#Humor

1687 posts
  • mitesero98 1w

    Ishara

    Kehte hai
    "Samajhdar ko ishara kafi hai"
    Par jaruri nahi hai ke ishara samajhne wala har insan samjhdar ho
    Na samajhon ke kami nahi hai jo har ishare ko samajhne ke koshish karte hai.
    ©mitesero98

  • soliquince 1w

    Cause and Effect Full

    I can sing a couple of Eminiem songs word for word,
    and if it weren't
    for my lungs
    being shriveled up
    from more than a couple puffs
    and roids;
    my voice
    could move nations.
    Lines could bring lines to stadiums,
    rhymes would bring young kids who don't wanna do chores
    conform to the new age
    of degraded degenerates.
    Baptized in hentai,
    wait for your confirmation;
    incentivized to let that nut fly,
    (at least it's not to a cross dressed guy.)
    But I got your kid saying "Kawaii."
    Going out in public with a tail; (should've pulled out, right?)
    jewellery encrusted vultures widen their eyes, whiten a smile,
    asking somebody else's parents why, why?!

    Cause I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?

    Well I'll dance around
    like a circus clown;
    "hyuk hyuk" and a "fuck!" while I and your scarecrow wife are making out.
    (I mean your scarecrow wife and I,) will be, you know me,
    I went to your Mormon housewarming party last week.
    Calm down,
    this is a comedy piece for my ears cause I love the sound
    the internet makes when there's bars to whine about.
    Insensitive, irreverent, intelligent, but you'll never mention it.
    You just look for a bench to sit
    on the sidelines while your nine year old's coach wets his dick
    but you'll never mention it
    cause he's a family friend,
    and your balls deep into it.
    Cause you're intimate
    life's kinda stale, spice it up with your kid,
    then wonder why he likes men
    ten years off a bend getting bent over, getting strangled, coming again and again,
    but the "truth of it is..."

    I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?

    The more you powder your wig,
    the louder I spit.
    Bitch to me; call what I see,
    wash you out with brown listerine.
    Break hay fevers like an antihistamine,
    Cattle prod, culture shock,
    rip the feed muzzles off
    and strap 'em to your cock.
    Cowardly shit I am not,
    hourly grazing Tik Tok,
    Trolli sour gummy worms,
    I remember eating those alot.
    (Still do, guess nothing's changed, I thought I'd grown up and kicked the habit but...)
    Tick tock, tick tock,
    same differences,
    hold your crosses,
    all your salt, rosaries and holy water, (toss it!)
    Aim your crosshairs,
    pitchforks, remotes,
    weild your keyboards,
    (you're gonna need those...)
    empty your replies like gun smoke,
    you know you don't
    wanna look in the mirror, but I peer through.
    Can't see me like Nosferatu,
    or a two way tinted pane
    sucking your potential for attempted fame
    straight from the vein,
    while you bitch and complain...

    Cause I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?
    ©soliquince

  • soliquince 1w

    Cause and Effect pt. 3

    The more you powder your wig,
    the louder I spit.
    Bitch to me; call what I see,
    wash you out with brown listerine.
    Break hay fevers like an antihistamine,
    Cattle prod, culture shock,
    rip the feed muzzles off
    and strap 'em to your cock.
    Cowardly shit I am not,
    hourly grazing Tik Tok,
    Trolli sour gummy worms,
    I remember eating those alot.
    (Still do, guess nothing's changed, I thought I'd grown up and kicked the habit but...)
    Tick tock, tick tock,
    same differences,
    hold your crosses,
    all your salt, rosaries and holy water, (toss it!)
    Aim your crosshairs,
    pitchforks, remotes,
    weild your keyboards,
    (you're gonna need those...)
    empty your replies like gun smoke,
    you know you don't
    wanna look in the mirror, but I peer through.
    Can't see me like Nosferatu,
    or a two way tinted pane
    sucking your potential for attempted fame
    straight from the vein,
    while you bitch and complain...
    ©soliquince

  • soliquince 1w

    Easy to see Cause and Effect pt. 1 and 2

    I can sing a couple of Eminiem songs word for word,
    and if it weren't for my lungs
    being shriveled up
    from more than a couple puffs and roids;
    my voice
    could move nations.
    Lines could bring lines to stadiums,
    rhymes would bring young kids who don't wanna do chores
    conform to the new age of degraded degenerates.
    Baptized in hentai, wait for your confirmation; incentivized to let that nut fly,
    (at least it's not to a cross dressed guy.)
    But I got your kid saying "Kawaii."
    Going out in public with a tail;
    (should've pulled out, right?) jewellery encrusted vultures widen their eyes,
    whiten a smile,
    asking somebody else's parents why, why?!

    Cause I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?

    Well I'll dance around like a circus clown; "hyuk hyuk" and a "fuck!" while I and your scarecrow wife are making out.
    (I mean your scarecrow wife and I,) will be, you know me, I went to your Mormon housewarming party last week.
    Calm down,
    this is a comedy piece for my ears cause I love the sound
    the internet makes when there's bars to complain about.
    Insensitive, irreverent, intelligent, but you'll never mention it.
    You just look for a bench to sit
    on the sidelines while your nine year old's coach wets his dick
    but you'll never mention it cause he's a family friend,
    and your balls deep into it.
    Cause you're intimate
    life's kinda stale, spice it up with your kid,
    then wonder why he likes men
    ten years off a bend getting bent over, getting strangled, coming again and again,
    but the "truth of it is..."

