So far the journey was good. So far I was nice thinking it is good. But then yesterday I realised I was bad. I never knew how or how much but I knew I was bad. So I decided to end the search of a destination. How shallow it would be to let yourself be lose and say nothing when your ground is turning you upside down. But, can you say anything at all? No. You cannot. You are not a nice person to say anything. You are.this person who never understands perspective. You are on a line. You are born whimsical. You are always busy getting busier and ignoring thoughts. You do not talk to your family. You feel fine but it is not. You are so much in invisible comfort that you are living in an illusion of something. Stay strong. It's never gonna break but it's gonna get worse. People are nice to me for no reason. I should have been nice to them in stead but I am in a bubble. I will never be able to come out and understand how much they love me. I only know love as red. Love can be a rainbow too. I am no longer in my world. I am gone with winds. To me, I exit. . . #diary#long#feelings#reality#ashamed#me#people#perspective#depression#failure#family#friends#love#queer#opening_up#whimsical#immature#emotional#selfish#worst#devil
I always wonder how does it feel to belong to the other side , to be able to be nastily powerful and have authority in hands , to churns someone's happiness against ur ego mince them into pieces , to crush their dreams and aspirations , to wreck their self confidence and water their path to self demolition , murder their ecstacy and euphoria for that little smirk of yours , to crush them beneath the shoes of domination , to strive excellence in your devilish chores , to wine up their salty tears for bed time tea , to break hearts like stones on glasses and how soulful a lullaby the cranky noice of their shattering faiths it becomes for you , I just always wonder!
The poem is meant to be read in one of either two tones. The first is normally where I assume the reader will be quite serious. The second tone is revealed as the poem goes on and is hinted at in the title which if defined almost verbatim could be written: ( drinking song: oh did you hear the news, about the mysterious and exciting love affair that happened while daydreaming)
Tone #1) serious Tone #2) a sarcastic, gossipy, "oh who likes who now girlfriend"