#Humor

1698 posts
  • unnatural 1w

    ಚುಟುಕು

    ಯಾರಾದ್ರು ನಿಮ್ಮ್ ಹತ್ರ "ಅವ್ರ್ ಹೋದ್ರು" ಅಂತ ಹೇಳ್ದಾಗ.
    "ದೂರ" ಅಥವ "ಯಾವ ಊರಿಗೆ"?! ಅಂತ ಕೇಳಿ.

    "ಛೇ!! ಮೊನ್ನೆಯಷ್ಟೇ ನೋಡಿದ್ದೆ, ಹೋಗ್ಬಿಟ್ರ..." ಅಂತ ಮಾತ್ರ ಕೇಳ್ಬೇಡಿ.
    ©unnatural

  • rose_quill 2w

    Sleeping Hero #3.1

    Sage jostled the shoulder of her sleeping companion. "Come on Alphonse, it's time to get up. It's a beautiful morning!"
    He borrowed further under the covers. "Sorry. I'm saving myself for the gorgeous afternoon."
    ©rose_quill

  • naqsaif 3w

    #hope#humor#insane#afterlife
    @mirakii@writersnetwork@writersbay
    @scribbles_of_azkiyah


    "Flirting with insanity was one thing; when insanity started flirting back, it was time to call the whole thing off".
    ~Rohinton Mistry.


    Sometimes insanity is all that sanity isn't.
    Great people embrace insanity with a pinch of humor. Be that person.

    Read More

    Insanity.

    In this life
    And after,
    Till eternity
    I hope you can endure
    All the despair
    And the sanity.


    ©naqsaif

  • ericajean 3w

    #gogyohka #wod #religious #humor..* I edited for more correctness and other personal reasons)

    Communion wafer
    Is
    Dry and
    Small
    Like my prayers

    ©ericajean

    Read More

    Sin

  • artisticallyworded 3w

    There are tiny things in life
    That can bring small joys
    Getting that one book you wanted
    Trying that new hobby you liked
    Acing that test you feared
    Cooking that one dish you tried
    Seeing the one friend you needed
    Holding the one person you love
    Unique
    To each person
    Theres no right or wrong way
    To chase happiness

    So don't be a buzz kill
    ©artisticallyworded

  • ndeenda_elao 6w

    Reading

    The first time
    I read
    in front of
    a class that is
    How prudent
    it was

    Hands so sweaty
    Legs too wobbly
    As I made my way
    Infront of the class

    Started off with
    a ssstutter
    That became
    a mutter

    My pace became
    faster
    Students began
    to utter

    And oh my
    Did I just say
    rook instead
    of look

    How sweet the
    reminisce faded
    As the class exploded
    into laughter

    ©ndeenda_elao

  • heartofbabel 7w

    [ Geriatric ]

    He wore a very course fabric
    That Geri "Ole" Atric
    So many looked past
    The display of that habit
    Just grumbled emphatic
    A rasp all in static
    And gummed on hard candy
    All day if he had it

    His shoes were long-trotted
    The laces all knotted
    His pants cuffed so high
    Revealing ankles all spotted
    His belt-buckle prodded
    From the leather dry-rotted
    And the handkerchief tucked in his shirt
    Was all wadded

    His knuckles were swollen
    His nose and ears growing
    His wobbly knees
    Prone to buckles and bowing
    Each day he was slowing
    Yet kept on foregoing
    And he walked with a cane
    Else he'd surely be fallen

    His eyes had dimmed-vision
    His hearing imprisoned
    All senses abandoned
    And failing their mission
    Yet each day had ambition
    To rise with precision
    Just to sit on his porch
    And glare at kids with suspicion

    He had trouble walking
    And breathing while talking
    And all of his teeth
    We're indentured in caulking
    His joints were all knocking
    His jaw prone to locking
    And just like his shoes
    He had holes in his stockings

    On the days he'd go out
    There was never a doubt
    That he'd check on the lawns
    By which ever which route
    And such things he would scout
    Like the cracks in the grout
    And let each neighbor know
    Of their faults with a shout

    And the children would scamper
    When they'd hear him come stamper
    And even the dogs
    Would go hide in a damper
    And no matter the manner
    Seemed all life tend to scatter
    And just saying his name
    Was a tool used to hamper

    So now when you get old
    And you start to erode
    And your mind just forgets
    Everything you've been told
    I hope you feel consoled
    Knowing you'll be so bold
    Just like Geri "Ole" Atric
    And the life he yet holds

    ©heartofbabel

    #HeartOfBabel #Babel #GaratheDen
    #Aged #Elderly #Humor

    Read More

    [ Geriatric ]