    I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?
    ©soliquince

  • soliquince 1w

    Cause and Effect pt. 2

    Well I'll dance around like a circus clown; "hyuk hyuk" and a "fuck!" while I and your scarecrow wife are making out. (I mean your scarecrow wife and I,) will be, you know me, I went to your Mormon housewarming party last week.
    Calm down, this is a comedy piece for my ears cause I love the sound the internet makes when there's bars to complain about. Insensitive, irreverent, intelligent, but you'll never mention it. You just look for a bench to sit on the sidelines while your nine year old's coach wets his dick but you'll never mention it cause he's a family friend, and your balls deep into it. Cause you're intimate life's kinda stale, spice it up with your kid, then wonder why he likes men ten years off a bend getting bent over, getting strangled, coming again and again, but the "truth of it is..."

    I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?
    ©soliquince

  • soliquince 1w

    Cause and Effect pt. 1

    I can sing a couple of Eminiem songs word for word,
    and if it weren't for my lungs being shriveled up from more than a couple puffs and roids; my voice could move nations. Lines could bring lines to stadiums, rhymes would bring young kids who don't wanna do chores conform to the new age of degraded degenerates. Baptized in hentai, wait for your confirmation; incentivized to let that nut fly, (at least it's not to a cross dressed guy.) But I got your kid saying "Kawaii."
    Going out in public with a tail; (should've pulled out,) jewellery encrusted vultures widen their eyes, whiten a smile, asking somebody else's parents why, why?!

    Cause I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?
    ©soliquince

  • stevenlgoosby 2w

    Metaphorically

    I wonder if the man on the moon laughed
    when he saw the cow jumping over it...

    Or did he see dollar signs,lol!
    ©stevenlgoosby

  • unnatural 4w

    She
    Is a crypto currency,
    It made me to learn blockchain



    ಅವಳೊಂದು
    ಕ್ರಿಪ್ಟೋ ಕರೆನ್ಸಿ
    ನಾ ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲೇ ಬೇಕು ಬ್ಲಾಕ್ ಚೈನ್
    ©unnatural

  • realnotreel 5w

    ���������� ����������

    A little girl made of sugar and spice and everything nice was eaten by someone with a sweet tooth the size of an elephant’s tusk.
    Ah, he said, this darn tooth, it’s driving me nuts.

    Then another voice is heard. It’s the little girl’s father who says, have you seen a little girl made of sugar and spice and everything nice?–Incidentally, what’s that thing sticking out of your mouth like an elephant’s tusk?
    My sweet tooth, and it’s really driving me nuts.
    You ought to see a dentist.
    But he might want to pull it, and I don’t like people pulling at me. If they want to pull they should pull at their own pullables.
    So true, said the little girl’s father, people should pull at their own pullables and let other people’s pullables alone. But still, he asked again, I wonder if you’ve seen a little girl made of sugar and spice and everything nice?

    By Russell Edson.

    P.C. - Pinterest

    #shortstory.
    #humor
    #satire

    @writersnetwork
    @writersbay
    @mirakee

    Read More

    ©realnotreel

  • jyo_71 5w

    Beergasm gives the ultimate pleasure than an orgasm.

    ©jyo_71

  • jee_tu 5w

    They were good in chemistry

    Biology needed improvement

    So they were studying that together

    On the next chapter, she said let's stop

    He asked why

    She said she has her periods now

    He asked which period

    She said Maths period!!

    ©jee_tu

  • bishnucharanparida 6w

    Stranger

    On a train I met her,
    For me she was one stranger
    To love her I thought,
    She was bewitchingly hot
    Soon I knew,she was one transgender
    ©Bishnu Charan Parida
    ©bishnucharanparida

  • noor_ahmed 6w

    The paradox

    He was too lazy to propose her. She was so excited to refuse him.. What a paradoxical lovely 'un'- love❤

    ©noor_ahmed

  • jpwriter 8w

    People who say they have too much Time on their Hands,
    Must Have Very Tiny Hands

    ©jpwriter

  • seemamakealfaz 8w

    Dukh

    Dukh ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    Sabse bda dukh ,
    Usse bda dukh ,,,,,
    Tumhala babu shona buggu wuggu ,,,,,,,,
    Online hoker bhi message ka reply na karey.
    Call krne par v busy aaye number.
    ©seemamakealfaz

  • angelqueen 9w



    Wafadari toh janwar dikhate hain
    Insaan toh____
    (*aree aree kya galat sochne lag jate ho)
    Insaan toh insaaniyat dikhate hai☟︎︎︎
    (upar ki line mazak hai jo aap soch rhe the wahi sahi hai)

  • royce85 9w

    Life alert

    To all who feel like they might get raped forget the whistle sign up for life alert. When your knocked to the ground and can't get up hit the button and life alert is on the way.
    ©royce85

  • anas_husain 9w

    OVER

    What is walkie talkie?
    I Don't know... over.

    ©anas_husain

  • ashish_says 10w

    बेहद मोहब्बत करते हैं
    बेपनाह चाहत रखते हैं
    जब शादी की बात आती है
    घरवाले नहीं मान रहे हैं

    ©ashish_says

  • anas_husain 10w

    XTRA KNOWLEDGE

    What is gravity?

    When I fall its bloody gravity.
    And when I land perfectly that means I am clever than gravity.

    ©anas_husain