Pay attention and you'll see how often you talk to avoid awkward silence.
Since when did silence become awkward and constant, pointless chit chat become normal?
Of course having meaningful conversation and even casual small talk have their own beauty and place in helping us bond and have a good time.
But notice this: there are people who you're only comfortable having small talk with. Then there's some closer people who you have deep conversations with. But it's only the closest few people to you that you're comfortable being silent with.
That's because through words, you can only share your past or thoughts/beliefs with someone. Through your silent presence, you share your Being.
As you consistently become silent in your mind, your entire being (including your behaviour and speech) will always be spontaneously sprouting out of silence. Like Rumi, who would walk and whirl as words would spontaneously come out of his mouth. Words that people around him would rush to capture and record as poetry that would touch hearts for hundreds of years to come.
That's the beauty of one who has dissolved himself into silent presence.
Pay attention to the fact that in each moment, your mind is commentating on everything.
You live in your own secret world, full of judgements of others and yourself. Full of analyzing, strategizing, and subconsciously protecting.
What exactly are you constantly protecting though? Nothing but an self-image. An identity that comes with a narrative of past and future, loss and gain, suffering, desire etc.
Free yourself from this identity and just be present. Root yourself in this empty presence and slowly your limited self-image will begin to fade, as you expand into a spontaneous, unpredictable, free presence.
I continue to work towards a career and fulfill the day to day tasks that come up. I notice worldly desires pop up every now and then and that's something that we all have to deal with daily.
But honestly, deep down all of that becomes secondary when you come to see that all of that is temporary. Even the greatest moment, the greatest worldly desire fulfilled, the greatest achievement, will pass and become only a memory.
And it becomes obvious that the only worthy desire is that which gives continual, lasting rewards. In other words, the lasting peace, wisdom and love that comes from the desire to know yourself and God.
That's not to say that you shouldn't aspire to do great things, absolutely you should follow what calls you and aim to do it as best as you can, but the issue is with attachment. When we are attached to our desires and make worldly desires our primary desire, our peace and joy become dependent on outcomes.
Pay attention to what you're really working towards and what it will ultimately bring you.
Everyone will come to the true deeper desire at their own pace. If deep down you feel a bit lost in life, that is the blessing in disguise that will guide you. A lot of people, especially your loved ones will dismiss this feeling and tell you to focus on your career/studies etc. Do not ignore this feeling.
You can only find your way when you are brave enough to acknowledge that you are lost. You can only find something when you start to look for it consciously.
Seek (with a genuine heart and persistence) and you shall find.
You are only alive when you truly accept death. in each moment. When you consciously let go of your attachment to your body, to outcomes, to your life. Because you remember in each moment, the most overlooked fact: Everything you can see, including your family, friends, achievements, and even your body and mind, will soon be gone. The greatest blessing in life is to be constantly reminded of this.
To let go of every thing before actually losing it. This makes you appreciate it while you have it.
You are only alive when you truly accept death. in each moment. when you consciously let go of your attachment to your body, to outcomes of situations, and to your life. because you remember in each moment, the most overlooked fact: Everything you can see, including your family, friends, achievements, and even your body and mind, will soon be gone. The greatest blessing in life is to be constantly reminded of this.
A lot of people are full of fear and anxiety at this time. And I get it, there is a real threat to people with weak/damaged immune systems. But guess what weakens the immune system? Fear and stress.
There are a lot of theories about the virus and I've been researching a bit into it out of curiosity but I feel like in the bigger picture, what's more important to talk about is how we choose to respond to it.
Peace of mind starts with recognizing what is in your control and accepting what isn't. What is in your control is managing your diet, exercising, sleeping well, *getting fresh air and sunlight* and paying attention to your thought patterns, because they filter your experience of life.
The more you resist and fear what happens in life, the more you become blind. And the more you accept and live in the present moment, the more you start to see the beauty of it all.
This whole situation has not only been incredible for the environment, but has also given the majority of the world a chance to step out of the hamster wheel of non-stop working- go go go mentality. It has given us the opportunity to slow down, reconnect with ourselves, and to be reminded of what is truly important.
