2 posts
  • nitrousoxide 46w

    It's weirdly funny that how something that made me sad and hurt a day before doesn't matter to me anymore. I look deep inside me to know if I am acceptable this way? And as soon as this thought surpasses my mind I do not care about that fact as well because there arises a question, " Do I stop existing if I am not accepted the way I am?" No.

    But there's always a tingling in the spine of people near you, especially the ones who have tend to conform to certain standards and ideologies and any shift or diversion from that path is considered abnormal and unacceptable. I would be too bold to say this, but these beliefs which were created by one of our kind years ago, and it's a mockery that there are people out there, believing and following these without questioning and trying to seek reasonable answers.

    I point out the fact that it's someone's personal choice to have a faith and belief of their own but this does not give them the right to force their ideas on others, while discarding the people from their community who questions them. I understand the unreasonable need of human beings to not feel lost thus, they end up creating a belief system for themselves but don't you think, we are actually running away from a truth, the truth that we are actually lost amidst the questions of our creation, our purpose and the creation of this well calculated multidimensional world that we live in?

    On the other hand, if we were to be compared to the vastness of this universe, we are like a mote of dust floating in the morning sky, and it does make me feel bad but may be our only purpose was coming into being, evolving and perishing. But think about the chaos we have created around us about the mere act of living, so self-centred. If we were to compare ourselves with the other existing species then all that we had to focus was doing things which facilitates our stay on this planet and help us know about the universe and it's creation which indirectly increases our peaceful stay on this mere surface we stand on.

    How do we tend to forget and lose the bigger picture? There are issues such as poverty, starvation, water scarcity and a lot of other things and all that some people out there are fighting for, is what faith and belief someone has? Weird. Just imagine that there could be a universe smaller than the smallest sub-atomic particle known, there could be galaxies which could have creatures like us, and there could be a possibility that we are but their simulations; this ship of imaginations and thoughts are like a splash in a cosmic pond and it makes me chuckle that how this ship isn't able to sail the way it should and is continuously fettered by some ordinary senseless activities.

    I know that nobody isn't getting answers to their zany questions anytime soon. It's sad but this is how it is to be. You travel long distances; the fluid in your body flows a greater distance and a lot of thoughts, their interconnections and questions that take birth due to those thoughts seem to get lost somewhere between immensity and eternity, due to the sanity that human mind wants to find in every answer. And then one day, your feet cease in your bed and the fluid freezes in a while. Things which had seemed to have lost are found, at times only after cessation. I myself feel that certain questions either would never be answered or they would be known only after one knows the end.


    @hafeezhmha I'm definitely a Santa Claus.

    To be continued.

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    Avant-garde (VIII)

  • nitrousoxide 58w

    Long time no see? Probably. I had to take lots of deep breaths to start this series again. I mean I really have no idea as to what content I will be putting in here but let's see how it goes.

    May be I could tell you about the day I was out alone after a long time and how happy I was walking down the same street with a melting choco bar in my hand. Trust me when I say I am very clumsy. I was walking towards the rickshaw stand to get a ride back to my house while enjoying that melting ice cream and I remembered that I am carrying a five hundred rupee note and I need change of hundred rupee notes to get back to home.

    While passing by a nursery I thought to stop by and may be, buy few plants and get the change but then I am a clumsy and irresponsible person who would for sure forget those to water those little beauties but I came across this man, he had no proper shop to sell his clothes, jeans trousers to be precise, he was a roadside vendor.

    It usually feels awkward to ask for change when you are not buying anything or at times the vendors are too annoyed to give the change too. But still I approached this man with the ice cream still in my hand(Yeah, I am quite slow when it comes to finishing an ice-cream).

    I haven't met many people in my life or say I haven't met many people with whom I have ever interacted willingly, firstly, due to safety reasons and secondly may be because of the fear to be called out a creep. But this man was so polite. Like he didn't judge me for the mess I was in, the chocolate had almost covered my hands but when I asked him to wait, he waited patiently and then handed over the notes to me.

    I thanked him and he said a quick 'Welcome' with a smile. No. He wasn't a creep at all. I walked past him but that gesture indeed made me happy. Then again, I have this bad habit actually no, let's put it in a category of just "habit", of telling people close to me about these little incidents. My mom has been a great listener to all my blabbering and she is happy to know how I spent my time when I was out alone.

    And then, I shared this thing with a close friend of mine. And she told me that how making me happy or making me smile was an easy thing. Since then, I have been pondering about this. I have a quite bad memory when it comes to remembering faces but then these little gestures, they matter. I don't know if it's right or wrong. But may be being good to someone even if you don't know them or just smiling back doesn't always make you a creep.

    I guess this has been the most positive and happy post of this series or let's just say this could be the most optimistic thing I would have ever written in my entire life and it feels really good sharing this story again.

    Saying it again, I do not give suggestions as to how one should act or so, it's your will but do let me know about these little gestures which you might have remembered while reading this.

    P.S. not proofread. (इक्षा नही है)

    @hafeezhmha because you wanted me to continue this. I really don't know what's after this. XD

    I just remembered that I forgot to use punctuations so yeah, read it in one go. Lmao I suck at them ;_;

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