All I want is to feel you
    Touch and hold you say I love you and you know I love you
    These feelings are so confusing
    But it's not lust but I still feel like im losing
    Myself that is
    Control that is
    I obsessed over details and analyze
    Making my next moved before I blink my eyes
    Because it protects me
    But I fear losing a bond that I never had with anyone else
    Something so beautiful and caught in-between being unseen and seen
    A love I never shared with anyone else
    Deep conversations and just being me
    So I try to build walls
    That you cant break through
    But somehow these thoughts break you through
    I Pull back just to not be too confused
    And I listen to your words
    Not expecting anything more than what I've heard
    Blinded by a feeling I hid for decades
    Cause I made a choice in order to stay
    Keep something that I never wanted to lose
    And just seemed like everything I touched crumble before therefore I had to choose
    And I wish I could really expressed this affection that shouldn't be affection
    But I smile with the expression
    Cause I can't get you out of my head
    Walls are down
    I'm defendless
    So listen and prepare
    For the moment I want you here but you can't be here
    And I just want you out of my head
    But your voice makes me smile
    And your presence make me feel safe and alive
    So I become silent
    Cause I want you stay
    And my words aren't my words anymore
    Classical denial and fear
    But never regret for I still believe
    What is mean to be will be
    So I close my eyes and dream
    Trying to see what will be
    And I wish I could put in words
    How I truly feel about you
    But there's no words stronger than
    I love you
    ©sarie_the_writer

  • maevee 15w

    Stupefied
    Denial
    Withdrawl
    Self Accusation

    This is a vicious cycle for an eternal life of pain.

    Disclaimer : These are the symptoms of people who don't grieve because they can't accept what has happened instead of letting it sink in, pause and deal with the grief, they carry it with them like a heavy weight on their shoulder even though it's not theirs to carry.
    No, don't get me wrong.. it's not like they can't, they very well know how to process it but they don't want to deal with the possibility of a loss. They resist change, they're stubborn and adamant.

    So instead of processing the trauma, accepting it, letting themselves vent and grieve. They just show up to work the next day after a loss of a loved one, they don't miss a single day of work since they think that's what keeps them going.
    They're hard working, quiet but as loud as they can be in other ways, efficient, ambitious in fact.

    They're survivors, and the thing with survivors is that they live on their emergency brain and the thing with emergency brain is it responds too quickly, so anything that their emergency brain fails to process, it gets stuck in the loop as their emergency brain only keeps analysing without concluding, resulting in a vicious cycle where they basically torture themselves, unknowingly.

    They now only have different scenarios associated with the memory and they choose the best logical reason to comfort us or to reason with. They instead of letting themselves feel the pain and grieve, choose to torment themselves with a lie, with a piece of logical reasoning in their brain. They choose an eternal life of pain by running away from it. They escape reality, they keep running away, choosing to comfort any other soul for a brief moment that they stay with and then they move on to substituting it by another person or thing to fill that void in them.

    How to identify them?
    They lose their patience too soon, they're anxious all the time, there's always a rush, an edge to things, one race after another leaving them with no time to breathe, while fixating on achieving milestones after milestones.
    They end up crying on silly things like being unable to open up a lock, they get drained of their energy, end up getting hang and shutdown in every couple of months. But they always gather their pieces and pull it all back.
    They look really calm on the face though so you'll have to look closely, if you'll look at the signs voila! you've identified.


    @mirakeeworld @miraquill @mirakee_words @mirakeeans @mirakee_post
    #denial #withdrawal #selfaccusation #overthinkers #livealittle #liveyourlifetothefullest #ambitious #eternity #anemptyvoid #love #letgo #moveon #toreality #toescape #toletbe

    Read More

    Stupefied
    Denial
    Withdrawal
    Self Accusation


    ©maevee

  • juhlianne 16w

    One day…

    One day, I would care-less
    I would stop asking questions
    I would smile endlessly and laugh at each sentence

    One day, the mirror would remind me of who I was before you
    One day, the apologies will no longer matter
    The silence would not bother me anymore

    One day, I won’t be here when you come home drunk
    That day, I would be miles away from you;
    Basking in my new-found freedom

    That day may be tomorrow.

    - Teewrites🌹

  • goddessbittersweet 16w

    Combination challenge

    My sweet love, how has it come
    For us to be once again be blind

    Should we not rise above our ego
    Tears once more flow
    With mistaken words, that only time will heal

    The denial among our true love, once again fool our thought.
    My soul ached for with yourself,
    the storm and thunder Stirring inside your heart.
    Can you hear me? Can you still see me?