Relax, stay healthy, and instead of resisting the solitude, see it as a blessing to help you reconnect with yourself and get creative.
Free yourself from yourself. This is a short freestyle spoken word piece I wrote today.
We are all operating under a personality/identity. When we meet people, the behaviour we show is like handing them your business card which identifies you.
Every time you meet up with someone, they expect you to behave according to that same identity, more or less. We give some room for small changes in behaviour based on emotions/situations, but generally speaking we expect each other to behave in a consistent identity.
Why? Because it's evolutionary. As long as you stay consistent in your personality, the people around you can predict your behaviour and reactions, which provides a sense of safety and security to them. Unpredictability is unsafe. So our minds are conditioned to stick to an identity (which is formed through a combination of many factors--nurture and nature).
99% of people live their entire lives without ever questioning whether the concept of a personality is actually the truth of what you are. We just assume that our personality is who we are at the deepest level.
But as you start to take your attention away from everything outside of you and turn it inward, you start to observe yourself in each moment and notice that you are acting. Always playing this character.
The fact that something deeper in you notices that you're playing this character proves that you are not this character. So what exactly in you recognizes that you're playing this character? This the question you have to find the answer to.
This character that you and your friends and family hold onto is limiting your experience of life. As soon as you recognize this secret, you start to burn away your limitations and grow into your true potential in this life.
Your actions stop coming from past conditioning. You act spontaneously in each moment. You don't need to maintain an image for other people. You genuinely say and do what you feel in your heart in each moment without the pressure you used to put on yourself for pleasing the people around you. You open yourself up to possibilities. You become more grateful and start to move in harmony with life.
As you start to become authentic and let yourself be free, it's like a light starts to shine out of you everywhere you go.
Most people have been hiding in the dark caves of their limited self-images for decades, so when they're suddenly exposed to the light of your authenticity + freedom, it's like a flashlight shining in their eyes; they'll immediately want to dim your light.
Because your light exposes their conditioning. It exposes that they've been hiding their true self for decades, and it forces them to see themselves, which is very uncomfortable. So your presence will subconsciously make them feel insecure.
Depending on the person, they will either be inspired by your light, look at who they really are and come out into their own light. Or they will have to dismiss your energy mentally. And the easiest way to dismiss someone is to paint a negative picture of them in your mind.
So they'll perceive you as a "show off" or assume that you're trying hard to stand out, because they have no other way of making sense of your freedom. Of course they won't say this. You'll notice it in a subtle snicker or subtle joke when you dance, sing, or express yourself in a way that makes them uncomfortable.
In a subtle way that hides their insecurity, they'll try to undermine you. To pull you back down to their level as if to say "You're not better than me so stop acting like it."
Most people will quickly 'dim their light' to make these people feel more comfortable around them. But as Marianne Williamson said, 'Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.'
Any time you go through a storm, when it seems everything is going wrong, and your life is in chaos and your future is doomed, there is a simple yet profound recognition that frees you from this suffering.
And that is to recognize that the chaos only exists because you are continuously projecting it in your mind. Worrying/stressing about the future can only exist in the form of thinking.
Don't let your mind sabotage your peace in this moment by thinking about some imagined future. The storm is mainly this imagination. Simply stop feeding your thinking/worrying and snap your attention back to this moment right here right now. this endless Now is always the eye of the storm, and it is the only reality.
When you return your attention back to reality, you realize you're just chilling on your chair/bed, completely peaceful in this moment with no real threats to you whatsoever, other than the threats of your own thoughts about the future.
I can hear you say, "but I have real physical problems with real consequences that will come up, and they're terrible... "
Yes I understand. There is some level of planning that is required ahead of time for some situations (a lot less than we imagine, but still). If you need to plan, then take a few minutes to plan. Do what is in your control and then LEAVE IT.
Whatever happens will happen. Most of the time we spend the entire week worrying and freaking out about what will happen and trying to plan every little thing we'll do, and then when the time actually comes, something unexpected happens and everything just works itself out, one way or another.
