What happened to that girl ,
the girl with perfect grades
the girl playing in the ocean every afternoon
the girl laughing with her friends
the girl doing a photo shoot wearing her favorite dress
What happened to that girl
the tanned girl who was skinny like a model
the girl who ran out of fingers to list her passions
the girl that spent hours making desserts, locking her fingers clean of chocolate
the girl who read books on the beach, wind brushing against her hair
What happened to that perfect girl?
What happened to daddys little girl?
What happened to that smart girl?
What happened to the girl who was perfect?
How did that girl with perfect attendance and straight Es come to be here; half an hour late , head dropped and feet dragging hiding from society with puffy eyes from crying.
Only a hoodie to hoodie to hide the body they hate so much.
How did this happen?
Was it the loss of innocence,
a realization that life is meaningless?
Was it the shattering of childhood dreams,
t he last ounce of hope ripped from their heart?
How did this person end up wearing a sports bra for days on end hiding their body?
How did this person end up eating 2 chips for lunch because the texture of a sandwich makes their brain tear apart?
The dry skin flaking underneath a bra stained with sweat and the constant roll of hunger remains them how their life is a mess.
A COMPLETE MESS
When did their showers become hours long , sat on the floor, tears brushed away from their skin , their skin burnt bright red, the scalding water taking the pain away , the stained water rushing a wave of red down the drown?
Every step reminds them of how their footsteps feel wrong , they don't deserve to belong on earth, every breath a breath wasted on this planet.
What happened to the mornings of freshly cooked french toast and sunrise walks?
What turned the mornings into sobbing under the covers the harsh sunlight reminding them another day will rip away the threads of hope?
What happened to the girl that was terrified of death?, now only a ghost remains , one which begs and plans for a way to escape life.
Only a Ghost , at the back of class , only words muttered are 'present sir', before they slink back underneath their hoodie , headphones in, thoughts intruding their mind.
Every sound makes them flinch
Every bright light is too strong
Everythings too much to handle
Everything's too much
What happened to the girl laughing on the beach in the sunshine?
Playing fetch with her dog?
Kicking balls back and forward with her dad?
What turned them into the monster that ripped apart a can , using the sharp edge to feel things ,the sharpness making everything feel better?
How did the monster come to lie in the stormy waters , the winds and fog swilring around them , there hands around there neck , shoes soaked , taking the last breath , then hiding, waves washing over then , winds howling around them , they are at peace , motionless , until they gasp for breathe and they relaise that there is still life within them, screaming out in fury that life exists?
What happened to the little girl whos only wish was too see a shooting star?
Was it the fact that they learnt to hate their body?
Was it the fact that someone calling there name became a harsh reminder that they exsit.
Or was it just that there brain that invades every thought , sweeping over like a wave, trying to drown them.
Their cries for help
Until it became a whimpering cry for hope.