“It’s an accident” they say.
“You took it wrong”
“I made a mistake”
“Please don’t tell, it will ruin my life”
What about my life?
You never gave that any thought then, why now?
Because you got…took what you wanted.
Yet, I’m supposed to endure the pain and relive the memory over and over again
To keep it to myself because it will ruin your life.
To me, “stranger danger” is a myth, that’s not to say it does not exist, but I have only ever known them as my true salvation.
Don’t trust a stranger? That’s rich.
It should be, don’t trust your friend.
Don’t trust your family.
Don’t trust your partner.
Don’t trust your co-worker.
Who can I trust?
I’m only 27 years old and those are the people I’ve been taught not to trust.
Thus, when you feel the tears
Hear the muffled cries
See the hidden scars
Don’t you dare look at me and call me dramatic, because you seen something I tried to hide.
I deal with the pain, the memories, and the re-victimization everyday.
The shame is not mine to keep yet it’s where it lives.
It does not matter what you do.
If you decide to keep it a secret or you set yourself free you will forever be forced to relive those moments, that you try so hard to repress.
To question what had happened.
To wonder how you brought this on yourself.
The only difference is you either question yourself or have the world question you.
So go ahead and cast your judgements and blame, because there is nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already said to myself.
But think about how your mother, your sister, your daughter, and your girlfriend felt because the one thing I can promise in this world today is, they have been where I have, and it is not a place you can ever leave.
So, my story is hard to read?
Try living it.