Maybe if you learned to be present and to flow with life instead of trying to force your projections onto life, you would start to see the opportunities that present themselves in each moment. Ironically, you would handle the situation better if you simply stay present rather than spending the entire week worrying about it.
When you let go of trying to control how things go, you will start to see that life takes care of life. You will trust Life once again, like when you were a pure child. Then you'll see the peace and blessings that were here all along.
The second you say, "I've left the old me. Now I've found my true self" is the second you start believing in a new self-image. In other words, it's the second you start a new cycle of deceiving yourself.
We go on defining and redefining ourselves our entire life. putting on mask after mask. not realizing who/what exactly is trying on all these masks. not realizing who/what is playing these roles in this play of life.
Think about who you were 10 years ago. Really think back and picture the person you thought you were back then.
Now think back 5 years ago. When you laughed embarrassingly at the 'you' from 10 years ago. If I had asked you 5 years ago "who are you?" you would've said "I have grown a lot, and now I've found myself".
But look at how much you've changed now from 5 years ago. If I asked you now, you would say the same thing. That you were young and a bit foolish 5 years ago but now you've found yourself and that this is the real you.
The wise realize that self-images change, beliefs change, and personalities change--and so they drop these concepts completely. If you truly see this, if you know this, you will realize that what you are cannot possibly be defined by a personality.
There is no "real you" that you unlock when you improve yourself to the right degree of confidence, skills and personality traits. So I'll save you a lifetime of searching for, and trying to become this perfect self. It doesn't exist.
So then what is the truth of who/what you are? If not a personality, then what exactly are you? This becomes obvious as you empty yourself. Empty of any self-image, empty of beliefs, empty mind in each moment.
Be empty and observe, with this question silently in your heart, as you move thru each moment of life. If your search is true, you will find true inner peace.
Why is it that inspiration always comes at the most random times?
Like when you're sprinting 'cause you're hella late, or when you're hands are full of dish soap and you're scrubbing away...
I feel like it's a game the universe plays with you. Like yo, imma throw some incredible inspiration/creativity at you, but at the most random times. And you're gonna have about one second to capture it in some way before its gone, forever.
Oh and it's not just one thing, it's a wave that comes. Like a live speech that has already started, and I gotta bust out a typewriter to keep up with typing the words, while listening to the speech as it's happening.
That's pretty much how every poem/verse of mine happens. Or at least that's how it starts. Once I write down a chunk of it, sometimes I'll go back and be inspired to add more to it. That's exactly what happened with this little verse.
Never thought I'd quote lil Wayne in my poetry posts but here's some deep bars from the man: "Life is such a f*ckin' rollercoaster, then it drops. But what should I scream for? This is my theme park. My mind shines even when my thoughts seem dark."
There's going to be ups and downs in life but don't get too caught up in them. Let this temporary journey of life be what it is without trying so hard to control it all the time. When you trust Life and start to simply observe with a quiet + empty mind, you'll start to notice the peace and blessings that were here all along.
You simply had your attention elsewhere so you couldn't see. You were too focused on talking to your mind about every little up and down in your life. Too busy trying to mitigate risks, analyzing, predicting, complaining, wanting more, etc. Too busy in your mind to see the peace and blessings that have always been right here with you.
Life is passing by. Are you living in it? Or are you constantly living in the movie playing in your head?
This movie world (aka the world of thinking) is blinding you from living in reality, like you're living in your own hidden bubble within the real world. If you've ever practised listening to the voice in your head, you quickly notice that it never shuts up. ever.
So what is it exactly that's constantly keeping you in this movie world, this world of thinking? The secret cord that attaches you to it is: the main character of this movie.
In each moment you are absorbed in either thinking about this character's upcoming future or ruminating about this character's past. Your whole life, you have been playing the main character of this movie that's constantly being projected in your mind. Your whole life you have assumed this character is you.
But how can you be this character/voice in your head if you can observe it? Who are you who is observing this character speaking in your head, telling stories to you?
This you have to find out for yourself, repeatedly inquiring every time you catch yourself in the world of thinking.
Who is the one telling the story and who is the one listening to/watching it?