    My love for you, is a faith which can not be undone.
    The universe will simply just bring you back to me.
    Whether this a curse, or whatever you need it to be.
    Promise, as forever, I love you.
    For this is our beautiful nightmare.
    ©goddessbittersweet

  • pink_blue 16w

    Combination:
    The stars in your eyes shall live longer than history and Denial

    #combination #contest #mirakee #writersnetwork #denial #wod

    Read More

    Denial

    The stars in your eyes shall live longer than the history; but the denial to your beautiful heart shall always remain as a mystery

    ©pink_blue ️

  • ranger9 17w

    What is it that you feel?
    - Grief
    What is it that you desire?
    - Peace
    What is it that you show?
    - Rage
    What is it that you need?
    - Reassurance
    What is it that you want?
    - Truth
    What is it that you give?
    - Care
    What is it that you do?
    - Hurt

    Is any of it even real?

    ©ruz

  • lollipop71 18w

    My Love

    Is a gift to my heart,
    He gives me strength when
    I am weak.
    He gives me hope when I
    Am in denial.
    He makes me smile, when I
    Really want to frown
    He helps me remember
    Why I am still here when I
    Just don't feel like being
    Around.
    My Love.
    ©lollipop71

  • idrisyeverdd 22w

    Wish I'm good for you

    It was a typical sunny day, classes were off,
    I was sitting alone in the park, reading my book.
    You walked past me, with your friends,
    It took a moment to turn your head to me,
    I pretend to never saw you,
    You felt the spark, you want to lit,
    That's your greatest mistake.


    I'm not the girl whom you think    
    I keep wishing that you never saw me.
    I keep pushing you away from me,
    But you always find a way to me,
    Why don't you forget me, and leave me?
    I'm not good for you,
    Don't run after me,
    I'm not the one for you


    It wasn't a good day, I was off,
    Locked me in the bedroom,  crying on the floor.
    You knocked on the door, you wanna change my mood,
    It took all my strength to shut you out,
    I pretended to hate you,
    You knew I was lying, you wanted to comfort me,
    That's the biggest mistake,


    I'm not the girl whom you think    
    I keep wishing that you never saw me.
    I keep pushing you away from me,
    But you always find a way to me,
    Why don't you forget me, and leave me?
    I'm not good for you,
    Don't run after me,
    I'm not the one for you


    You kept coming to me, Baby, you don't know me,
    I will only hurt you,
    And I don't want to see you (hurting)
    I beg you to go away..
    'cause
    I'm not the girl whom you think    
    I keep wishing that you never saw me.
    I keep pushing you away from me,
    But you always find a way to me,
    Why don't you forget me, and leave me?
    I'm not good for you,
    Don't run after me,
    I'm not the one for you


    I would want you to stay with me,
    If I didn't love you like I do,
    It's so sad, so hard, so bad
    that I'm not good for you....


    ©idrisyeverdd

  • journeyhale 24w

    Impossible

    We are impossible, you and I.
    We explode and attract like matter reconfiguring itself, every time different but the same.
    We build walls and reinforce them with platitudes and jokes that touch the surface of things we'll never say because we are both too afraid.

    You, of change.
    Me, of rejection.

    Our boundaries are so damned solid that if we broke them we wouldn't know who we are anymore.
    This may be the castle that we will die trying to conquer, where the undercurrent in the moat drags at us constantly.

    I can't even say I want you. I can't say that I want to share your space and feel your hands on me.
    To breathe you in, panting and gasping.
    To drown in you because this chemistry is intoxicating and addictive.

    Some days I don't care about the consequences.
    God, it's like an explosion waiting to happen that is a bomb ticking into infinity.

    I fucking think about you and I hate it because you dominate my thoughts with your voice and your words.