  • elfman 8w

    Your first art form
    Spat out the figures of contoured lips
    And unaligned lashes
    Asymmetrical branch
    Contextually born context before sovereigns of encounter
    Every sensory experience
    Can’t be counted on or counted
    A plume of smoke, of people
    Flume of wing, wink of nature
    Accounted for is the cognition
    Escaping the self,
    as mind has gone in hindsight
    Transgressed by hands and tongue and cheek


    ©elfman

  • ambivertquki 9w

    Soul that has been pretended
    from a long time, Really? Why?


    doing well or not
    I don't believe humans
    their humanity
    Sucked
    they aren't really
    all the time
    they pretended
    to be human
    even they are
    confused
    where to go?
    how to do?
    why to?
    what for?
    all goes in vain
    and makes you insane

    ~Ambivert Quki

  • kruthika_jasa 10w

    Humor

    When nothing is in your HANDS
    ...ASK your legs
    When nothing goes WELL
    .....go to HELL
    When nothing goes RIGHT
    . ....go to LEFT
    When you're TIERD..
    .....try still HARD
    when SOMEONE says..violets are BLUE.
    Then I say....blue's are RED...
    WHAT YUH SAY________
    ©kruthika_jasa

  • gj_silent_killer 12w

    Wife says to her husband:

    Roses are red
    Violet are blue
    If you will always
    Take me for shopping
    Then only I will give twice a kiss
    And will always love you
    ©gj_silent_killer

  • roadside_writer 12w

    If accidentally a guy walks in the girls washroom, instead of asking him to go out, I'll doubt myself : am I in the boy's washroom?
    Freaking anxiety?
    IDK
    ©roadside_writer

  • mysterious_writings 13w

    FACADE SMILE; INTO REAL ONE

    Acting like we are carefree soul and always happy will sometimes make us to smile little in real.

    (keyword:*lil)
    ©mysterious_writings

  • unnatural 13w



    ಅವಳೊಂದು
    ದೊಡ್ಡ ಕಾದಂಬರಿ,
    ಅದನೋದುತ ಮರೆತೆ ನಾ ದಾರಿ.
    ©unnatural

  • mitesero98 14w

    Ishara

    Kehte hai
    "Samajhdar ko ishara kafi hai"
    Par jaruri nahi hai ke ishara samajhne wala har insan samjhdar ho
    Na samajhon ke kami nahi hai jo har ishare ko samajhne ke koshish karte hai.
    ©mitesero98

  • soliquince 14w

    Cause and Effect Full

    I can sing a couple of Eminiem songs word for word,
    and if it weren't
    for my lungs
    being shriveled up
    from more than a couple puffs
    and roids;
    my voice
    could move nations.
    Lines could bring lines to stadiums,
    rhymes would bring young kids who don't wanna do chores
    conform to the new age
    of degraded degenerates.
    Baptized in hentai,
    wait for your confirmation;
    incentivized to let that nut fly,
    (at least it's not to a cross dressed guy.)
    But I got your kid saying "Kawaii."
    Going out in public with a tail; (should've pulled out, right?)
    jewellery encrusted vultures widen their eyes, whiten a smile,
    asking somebody else's parents why, why?!

    Cause I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?

    Well I'll dance around
    like a circus clown;
    "hyuk hyuk" and a "fuck!" while I and your scarecrow wife are making out.
    (I mean your scarecrow wife and I,) will be, you know me,
    I went to your Mormon housewarming party last week.
    Calm down,
    this is a comedy piece for my ears cause I love the sound
    the internet makes when there's bars to whine about.
    Insensitive, irreverent, intelligent, but you'll never mention it.
    You just look for a bench to sit
    on the sidelines while your nine year old's coach wets his dick
    but you'll never mention it
    cause he's a family friend,
    and your balls deep into it.
    Cause you're intimate
    life's kinda stale, spice it up with your kid,
    then wonder why he likes men
    ten years off a bend getting bent over, getting strangled, coming again and again,
    but the "truth of it is..."

    I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?

    The more you powder your wig,
    the louder I spit.
    Bitch to me; call what I see,
    wash you out with brown listerine.
    Break hay fevers like an antihistamine,
    Cattle prod, culture shock,
    rip the feed muzzles off
    and strap 'em to your cock.
    Cowardly shit I am not,
    hourly grazing Tik Tok,
    Trolli sour gummy worms,
    I remember eating those alot.
    (Still do, guess nothing's changed, I thought I'd grown up and kicked the habit but...)
    Tick tock, tick tock,
    same differences,
    hold your crosses,
    all your salt, rosaries and holy water, (toss it!)
    Aim your crosshairs,
    pitchforks, remotes,
    weild your keyboards,
    (you're gonna need those...)
    empty your replies like gun smoke,
    you know you don't
    wanna look in the mirror, but I peer through.
    Can't see me like Nosferatu,
    or a two way tinted pane
    sucking your potential for attempted fame
    straight from the vein,
    while you bitch and complain...

