1 posts
  • angeldisco 161w

    Integrity - Joseph's Story

    Christmas 2018


    Last year
    At the time of Christmas cheer
    I shared the story of Mary
    This time, I want to explore from another side
    What was it like to be the Father of the Messiah?
    This is the story of Joseph
    What would it be like in His words
    Spoken in verse
    I call it Integrity

    My beautiful Mary
    So innocent and dreamy
    With her bright-eyed charm
    Playful, fun, devout
    There was no question
    No other to be chosen
    When asked, her father had no doubts
    Her mother no reservation
    And although I had grown up in a world where love was not in the marriage equation
    I loved her
    Her heart for God, her mind, her wit
    Her powers of persuasion
    I couldn't get enough of it
    And I hoped one day she could love me back
    Oh Mary and I
    We were engaged
    I thought I could fly
    Amazed and expectant
    And then she got pregnant
    The sense of betrayal and shock is beyond what I can process
    My mind is stuck in an emotional funk
    All I can think is:

    *Oh that Mary's not my lover
    She's just a girl who claims that God is the One
    And the kid is not my son*

    There's obviously only one thing to be done
    The whole situation is offensive,
    I'm on the defensive
    I've been known as righteous
    But I will be perceived as
    A first rate jerk
    A hypocrite, lacking judgment
    No self-control, no self restraint unable to even wait
    I was of the line of Kings
    Everyone will wonder how I could do such a thing?!
    How could she do this?
    Compromise her purity and not own up to it?
    And people, how dare they assume anything
    If they think this was me they don't know a thing

    *People always said be careful what you do
    Don't go breaking young girl's hearts
    Momma always said be careful who you love
    And be careful what you do*

    Well this time it's me who's got a broken heart
    By the law she should die
    She's betrayed her pledge to me
    I don't owe her a thing
    I could cause her suffering
    Matching the degree of my own pain
    It's the word of God
    It's the law

    But it's also Mary
    I still love her
    I want to protect her
    So I had a plan
    To maintain my honour as a man
    But not at her expense
    To be a line of defense
    For both our reputations
    But it hurts
    This deep disappointment
    And it's stress-filled
    This bitter pill
    And the emotion loop I'm in
    Makes me obsess again

    *Oh that Mary's not my lover
    She's just a girl who claims that God is the One
    And the kid is not my son*

    There's only one thing to be done
    So it's over
    I'll divorce her
    If the betrothal is dissolved
    Maybe this internal conflict can be resolved
    How could what she claims be true
    It's irrational, illogical, not possible
    It's got me tied up in knots, and so so blue
    Her words feels like fantasy
    And it's making me want to escape reality too

    Stunned, shattered, exhausted
    I passed out and in a dream my subconscious mind wandered
    To the worst case scenario
    Mary at the synagogue's threshhold
    And they're ready to stone her
    Absolution of the community
    Through honour killing
    But I felt horror and grief
    I didn't want this
    Lovely Mary at my mercy

    And that's when the angel appeared to me
    A light washed over the scene
    As a brisk brease stirred
    A sense of peace washed over me
    The pure love I always associated with worship
    And there He stood

    “Joseph, you descendent of David, the King
    Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife,
    Loving her for life
    She's telling the truth
    The Baby she carries
    Is not the product of immorality
    Divinely conceived
    The result of Holy Spirit's overshadowing
    She will give birth to a son,
    The Chosen One
    You are to give him the name Jesus,
    Yeshua, Jehovah Saves
    because he will save his people from their sins.”

    I awoke with a start
    And a pounding heart
    Such a mixture of regret and relief
    Faith and disbelief
    At what I had almost done
    My heart renewed
    It surged with love

    *Oh dear Mary you're the Mother
    You're the girl that knows that God is the One
    The kid is His only son*

    There's only one thing to be done
    I'll obey
    Mary, I'll take you as my wife
    Protect you and the child with my life
    Raise him as my own
    With the same love God has shown

    The wedding was a small hushed affair
    Hardly anyone there
    My declaration of paternity
    Had me branded indefinitely

    I had lived to be known as righteous
    But my heart has changed
    To be content with God's perspective
    My fears of disgrace realized
    Replaced by the honour of becoming God's choice
    A surrogate father to His son
    Oh the burden and joy of His Trust
    To embrace fatherhood
    To model manhood for everyone
    A challenge, a promise, an opportunity for His good work in me to be done
    And after His birth