    You're my downfall and the one thing I will never have.
    ©journeyhale

  • mrspectacular 25w

    HIGH FIDELITY

    _____________
    David and Vera sit at a club on a wonderful Friday night drinking in the atmosphere while sipping on drinks as their other friends party hard. In the ire of the moment, they begin to talk about a whole lot of things bombarding each other with new developments in the clique and other news. Suddenly they run out of things to talk about coupled with the fact that David has had too much booze, he asks that they share each other's secret.
    'How about this?.... Let's talk about secrets', he says with a belch
    Surprised at the suggestion; she posits that the information is called 'secret' for a reason meaning it is not meant to be divulged but pressuring her to play his game of secrets and scandals, she gives in.
    'Okay...okay', she begins. 'But you have to go first y'know.... It's only right since you came up with the idea'
    'Alright... Alright', he begins drunkingly. 'So you want to hear my secret?'
    'Yeah...I mean it's your idea', she says with a chuckle in her voice.
    He leads into the valley of secrets buried by time asking Vera to brace up for what he is about to drop on her. He seems so happy to reveal the secret or maybe it is the alcohol of which his breath reeks of. He steadies himself in his chair and taking a look into the sky as if embarrassed by the secret he says,
    'I have never had sex in my entire life so far'. Immediately after revealing his secret, as if it is what is keeping him from falling asleep from the excess booze he has so far drunk, he falls to the table in a deep sleep to Vera's astonishment.
    'Hmm... That's nice', she says as she strategizes for whatever reason to capitalize on the divulged information. Finishing up her drink and his, she beckons to Tim, one of the friends shared by David and herself to assist her in carrying him to the car so she could take him home seeing that he is drunk.
    A few minutes later, she arrives her house with David still asleep in the car and is enthralled with the fact that her plan would pull through smoothly. She has everything carefully planned and taken care of, having her bath, waxing herself, protecting both themselves. All of these brought on by a little secret game, she feels a bit horrible that she is about to violate the pure young man but has the epiphanic thought that he will enjoy the moment just as much as she would or even more considering the fact that he is the man believing he has probably been fantasizing about this moment.
    She has her way with him for a full hour undisturbed. While still in the ecstasy of the moment, he begins to wake up unknown to her as she rides him with closed eyes revelling the experience. It seems scary to David watching Vera ravish him like a plate of food because to him, they were both on board with the chastity thing.
    Vexed by the situation, he pushes Vera off of him wondering what could have been the reason for such a callous act as raping him. Picking his clothes off the floor, he runs out of the room and into the sitting room. Putting on his clothes and shoes, he storms out of the house weeping like a child as he jumps behind the steering wheel of his car which Vera had driven him in and zooms off to his house.
    Although still very mad at Vera, a few minutes after he gets home and takes a shower, he calls her up apologizing for getting so furious with her,
    'Hello Vera', he says with a calm voice.
    'Hello David darling', she says coyly. 'I'm guessing you enjoyed it and are calling to fix a date for some more. I....'
    'Come off it, Vera', he screams disappointed in her words. 'I did not. For God sakes, I was a virgin and now you have ruined me'
    'C'mon... Don't be such a child', she yells over the phone. 'You are acting like a wussy....'
    '....You know what, Vera? I can't deal with you right now', he says sounding really surprised at her character. 'In fact, I never want to see you anywhere around me again, okay? Goodbye'
    Unbothered, believing David is blowing the matter out of proportion and acting erratically, she lets go.
    David seems satisfied that he has let Vera off lest she re-enacts the awful stunt but is vexed that he has lost the chastity he had nurtured for twenty-nine years to something other than his wife, he believes he is yet to meet.
    He finally decides to move on with his life after two years of mourning his precious virginity. Vera crawls out from her hiding place into his sight while he is at the bank for a little transaction. One he could have done from the comfort of his office right on his IOS phone but probably by the working of fate, he decides to come to the bank to do the transaction. He comes upon Vera right there at the teller desk to his right.
    'Vera', he calls out on noticing her.
    'Yes can I...' she looks up from her phone and realizing it is David. She yells his name before suddenly remembering she is in the bank after one of the security guards gives her a warning stare.
    Vera feels so happy to have stumbled on David,
    'Wow, we have a lot of catching up to do', Vera says looking into David's eyes so happily. 'I'm so excited. Here's my card. Call me so we can meet up for lunch, dinner or something'.
    David feeling almost very contemptuous takes a look at the card and remembering what had happened two years back returns the card to her,
    'No-no...No-no', he objects. 'I can't have you do that to me again'
    'What are you talking about?' she queries.
    'The rape', he whispers. His voice shaking a bit as he recalls the horror. They are engrossed in the topic when the security man comes over again to tell them their lines are moving.
    'Don't be silly Dave. This is a new Vera you are talking to', she says as they move along in their lines to their cashiers.