    Cause I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?
    ©soliquince

  • soliquince 14w

    Cause and Effect pt. 3

    The more you powder your wig,
    the louder I spit.
    Bitch to me; call what I see,
    wash you out with brown listerine.
    Break hay fevers like an antihistamine,
    Cattle prod, culture shock,
    rip the feed muzzles off
    and strap 'em to your cock.
    Cowardly shit I am not,
    hourly grazing Tik Tok,
    Trolli sour gummy worms,
    I remember eating those alot.
    (Still do, guess nothing's changed, I thought I'd grown up and kicked the habit but...)
    Tick tock, tick tock,
    same differences,
    hold your crosses,
    all your salt, rosaries and holy water, (toss it!)
    Aim your crosshairs,
    pitchforks, remotes,
    weild your keyboards,
    (you're gonna need those...)
    empty your replies like gun smoke,
    you know you don't
    wanna look in the mirror, but I peer through.
    Can't see me like Nosferatu,
    or a two way tinted pane
    sucking your potential for attempted fame
    straight from the vein,
    while you bitch and complain...
    ©soliquince

  • soliquince 14w

    Easy to see Cause and Effect pt. 1 and 2

    I can sing a couple of Eminiem songs word for word,
    and if it weren't for my lungs
    being shriveled up
    from more than a couple puffs and roids;
    my voice
    could move nations.
    Lines could bring lines to stadiums,
    rhymes would bring young kids who don't wanna do chores
    conform to the new age of degraded degenerates.
    Baptized in hentai, wait for your confirmation; incentivized to let that nut fly,
    (at least it's not to a cross dressed guy.)
    But I got your kid saying "Kawaii."
    Going out in public with a tail;
    (should've pulled out, right?) jewellery encrusted vultures widen their eyes,
    whiten a smile,
    asking somebody else's parents why, why?!

    Cause I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?

    Well I'll dance around like a circus clown; "hyuk hyuk" and a "fuck!" while I and your scarecrow wife are making out.
    (I mean your scarecrow wife and I,) will be, you know me, I went to your Mormon housewarming party last week.
    Calm down,
    this is a comedy piece for my ears cause I love the sound
    the internet makes when there's bars to complain about.
    Insensitive, irreverent, intelligent, but you'll never mention it.
    You just look for a bench to sit
    on the sidelines while your nine year old's coach wets his dick
    but you'll never mention it cause he's a family friend,
    and your balls deep into it.
    Cause you're intimate
    life's kinda stale, spice it up with your kid,
    then wonder why he likes men
    ten years off a bend getting bent over, getting strangled, coming again and again,
    but the "truth of it is..."

    I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?
    ©soliquince

  • soliquince 14w

    Cause and Effect pt. 2

    Well I'll dance around like a circus clown; "hyuk hyuk" and a "fuck!" while I and your scarecrow wife are making out. (I mean your scarecrow wife and I,) will be, you know me, I went to your Mormon housewarming party last week.
    Calm down, this is a comedy piece for my ears cause I love the sound the internet makes when there's bars to complain about. Insensitive, irreverent, intelligent, but you'll never mention it. You just look for a bench to sit on the sidelines while your nine year old's coach wets his dick but you'll never mention it cause he's a family friend, and your balls deep into it. Cause you're intimate life's kinda stale, spice it up with your kid, then wonder why he likes men ten years off a bend getting bent over, getting strangled, coming again and again, but the "truth of it is..."

    I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?
    ©soliquince

  • soliquince 14w

    Cause and Effect pt. 1

    I can sing a couple of Eminiem songs word for word,
    and if it weren't for my lungs being shriveled up from more than a couple puffs and roids; my voice could move nations. Lines could bring lines to stadiums, rhymes would bring young kids who don't wanna do chores conform to the new age of degraded degenerates. Baptized in hentai, wait for your confirmation; incentivized to let that nut fly, (at least it's not to a cross dressed guy.) But I got your kid saying "Kawaii."
    Going out in public with a tail; (should've pulled out,) jewellery encrusted vultures widen their eyes, whiten a smile, asking somebody else's parents why, why?!

    Cause I'm cause and effect,
    "My kid wouldn't have turned out like this if it wasn't for him!"
    Your mini me not being interested in world politics,
    cause I don't want no part of it.
    Too scared to talk to women
    so 2D is what receives prayers.
    Cause I'm a comparative threat
    to a communal terrorist,
    apparent as fly fucked glass.
    a parent scared of their own past,
    so pass that shadow under the table;
    cable rots minds but it's less poison than what kept y'all stable.
    But I'm the cause and effect?!
    You hear your own bullshit?
    ©soliquince