    *I took Mary as my lover
    That faithful girl that knows our God as the One
    The Father of Our Son.*

    So much love inside me
    So much joy in my being
    I lost everything important to me
    To gain Christ
    And He added a wife, a family

    And in this experience I have learned
    It's easy to care about other's perception
    Or rely on what we see and think we know
    But God in His higher perspective
    Cares more about who we become
    So He shifts the laws of reality
    Causing our preconceived notions to be undone
    Pulling us into the mind-bending journey
    Of exchanging what we think we need to be happy
    For the joy of His life, the way He created it to be
    Replacing reputation with integrity
    And like Mary, I have no regrets
    I encourage all to learn from my experience
    Surrender to Him everything you value,
    All you hold on to
    Allow Him to bless you in return with His best
    The priceless experiences He has designed just for you


    ©angeldisco ©isometrikz © StephanieIsom

  • angeldisco 161w

    Pregnant with Promise

    Pregnant with Promise - a Christmas Poem 2017

    I had always been told one day one woman would be chosen
    The epitome of goodness
    Somehow deemed worthy
    To bear the Christ
    I never in my life
    imagined it could be me

    Just a young girl - Ordinary,
    I never had the air of royalty
    Experienced a priveleged life
    Gold, palaces, expensive clothes?
    Never meant to be a fashinista
    Sure my cousins were priests uh ...
    but ... Me?
    I was nobody, not special

    An introverted dreamer
    too prone
    to wandering off alone
    To wonder, to ponder, to think
    Sometimes so distracted I forgot to eat and drink
    "She's a real space case"
    That's what they said
    Their words echoed in my head

    Too romantic
    Come back to reality
    The world is too harsh for all your fantasy.
    No I was not her

    And this was not the age of Messiahs and Miracles
    This was the time of the Romans
    No omen
    or sign could dislodge them
    The world was dark
    Like the night sky over Nazareth
    And I was small, insignificant
    Not really meant
    To change the World
    I was not her.

    I could not see courage in myself
    Little more than the desire to help
    more likely
    Not the heroine of any story.

    Nevertheless ...
    He chose me.

    It's not something I understand
    How could anybody?
    Holy Spirit?
    Son of God?

    All I had was my humanity
    And an empty space - my heart, my womb
    Silent and vacant as a tomb
    Untouched, untouchable, preserved, reserved
    The invitation was given
    The word spoken
    I knew the Cost, the risk
    Like I also knew I was born for this
    That "no" was not a word to be said
    To the Living God

    He chose me

    I had no illusions
    ‎It would not be an easy road
    ‎The weight , ‎the load
    ‎of people's prejudice
    While ‎God called me righteous
    ‎I would be made scandalous
    ‎Giving up all earthly reputation
    ‎Enduring endless accusation
    ‎For heavenly honour
    ‎A wonderful idea, sure
    ‎For the distant future

    For now?
    They would see a young woman
    Without virtue
    Abandoned, worthy of death
    At the mercy of her betrothed
    A liar, concocting an unlikely story
    Claiming Glory
    To hide her shame
    Protesting innocence
    Placing blame
    On God
    The only One who Truly Knew

    That I chose disgrace
    To say yes to You

    To be the first to carry
    Eternal life inside me
    Infinity in finite me
    To nurture God's Son

    Invited to the process
    To love but not possess
    To prepare One
    Who would lay aside all reputation
    And give His all
    In death and resurection
    For you and me,
    All who would believe and receive
    His life into ourselves

    Beyond salvation
    He has issued an invitation
    He has asked permission to indwell
    In us, in you
    Letting Him fill
    Every broken space,
    every empty place
    Carrying his life inside
    To abide
    To experience His life
    To carry, to share His all
    In a way that will show
    Everywhere you go

    His life is free
    But there is a Cost - the Cross
    Placing Your All in God's hands
    Is something people don't really understand
    But coming from me -
    I said Yes to Him
    I have no regrets

    For You?
    He chose you too
    Please, don't hesitate to also say yes.


    ©angeldisco ©isomwtrikz ©StephanieIsom