    He ignores her words which he perceives to be lies and moves along to meet the cashier to execute his transaction leaving her dumbfounded for about a minute realizing she may have made an error approaching him in the first place.
    Parting ways again, they go on to complete their transactions and leave the bank together before going their separate ways to their cars. They both stare at each other for a short while before jumping into their cars and pulling out of the bank premises to their various destinations. Getting home, thinking about the episode that happened at the bank earlier and recalling the fact that Vera had practically raped him some years back, he has an erection thinking about his encounter with her at the bank.
    'Maybe life's telling me something. Maybe she is my wife because I had made a promise to myself to keep myself for my wife and my wife alone and I am not dead so it must mean something. Maybe she is my wife. I mean she has been coming unto me for a long time now. Maybe she is my wife hence the reason she was first and yet I am not dead'
    He ruminates a little longer before deciding he would hit it up with her the next time they cross paths. The following months, their paths unfortunately do not cross again. It seems as though fate decides to punish David for not grabbing the opportunity when it did present itself the first time. They are both miserable until on the thirteenth day of the third month after the episode at the bank, they cross paths again while both in Russia for a summit.
    At the summit, they can hardly concentrate as they steal glances at each other distractedly. Somehow they seem to have tuned out every other person and thing in the hall. It becomes a break in their stay in the summit when they are noticed,
    'Excuse me, Mr. David and Miss Vera', Professor Tamaran Gogh, the convener of the Summit calls out as he bangs on the podium to get David's and Vera's attention. 'Do you both need a break or something?'
    'Oh, me....', David asks unsure he is the one being spoken to by Professor Tamaran Gogh
    'Yes.... Yourself and Miss Vera over there', Professor Tamaran Gogh says adjusting his glasses. 'You look like you both are getting bored with the session and need to be excused to be some place else'.
    'Not really, Prof', Vera explains.
    'You know what?', Professor Tamaran Gogh suggests. 'I think we all do need a break. We have been sitting and listening for the past hour. A lunch break would not kill anyone. Let's take thirty minutes to relax and ruminate on what we have discussed so far.'
    Happy about this, David hurries over to meet Vera who is on her way out of the summit venue for a refreshing walk around the venue.
    Taking a deep breath he begins,
    'I have been acting like a kid who does not know what he wants exactly but over the past few days, I have realized that there is nothing I would want more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Going down on his knees, he pulls out a ring. 'This should have come sooner and I am terribly sorry for the delay but Vera Emerald Rudfeller, would you do me the pleasure of spending the rest of your life with me?'
    Vera pauses a bit smiling heartily as if about to play a fast one and turn down his proposal before saying,
    'Nothing would make me happier right now than to keep you as mine forever so....Yes, yes my darling David Forster, I will marry you'
    Stretching her hands out to David, she pulls him up and in for a passionate hug and kiss as a mixture of tears and smile overrun her face.

    ©mrspectacular
    -------------------------------

  • nv_vie 27w

    YOU

    Did I have a chance
    To stand in front of you?
    You,
    with a heart to deny
    And a mind to forget…..
    ©nv_vie

  • anna_leigh 27w

    denial is harsh, and sometimes you don't want to admit you're wrong. #help #unwanted #wrong #harmful #denial #admit #writer #writersnetwork #newpoet #newwriter

    Read More

    Harmful Help

    Are they okay?

    Can I help them? 

    Maybe,

    If they ask.


    I’m going to help them.

    You are going to hurt them.

    I will not.

    You will.


    I will help as many people as I can,

    You help no one.

    I’m doing the right thing.

    You are doing the wrong thing.

    I am not.


    You are wrong.

    I am not wrong.

    You are hurting them,

    I am not hurting them.

    You are killing them.

    I am not killing them.


    But you are.

    I am not.

    You are.

    You have killed them with your unwanted help.

    They did not ask for your help.

    I do not care, I am doing the right thing.

    You are not.

    I am.

    No, you aren’t.

    Can’t you see?

    They are all dead.


    No they aren’t.

    I did not kill anyone.

    You killed everyone.

    Unwanted help

    Hurts more than welcomed help.

    You are telling them they need help,

    And that is wrong.

    You are wrong.


    I am not wrong.

    But,

    You are.
    ©anna_leigh

  • shaundele 28w

    Well,
    I don't miss you
    I just long for your presence
    I don't think of you
    You just consume my every waking thought
    I don't dream of you
    A figure with your features just visits every night
    I don't need you
    I'm just dying without you

    ©shaundele

  • evawrites 28w

    Scent of betrayal

    You wore the scent of betrayal
    The more I sniffed it, the closer I was drawn towards you
    I had never denied being in love, but for the first time, I was in denial
    Cause' after a few weeks, days or even years, when the scent will fade, you will too, I somewhere knew

    ©evawrites

  • aayu11 29w

    Grew up

    From
    unconditional Love

    To
    No more Love at any condition

    We all broken grow up


    ©aayu11

  • wespadeshere 29w

    Red is my color.
    Because it suits me,
    Not because I like it.

    ©wespadeshere