It made me sing and dance with glee sometimes without, ever, really being mine.
Sometimes, it shattered me to see him devoured by another.
It made me wonder, why I could never have him?
Why it never wanted to be with me forever?
The light understood that I was a follower.
It lingered beside me form time to time,
Warming me from time to time, as if consoling me for not being able to give what I asked for,
Yet, it filled me with warmth and the energy to continue down the path I was on.
That momentary presence filled me with light inside, for me to find my way on my own for a while, when he was away pursuing his.
Perhaps it wanted me to be a light too,
To light up the path for others following me
and be self-sufficient.
Though being sufficiently distant,
It is the light my heart wanted to follow.
And I trudged along, aware of the consequences.
The deeper I went, the more difficult it would be to reroute.
Unless, I found a different light to show me the way.
Unless, I became the light it wanted me to be for myself and for others following my way.