Today, I realise that mothers are more than anything soft drizzles that kiss a child in both failures and victories. Thank you for upbringing me as an independent woman. As I am holding my child in my arms, I think the same. I want to raise her as an independent, self-loving, compassionate woman. You are the one who told me, "unless we love ourselves, we would not be able to love others." I have always kept that in mind, and it has served me well in life. When my baby grows up, I will tell her the same.
Mom, as a child, whenever I did something that irked you, you would tell me, "maybe, you would understand this when you are of my age." I am realising that now. The role of a new mother is exciting, at the same time, tiresome. I often wonder how you managed us. But, I would not dare to stick to the cliche of calling mothers superwomen. Because, I know they are not. They are neither magicians nor superwoman. They are human beings who sometimes get tired of being a mother. They sacrifice because their heart is full of love. They are willing to go to any degree to raise their child well. But, they also need their 'me time' in life. They too have to pursue their dreams. I have never asked you about your dreams or wishes. I promise you that next time we will discuss that and do one crazy thing that you have always wanted to do in life. I know you would laugh reading this. That is okay. We have always pulled each other's leg, haven't we?
I feel exhausted, sometimes. But, I love this phase - seeing a tiny human growing up. The way she curiously observes everything, makes noises, giggles, mimics me and cries whenever I am not in her vicinity. I feel loved. It is a different kind of love though. Sometimes, her tantrums test my patience. But, I love her so much. Now, I know how much you love me.
I can never be you. I am an entirely different person. So, I will be a different mother. My perspective about child upbringing will be different from yours, for sure. But, I really hope I will love my child as much as you love me, and let her live on her terms when she grows up. Just like you allowed me choose my path. I owe you a lot. And, I love you so much.